A Walk on the Hellmouth
by thegoodfight
Summary: YAHF: A simple white trench coat turns Xander into someone that's going to make everyone pay. No one kidnaps John Taylor and get's away with it. Buffy/Nightside crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** OK, so this is something that has been rolling around in my head for a while. Just something I wanted to do for fun and excitement. If you don't know John Taylor or the Nightside then I suggest reading the Nightside series by Simon R. Green. Their fast reads and fun. Please send any and all suggestions or comments, they make typing faster and warm fuzzy feelings...or that's the bad Thai food. Either way, enjoy.

Alright, this was just plain odd, which was saying something for him. After allowing himself a moment to look around at the street he was standing on he started walking. As he moved, he patted down all the pockets in his long white trench coat making sure that everything that should be there was. Finding yourself standing in the middle of a strange place was bad enough but without any type of defense would be suicide. So far, everything was where it should be right down to the packets of pepper and salt. After he patted himself down, he shoved his hands deep into his front coat pockets, set his face with a determined look and kept walking. It didn't matter where you were, if you walked with purpose, confidence and acted like a right bastard, people left you alone and generally stayed out of your way. He had no idea where he was heading, mind you, though that made sense since he didn't have a clue as to where he was.

His eyes flicked to his left and right taking in more of his surroundings. The houses where neat and orderly affairs, which made him positive that he wasn't in any part of the city he had ever been in before which is something he didn't think was even possible. Sure, there seemed to be some of the usual noise of the city coming from around him. Some of the usual creatures and demons he could make out running about so he couldn't be that far out of the heart of the city? He knew the ritzier areas where strictly for the Powers and Dominations which none of these beings where. Hell, some of them looked more like they had gotten their look from the _Who's Who in Hell _book from a century or so ago.

Still, there was something bothering him. Something wasn't sitting right with him in this place. It smelled too clean, for one thing. But, there was also the distinct lack of rubble or destruction anywhere. People had been working hard to rebuild after the war but no where was this cleaned up by a long shot. Finally, he stopped and looked up into the sky. The moon was their but it wasn't anywhere near full. Also it was only the size of a normal moon, no where near the size he was used to. This settled it for him. He was no longer in the Nightside which raised a countless number of other questions.

But, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of stopping and thinking. He had to keep moving and keep up the scowl that was no longer just an act. Even if he was inwardly thinking _'Shitshitshitshitshitshit,'_ he had to look the part of someone who had everything under control. From what he could tell, the things running about could still pose a threat to him and would probably eat him alive, body and soul, if he even hinted at being weak or unsure. Besides, he was John Taylor. He had a reputation to uphold. Which is why when a red headed teenager ran up to him calling him Xander he only stopped and gave her a look.

"Xander, thank God. You're alright!" the girl said. She was dressed in some kind of clubber get up which screamed come on's and lurid possibilities. He had seen better in his time, much better. But still, the kid could pull it off if she had managed to get the right walk and attitude down but she didn't.

"Sorry, kid. Not interested. You may want to change your pitch a bit though," he told her and moved past her. His voice sounded strange to him, wrong somehow. Another thing to take in.

"What? No! Definitely not! You're Xander. Xan-der," she repeated the name again, slower, as if that would make him believe her. "Well, your sort of Xander. I mean, your Xander but only you've turned into your costume. Everyone seemed to. I did too, see?"

She finished her ramble and stuck her hand through his chest causing John to take a step back. "Hey! Hands off," he told her brushing off the front of his coat. He silently cursed himself for not noticing the fact that the girl was a ghost. He would have thought he was slipping but the redhead really looked more solid then most of the ghost he ran into. Hell, her cheeks still had some color to them. But, when he looked a bit closer he could make out the lamp post behind her, though it was faint. Still, he should have picked up on it.

"Great, all I needed was some whacked out spirit," he mumbled.

"No, it's true! It's Halloween and we dressed up and now where whoever we dressed up as. All the kids turned into demons and monsters and now I'm a ghost! And your Xander only you dressed up as...well, you didn't even know who you dressed up," the ghost finished.

John was only able to stare at her for a moment. This was a bit much to take in and believe which, of course he didn't. It made no sense. Something like that would take a bit of power behind it. Sure, maybe some kind of lesser god or a Power and Domination could pull it off but they wouldn't really have any reason behind it. That was, of course, assuming that any of this was true. If it was, it raised two big questions for him. Who would dress up like him and, more importantly, what happened to the real him?

He considered using his gift to find himself but that seemed like it was asking for trouble. For now it was probably best that he didn't use his gift till he found out more about where he was. Just because Lilith was taken care of didn't mean that there weren't other things out there that could find him and there was no shortage of people and things that where most definitely not people that would want to hurt him. Mommy dearest may be gone but that didn't mean his troubles where. But, first things first.

"You're saying that I'm not me, right? Well, what sort of proof do you have? Something like this would take a whole lot of power and would be hard to pull off without someone noticing," he said, trying his best to sound casual. He felt his anger building up inside of him from the very idea of this being true but didn't want to let it show. Best to never let them see you explode till you needed too. Also, if he strained himself, it was almost as if he could hear some tiny voice inside his head yelling at him to be nice to the ghost keep her safe. Which was crazy since the baring a necromancer or some kind of spirit eater the ghost was perfectly safe and sound. You know, if you didn't count the fact that she was dead.

"Proof? I'm a ghost!"

"Yes, I can see that."

"But I wasn't always!" she shouted.

"No one ever is," he said, rubbing his forehead and letting out a breath. John just knew he was going to have a really bad headache really quickly if this kept up.

The girl threw her arms in the air, "I was dressed as a ghost! I was alive a few minutes ago until whatever happened, happened. I was alive, thank you very much."

John raised an eyebrow, "The ghost of what exactly?"

Before the spirit could answer him, however, John spun around to face some sort of demon from what he could guess. The thing was maybe five foot ten, red and muscular and had devil horns curling out of its forehead. The small amount of clothing it was wearing consisted of a beaten leather tunic and a the same beaten leather coverings on its forearms. It certainly led credibility to the girl's story. No self respecting demon would be caught out of Hell wearing something like that. The thing looked like it had stepped directly out some storybook about damnation. It took everything in his power not to simply roll his eyes at it. John may be a bit more lost then usual but it would be a cold day in Hell before something this pathetic was able to sneak up on him.

"Mmmmm...meat," the thing growled.

John did roll his eyes at such a pathetic line, took two steps towards the sorry excuse for a demon and kicked him square in the groin. As expected, the demon folded to the ground whimpering, holding his nether regions tightly.

"I think it might be best if we moved this somewhere else, miss," he told her indicating to the sidewalk.

"Willow. My name is Willow," she told him then looked back at the creature who was still on the ground. "You, um, didn't hurt him too bad, did you? I think I may have class with that one."

"You have class with a demon?"

"Costumes, remember?" the girl, Willow, reminded him.

He shrugged and started for the walkway and out from the middle of the street. It felt odd standing in the middle of a roadway after avoiding standing in them all his life. There where less painful ways to die then venturing out into the street and most of them didn't involve getting eaten by something that only looked like a car.

Willow followed him, suddenly getting excited as she seemed to remember something. "Buffy! We have to find Buffy!"

"Buffy? Who's Buffy?" John asked. He had stopped once they hit the sidewalk but started to tentatively walk over to a parked car. For all he knew this is where those things that looked like cars came from. Once he was sure it was safe he knelt down and looked in the side mirror.

"Our friend. She dressed up as some kind of noble women," she told him. "She's out there and if you don't know who you are then she might not now either. It's not safe out there especially if she doesn't know anything."

"Crap," John whispered. As he examined his face, he knew instantly that the face looking back at him wasn't his. It was fuller then his own, definitely younger too. By about at least ten or twelve years if he had to guess. Oh, and the other thing that made him sure was that he knew his own damn face when he saw it and this was not his. Hell, the hair color wasn't even close.

Now he was getting angry again. "Someone's going to pay for this," he growled. "No one hijacks my soul and plays games with it. Kathy had tried to talk me into getting protection for this sort of thing but the premiums are so damn expensive!"

He needed to think. He needed to sit somewhere and think. Preferably with a large drink in front of him.

"Xander," Willow said tentatively. "We need to find Buffy. If she isn't herself then she could be in real danger."

"Taylor," he said with a sigh and standing up again. "My name's John Taylor."

The two looked back over to the demon who suddenly let out a sound like a cross between a gurgle and a pained whimper. He scrambled back to his feet and looked at John with wide eyes.

"Taylor? John Taylor?" the thing growled out.

Taking a step forward, John glared at him. He made sure that one of his hands had drifted to one of his pockets where he kept any number of things, hoping that they would work. The demon may be pathetic but that didn't mean it couldn't hurt him if he got careless. For all he knew there was more to the thing then he knew, which meant that he would have to rely on dirty tricks instead of a hard bluff. He doubted the thing would know him. He didn't even look like himself.

However, the demon must have only heard of him by name because he let out another whimper, turned around and started running for all he was worth in the opposite direction of him. It seemed that his reputation had spread further then he had thought. It wasn't any surprise after the whole business with Lilith but it was still good to see that his very name could get that reaction.

Smiling, he turned back to find that Willow was giving him a questioning look.

"What was that all about? Why'd he run away just cause he heard your name?"

John only smiled a bit more before saying, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The two started walking off again in search of the girl, Buffy. Willow was doing more of the actually looking and would call out her name every once in a while until John gave her a look. She at least had the good grace to look sheepish at her foolishness. John, though, was mostly mulling things over.

Sure he had seen and done stranger things then this in his time but it was all a bit disturbing to wake up and find yourself thrust into someone else's body. There was also a magic in the air that he was only just noticing. It was subtle at times and practically tangible at other moments. It wasn't anything he had ever felt before but that didn't mean anything. But there was a hell of a lot more going on then some simple, or rather complicated and potent, spell work going on here. The best thing he could do at this point would be to go along with it, see what he could find out and then track down whoever was responsible for this and let them know just how unpleased he was with them.

Screams could be heard off in the distance and off in the not so distant. Despite being accustomed to such sounds from being raised in the Nightside, it didn't make him like it any better. These where screams of real fear and terror, pain and suffering and he really doubted that anyone here had been expecting or deserved any of it. Unless they where tourist of course. But, still, there was nothing he could about it at the moment so he just pushed the thought out of his head.

He had to think of this like a case. Find the missing girl, reverse the spell and kick the ass of whoever did this. Best to start at the top then.

"So, what does this Buffy look like, anyway?" John asked.

"Oh, uh, blonde. About my height. She was wearing a dress. Like I said, one of those Victorian ones. Oh! Wait. She isn't blonde now. She had on a wig, a black wig," she finished and looked at him expectantly as if hopping that he would remember something about the girl.

John let out a breath, "Alright, so where looking for a girl who is of average height with either blonde or black hair wearing a dress? Shouldn't be too hard."

"Well, how am I supposed to describe her? You, the real you, knows what Buffy looks like. It's not exactly like I have a picture of her on me," Willow said slightly annoyed.

He couldn't help but give her a small smile, "I imagine that you wouldn't in a get up like that."

The joke had the desired effect, causing Willow to blush slightly and open her mouth only to close it with nothing to say. He had never seen a ghost blush before and he had to admit that it looked cute on her. _'She's no Suzie Shooter,'_ he though, _'But then again there isn't anyone like my Suzie.' _

They kept walking without any sign of Buffy. A couple of times they ran across some kind of monster or creature and every time they moved a respectable distance away when they saw him coming. Word must have traveled fast that he was in town and it was a blessing that not a single person or being knew what he really looked like here. If they had, he doubted that his name would have mattered much. Each time, Willow would give him a look waiting for him to explain which of course, he never did.

They hit what must have amounted for the main road. It was a quaint little street and made John uneasy. It was too...cutesy for him. He missed the grim and the dirt of the Nightside. This was more like some far little town off in the middle of the English countryside. But, he noticed one thing that made him slightly happy. At the end of one of the streets he could see the neon sign of a bar. It was enough to make him almost shout for joy at the idea of a drink.

Indicating to the bar, John said, "Come on, we need some information. Walking around blind like this isn't doing any good."

"But, Xan-John, that's a demon bar, Willies Place. They, uh, aren't going to be to receptive to us and especially not to you," she told him.

She was obviously nervous about going into the place but she didn't understand. Whoever Xander was, he wasn't him. He was John Taylor and he didn't back down from anyone or anything. No matter sensible it might be to do so.

He shrugged and walked to the bar. John knew that Willow would follow him. If this body belonged to a friend of hers then she wouldn't let it out of her sight till it was safe. Then again, they might be friends like he and some of his friends where friends. In which case she may have her own agenda in mind.

No, he couldn't think like that. That path led to madness. Best to trust his instincts and go with it till he could get more information and a bar was a perfect place for that, especially if it was a demon bar.

Pushing open the door, he walked in like he owned the place and was there with a purpose. The place was about us sleazy as you could get without being condemned. The air was thick with smoke and music was blasting from the jukebox. There was a fairly large crowd of people and things that where clearly not people in the bar and between the music and the noise of conversation it was practically deafening. It reminded him of him instantly.

John strolled over to the bar and he knew the bartender saw him. It was a small guy with slicked back thinning hair and an on apron over a basic white T-shirt and jeans. The guy did a double take when he saw him and hurried over, ignoring the furry creature that had been talking to him.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing in here? I know Halloween ain't exactly a demonic night but there's something different tonight. These things in here will tear you apart no matter if your friends with the slayer," he said in a harsh whisper.

That was interesting. The kid knew the slayer. John had heard of the slayer, of course. There was even a story that went around about one slayer who had went to the Nightside trying to rid it of its demons and monsters back in the fifties or so. No one ever found all of her body after those first five minutes and it never happened again, unless you counted the vending stands. But, still, outside of the Nightside she was probably a force to be reckoned with and whoever's body he was currently inhabiting knew the current slayer. Could be useful information later but not now.

John gave the bartender his best reassuring smile. "Don't worry about me. I'll take my chances. Brandy."

The little guy gave a nervous laugh, "Kid, come on. That ain't funny. The slayer would kill me if she let me let you stay here let alone serve you any."

A few of the surrounding patrons had heard him and also let out a laugh. It was probably the laughter that did it to him. Something inside of him snapped. Grabbing the bartender by his shirt, he dragged him forward across the bar and leaned into his face.

"Brandy. Large glass. Now," he seethed. His face was hard and he made sure to look the little rat faced man in the eyes.

Pushing him back, the bartender stumbled but to his credit, didn't fall. Clearly, he was shaken but managed to pour the drink without spilling a drop and handed it over. "O-on the house, kid, alright?" he said with a nervous grin.

John nodded solemnly and moved away to the bar and into an empty booth, keeping his back to the wall. A lot of the people had seen what had happened which was fine by him. Nothing like letting people know that he wasn't to be trifled with, even if it was just man handling a small time bartender like that guy.

Willow had also seen the whole thing and sat down across from him, staring. "John, what was that all about? You said you wanted information, not a drink. Xander's underage."

"Yea, I guessed that. Anything else you want to fill me in on? Maybe on who the slayer is now and why the bartender said that I knew her," John said taking a sip of his drink. He savored it and the burn in his throat, ignoring the pointed look Willow was giving him.

"Oh, uh, he said that?" When he didn't respond, Willow caved. "Remember that friend we we're looking for? Buffy? Well, she's sort of, well, uh, the slayer."

Taking another sip, John let that sink in. The slayer, a friend of whoever he was in, was out there without any idea of who she was more then likely. He personally didn't care but he knew that the slayer was supposed to stand up for the same type of people he did. The little people who usually ended up with the short end of the proverbial stick and are prey to the dark things out there. And again, there was that annoying voice in the back of his head yelling at him to go and do something about it.

"You might have mentioned that earlier," John said with a glare.

Again, the girl looked sheepish and blushed, "Well, it's a secret." Suddenly she turned serious and angry. Having seen worse things in his time, on her it just looked cute. "Besides, who are you anyway? Xander didn't even know what character he was dressing up as and now you have demons running away from you. I want answers, mister!"

John gave her a confident smile and took another sip. "That's a long story for which we don't have time. Besides, we have company," he told her nodding behind her head.

He must have made a friend of someone in the bar because two men who looked like bad knock off of the mafia come over to their booth. By men, though, he meant that they where clearly male but one was a vampire while the other looked like a shark. The vampire was obviously one of the more progressive types, which you didn't see much of in the Nightside. The vampires their tended to stick toward the more romantic look. The shark, though, was a new one for him but not that unusual.

"Ah, Mr. Taylor, I presume. Word of your arrival has been spreading through town. I can't say that I'm not surprised. I mean, someone of your reputation, here, in Sunnydale! Well, I'm surprised is all," the shark said. His voice had a slight hiss to it, which probably meant he still had his gills.

"News generally travels fast. Though I can't say I particularly care. So, piss off," John said not even bothering to look at the two of them.

The vampire growled and made a move but the shark put his hand out to stop him. "Now, now, now, Mr. Taylor. We've only come to talk to you on behalf of our very esteemed Mayor. He wishes' to...extend his warmest greetings to you but asked that you leave our fine town."

John gave them a smile that made both of them backup. "And he's sent his two very best to see to it that I leave town, right?"

The shark reached into his coat and pulled out a gun, "Mr. Taylor, this can go very easy if you would just...consider our esteemed Mayor's suggestion. Things aren't that safe in this town. It could be...dangerous for you."

"Well, danger. That would definitely be a change for me," John told him. He looked between the two of them and then down at the gun pointing at him. "Your gun's empty."

The shark looked at him, then down at the gun in disbelief. John held out his hand and let the fifteen bullets that had once been in the gun fall to the floor. For some reason, the gun wielding enforcer felt the need to pull the trigger, surprised that nothing happened and started laughing nervously.

"Run along before I decide to do something similar involving your organs and a bucket," John said with a nasty smile on his face.

The two choose to smartly leave, though not as fast as most would. I guess they too had some kind of an image to uphold but he doubted that they could keep this from getting out. Things like this had a way of getting talked about and he knew that people at the bar where already whispering about it. The only distressing thing was that he was sure the vampire had mentioned about him not fitting the description they had been given. That meant someone out here knew who he was and what he looked like. That could cause problems.

Willow had that look on her face again. The one that reminded him of a puppy that wanted to run away but was too curious to do so. "How'd you do that? Are you some kind of wizard or warlock or something?"

"I'm John Taylor," he told her with a sly grin.

"What does that even mean! Who the hell is John Taylor? At first I thought you where some kind of comic book character b-but people know you! They know John Taylor like he's a real person," she said, her voice getting higher and higher.

"That would be because I am a real person. Only now this is starting to make a bit more sense. He said that I'm in Sunnydale, right? That wouldn't happen to be Sunnydale in California, would it? In America?" John watched Willow nod in response and groaned. "The bloody Hellmouth? You have got to be kidding me!" John slammed his fist on the table in frustration.

"I, uh, guessing you've heard of us, huh?" Willow said nervously. Clearly she wasn't used to people acting like this. Maybe it was the body of her friend acting like this.

John made himself calm down. It wouldn't do any good to start getting angry right now. He'd save it till he could hurt someone.

"Yea, I've heard of this place. Everyone has. Sunnydale, California. Home of the bloody Hellmouth," John told her, downing the rest of his drinking.

"That's why we have to get out of here and get Buffy, John. If you know about this place then you know how dangerous it is," Willow pleaded.

"Dangerous? This place? Hell, this is a weekend getaway and relaxing vacation destination for the things where I'm from. The only reason most of us stay away is because of how touristy the whole thing is. I just know I'm never going to live down being here.

"I need a phone. I need to call Kathy and get her to get Suzie or somebody to get me out of here. She's at least been here before. Then again she'd go just about anywhere if her mark runs," John said mostly to himself.

"Kathy?" Willow asked. "That's the second time you've mentioned her tonight. Is she someone important to you? Can she help somehow?"

"Kathy? No, not at all. Kathy's my secretary. She sort of adopted me after I saved her from a house that was trying to eat her. No, who we want is Suzie Shooter. She's the one who's been here before when a bounty tried hiding out in this shit hole of a town. The only time she ever charged her client more for the distance but I think that she only resented having to come here."

Willow was silent for a moment before she whispered, "Oh...," and left it at that.

"Damn, the phones are probably still down. It's taking forever to get everything up and running again."

"I know I'm going to regret this but, uh, why are the phones down?" Willow asked.

Letting out another sigh, John explained. "Where I live, is...recovering from a war. Mother dearest decided to come in a clean house, so to speak and subsequently laid waste to nearly all of the Nightside. At the moment the powers back online but phones are still down. I think there having trouble filtering out some of the more distressing other worldly infomercial's."

Again, Willow met the answer with silence but at least this time she managed a follow up question after a moment. "You're...mother?"

"Yea. My mother, that great and powerful biblical myth, Lilith. Cast out of Eden because she refused to bow down to Adam, though I'm told that's really more of a parable.

"She would have destroyed the whole world in order to reshape the Nightside."

"Your mother's...Lilith?"

"Not important," he told her with a wave of his hand. "We need to find this Buffy, the slayer. Normally I would use my gift to find her but let's save that for the moment, shall we?"

They both stood up. John didn't bother asking how she had managed to sit without falling through the booth. That, however, didn't stop Willow from continuing to ask questions.

"Your gift? That thing with the bullets?"

"No, not that. I find things, whether or not they want to be found. People, objects, answers. It's all the same really," he told her then headed for the bar. It was a sign that the patrons where smarter then they looked because they all gave him plenty of room. The bartender took one look at him and looked about ready to wet himself, but went over anyway.

"Kid, I don't know what kind of stunt your pulling but your getting yourself into dangerous territory. Do you have any idea who those two worked for?"

"Not really someone who cares about who's toes I step on. I've seen scary things then this town in my laundry hamper.

"I need information though. Something's off with tonight and you know it. Anyone new in town? Anyone say anything or mention anything?" John asked. They were talking lowly, knowing that anyone could be listening. No matter what town or city you're in, bars are a place where people talk and bartenders listen. Unfortunately, it's also a place where other people listen as well and neither one of them had anything to gain by someone overhearing.

"Jeez, you're really him, aren't you? I don't know how it happened but you're really John Taylor, huh?"

"Yeah, I am. So you know that I'm not someone you want to make upset, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I know that much, at least. Uh, English guy. Just came into town not so long ago. Not big time at all but some of the locals where talking about him. His was Erik, Ian, Eon...something like that," the bartender told him.

"Anyone who might know where he might be?"

John watched the guy shake his head, "Not a clue. He never came in here himself."

After a beat, John nodded and left the bar with Willow following behind him. He even made sure he held the door open for despite the fact that she could just walk through it. He could be classy when he needed to be.

Once they got outside, the reality of the situation hit home again. Superheroes were doing battle with supervillain's, monsters and demons where running around, out in search of whatever prey they could find and a five-foot tall Godzilla ran amuck trying to tear down a building. So far, he wasn't having much luck. But still, the general chaos was clear. It was enough to make John homesick. But, this wasn't home. This was the Hellmouth and a it was a poor man's substitute for the Nightside but it still made a mess of things in it's own way. Whoever made this particular mess though didn't count on him being here. And John was going to show them just how stupid a move that was going to be.

John shook his head but instantly snapped out of his thoughts when Willow called out to him. He turned just in time to see a fist come at his face that would have hit him if he hadn't moved away right away. Years of practice in fights gave him instincts that even while being in a different body where hard to suppress.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? The slayers little pets all out on their own," the owner of the fist chuckled. "This night just keeps getting better and better."

John righted himself and looked at the man who had tried to hit him and stopped cold. It was a vampire in full game-face but he was unmistakable. The long black leather coat, almost identical to his white one, hung around like a cape and he stood there with a confidence that would have intimidated anyone else. But John wasn't anyone else, and the bleach blond vampire was about to be reminded of that.

"William, can't say I'm happy to see you. But then again, we didn't exactly part on the best of terms, did we?" John asked, matching his cocky grin.

Spike laughed, "No, can't say we did. You and the great poof put a bit of a kink in my plans. Almost had the slayer right where I wanted her too. But, this more then makes up for it."

"Really, that was the last time? I could have sworn that the last time we met you tried to stiff Alex out of his bar tab and I had the pleasure of you spilling your drink on me when you tried to run. You know how hard it is to get blood out of this coat?" John asked him.

"How...how the hell did you know about that, whelp?" Spike asked, the grin vanishing from his face.

Taking a step forward, making himself almost nose to nose with Spike, John said, "William, take a look in my eyes. I told you never to set foot in Strangefellows again and you haven't. That's a right smart move, especially since Alex has been known to go on, in great length, about hiring Suzie to come around and collect your sorry arse if anyone even hinted at the idea of you being back in the Nightside."

Spike didn't meet his gaze, merely looked at him right at the bridge of his nose. John could tell that he was trying very hard to figure things out and was almost there with it. He couldn't help but give him one more hint. "You forget, William, no matter how much of a 'Big Bad' you think you are, I'm worse," he whispered.

"Bloody hell," Spike whispered. "It can't be. John bloody Taylor? How in the hell did you end up here? And in the whelps body at that?"

John shrugged, and out of the corner of his eye he saw that Willow was watching with rapt attention. Poor thing really was confused by all this but he couldn't do anything about that. She had seemed genuinely scared of William, or Spike, or whatever the hell he was going by these days. It wouldn't hurt to put a bit of a squeeze on him then. He might even be able to get some information if he was lucky.

"I'm looking for someone from the home land, William. Just came into town a few days ago," John let his voice grow hard. He didn't have to ask or threaten Spike to talk, they both knew he would.

Spike swallowed hard but turned around to address the group of minions behind him. It was a ragtag grouping of half pint demons and full-fledged vampires. All in all, maybe about a dozen or so and more then half where kids who had turned into monsters due to the spell. "Take a hike, you lot. Show's over for now. Halloween's our night to stay in door's."

The crowd answered in varies growls and murmurs. They weren't too happy about the idea of being sent home.

"Spike, who is this guy? I thought that this was supposed to have changed things for the night? What about finding the slayer?" one of the vampires said, stepping forward.

Not to be made weak in front of his minions, Spike spun, grabbed the clearly larger vampire by his ears and slammed him to the ground. "You'll do as I say or I'll make sure you never do anything again, you hear me?" Spike asked, stepping on the creature's neck. Once he was sure that the vampire would listen without fighting, Spike let him up and the group started to disperse.

After they were well enough away, Spike took out a cigarette and started smoking on it like it was the only thing keeping him from shaking. It might have been true since whenever he glanced at John he quickly looked away in fear of catching his eyes.

"Alright, what the hell! You know him?" Willow practically screamed though neither John or Spike could tell at which one of them. Spike was the one to answer her though.

"This bastard? Hell, I wish I'd never met him. I never would have come to this place if Taylor here hadn't got in my way," Spike said pointing at him with his smoke. "Oh no, but John bloody Taylor had to just get involved and make me more enemies then I can count in that damn place."

"Me? William, you're the one who started going on about being the biggest bad this side of the Thames."

"I was high off slayers' blood you idiot! I had just killed my second one, of course I was talking big. But you didn't have to send me out like that," Spike countered.

"You tried to stiff Alex on your tab when he went to kick you out. What do you think was going to happen?"

"Whoa, hold on. What happened? What's going on?" Willow asked.

Noticing Spike sizing Willow up John spoke up before he tried anything stupid, "She's a ghost, William. Don't, unless you want me to get upset with you again. Trust me, I'm looking for an excuse to get violent."

Spike eyed Willow for one more second before shrugging and giving her a wink, "Aren't we all, mate?"

Willow stepped up, apparently either too angry to be scared of Spike anymore or he had lost too much face in the past few moments. Either way, she got into both their faces. "I want an answer, right now. Who is this guy?"

Spike looked worried for a moment, looking to John for an answer. He knew that it wasn't Willow the vampire was afraid of, but rather if he should say anything and if it would hurt him to do so. It didn't matter so much to John. No one knew the whole story and it would be interesting to hear what kind of stories the vampire had heard about him. So, he shrugged and Spike started talking.

"Listen, pet. That whelp you and the slayer hang around with is currently playing host to one the baddest, ruthless bastard's that I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. This is John Taylor, not some small time player like the Master was or Peaches. He's stared down more things then anyone else, including whatever this slayer or any other damn slayer has run across. Hell, last I heard you took on Angel's from both Above and Below. Nearly destroyed the whole damn Nightside in the process," Spike said turning back to address John.

Willow looked at him too. "I thought you said your mom almost destroyed the Nightside?"

Spike choked on the smoke he had just breathed in. "Your mum? Your mum came back and laid waste to the Nightside? Who the hell was she?"

John gave him a look, he was giving a lot of those today and the brandy had done nothing to offset the oncoming headache. Spike, though, had enough sense to not ask anymore questions.

"William, this guy I'm looking for, where is he?" John asked through clenched teeth.

Shaking his head, Spike threw the now spent cigarette on the floor. "No clue, mate. But I definitely want to buy him a drink. This is just...neat."

"That drink better come with a straw because after I'm done with him he'll be getting all his meals that way," John growled out.

"John, no! We have to make sure Buffy's OK first," Willow reminded him.

"If we can get this guy to fix this then Buffy wont be in danger anymore. So, we can either look all around town and try to find your friend and hope that we can fix this later or we find this guy and convince him to do it now," John explained to her. He wanted this over with and fast.

"Are we talking the kind of convincing that involves a bit of violence and blood shed?" Spike asked.

"Very definitely, I'm thinking. Suddenly and all over the place."

"Count me in then."

Willow again looked like she was trying hard to figure out what was going on. "Spike...you want to help? Bu-but you where just trying to kill us a few moments ago?"

Shrugging, Spike took out another cigarette. "What can I say? That was before I knew that your boy there dressed up as John Taylor. If I had known that I would have kept walking. Besides, Taylor here does some of the very best violence. Just being around him on this should be enough to get people buying drinks for ages.

"Say, how did the whelp dress up like you?"

"Damn if I know," John told him truthfully.

"John, you can't seriously trust him, can you? This is Spike where talking about," Willow said wide-eyed.

"Willow, I need someone with a bit of muscle for this. I seriously doubt that walking through anything that's going to be trying to stop us is going to help any. There's no telling what this guy has backing him up. Besides, I need someone who has a good lay of the land," John was trying to put her at ease but it didn't seem to be doing any good. She still looked horrified and frightened at the idea of him working with Spike. Maybe she still hadn't come to terms with him being inside of her friends body but he didn't have time for it since a very disturbing thought had popped into his head a few moments ago.

If he had been transported into this kids body then what the hell happened to the kid's soul? Sure, he had picked up on that annoying voice in the back of his head as the body's own mind but that had nothing to do with the soul. What if his soul had been thrown into his body? There are any number of things that could have happened to him by now. He really didn't like that idea, especially if he did get this reversed and then ended up being dead cause of the kid. Worse yet, what if that meant that he was stuck in this body.

No, he couldn't dwell on that right now. He needed to just stick with his plan. Get the damn spell reversed, thrash the person responsible and then beat on them some more, just for good measure. But, they had to find the man first and Spike had been curiously quiet about knowing anything. Either he was purposely trying to avoid the subject or he was just being his annoying self. It was hard to tell which it was since he had only met the vampire the one time but had heard about him from time to time.

Still, it might be safer to have Willow along, just in case. If she knew the slayer as well then she might also have a beat on things. Besides, it never hurt to have another set of hands around, even if said hands couldn't hold a thing.

Motioning to Willow to come closer, John started whispering to her. "Listen, I don't know what's going to be happening when we find this guy, but I do know William the Bloody. He's a braggart and blow hard but he's good in a tight spot if the stories about him are true. He can't take me and he knows it. He probably doesn't even think that I know he can hear me right now, isn't that right?"

"Oy, stop talking me down like that, Taylor. You know, I have no problem with leaving you and little red ghosty here all on your own," Spike said walking over so that the three of them stood facing each other in the middle of the chaos surrounding them.

"I don't like it. What if he, you know, tries to bite you or something?" Willow said, still uncertain. "Last time we saw Spike he tried to kill us all during parent teacher night. Even Angel's afraid of him, I think."

Spike grinned, his face going back to human at once. "Angel said that? Damn straight! Red, just made my night."

"Fine, great. Let's got on with this. I want to get the hell out of this place as fast as I can and back to the saner would of the Nightside," John said, hardly believing that he had just called the Nightside sane. But, at lest there he knew what was going on. For the most part anyway.

Spike shrugged, still grinning like a mad man, "Lead the way. Your guess is as good as mine."

"If everyone's turning into their costumes, then it's a safe bet that there's something going on with them. So far it's the only thing we have to go on. Willow, where'd you get your, uh, ghost outfit from?" John asked. He clearly didn't know what her clothes had to do with being dead but far be it from him to question.

"Uh, this new place. Ethan's..." she trailed off, clearly making the same connection that John just made.

He blinked once. Then, just for good measure, he blinked again. "Ethan's? A new place called _Ethan's_, and you _just_ now thought it might be important to tell me this?"

"I-I-I didn't think about it. I mean, come on! Give me a break here! I-I'm dead and then your all with the scarring off demons and demon...mob people and shaking down Willie and making Spike listen to you," She stammered. Spike yelled out something indignant but she didn't bother letting him interrupt. "You may think your John Taylor, whoever that is, but you're really Xander and...and this is a lot to take, OK?"

The girl look practically in tears and John's heart went out to her, it really did. But his anger was more then his compassion and he was looking at her with fire in his eyes. If the girl had only been a bit brighter, a bit better in these situations then this could have been all over long ago. He couldn't strike out at her. She was just a kid, younger then Kathy even and this really wasn't her fault. Besides, it would just go through her anyway. So, instead he pushed the anger down, he had stopped counting how often he had down that tonight.

"Where." it wasn't a question so much as a demand.

"Two blocks off Main Street. Maybe about ten from here," Willow said in a soft voice, afraid to speak any louder.

John didn't bother with pretending she was solid and walked right through her and down Main Street. "Come on, people. We have a shop keeper to visit."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** First off, thank you very much to all who reviewed. To those who didn't, well, what the hell was stopping you? And special thanks to Gandhara, hope this clears up some stuff and whatever it doesn't it'll either be explained or I'll let you know. Also, I forgot to mention that to those of you who have read the Nightside series, this take place right after _Sharper Then A Serpents Tooth. _I thought it was obvious but just in case. So, again, any comments or questions please send them on by. It makes the boredom easier to deal with.

John stood outside the shop, Ethan's, after the short but tense walk. Willow had stayed quiet the whole time, lost in thought and probably too scared to speak up. He hadn't meant to frighten the girl so badly but he was getting seriously short on patience. Still, she tended to stick close to him rather then drift to near to Spike. She didn't seem to catch onto the fact that he couldn't hurt her since he couldn't touch her. Then again, she wasn't thinking like a ghost at all. On the way over she had moved out of the way of every object in her path. Dead Boy had once told him that it was a common occurrence with the recently dead, of which she technically was.

Spike had spent the time giggling madly, enjoying every moment of the general bedlam. It had grated on his nerves and it was a near thing that he didn't grab some piece of wood and end the vampire's unlife right then and there but he might need his help still. They hadn't met any resistance coming over here, not for Spikes lack of trying. The blond vampire had tried getting into a fight with two different Zorro's, something that looked like a zombie Elvis and a robot. None of

them seemed to want any part in it, each of them content on keeping their distance from the trio.

John had at least been able to take out a small amount of frustration on a pirate that had leered at Willow. When he had lunged and went through her, John was there with a fist to the face that laid the man out cold. He felt just a tiny bit better with himself and that tiny voice was ecstatic from what he could tell. Spike was upset, of course, that he hadn't been the one to do it and even more so when John told him that he couldn't eat him. Willow at least looked slightly relieved at that fact.

But, now they stood across the street of the shop, seeing what they could. None of the lights where on and so far, no movement had been seen inside. Spike had wanted to just charge in and trash the place till they found something useful. John almost let him but didn't want to lose him to a stupid mistake like that. He still may prove useful to him later on. Particular if he needed a human shield. So, instead he prepared himself to do what he hadn't wanted to do. Focusing, he started to open up his gift, his third eye but instantly slammed it closed. Someone had just come into view, walking up to the window of the shop, trying to see inside.

What was more disturbing though, was that there was definitely the feeling of some..._thing_ taking notice of him. Almost as if some great big presence woke up and turned its giant eyes onto him. It was the very reason he didn't want to use his gift here. Too many damn things lived on the Hellmouth that would see him when he used his gift and despite most of them where wet kittens in comparison to the things he normally dealt, it didn't mean that some of them weren't powerful enough to squash him like a bug. Luckily, they just found a new lead.

The man by the window was in his forties, give or take. Wearing a tweed suit, he looked more like some kind of librarian rather then the man he was looking for. But, there was a way that he carried himself. It spoke of confidence and power, of someone who knew how to take care of themselves in bad situations in years gone past. Still, it wasn't the kind of power that could pull this stunt off. Though he was definitely looking around as if he knew something about what was going on, which meant that he was going to tell them what he knew, one way or another.

Preparing to go over and press hard on the man, he was surprised when Willow ran past him calling out to the man.

"Giles!" Willow exclaimed, running past John in a rush to get to the tweed clad man.

The man Willow had called Giles turned and looked a bit shocked at what he saw. It would have been amusing to watch as he tried to make sense of the three of them, but John wasn't in the mood to be amused. Even if the man looked something like a fish while staring at them. Giles quickly shook himself out of it.

"Dear lord! Xander, watch out!" Giles called out to him. As willow moved to get closer, Giles tried to grab her and pull her behind him for safety. Of course, her being less then tangible, his arms went right through her and the rest of his body followed as he lost his balance. He quickly righted himself and looked wild eyed at Willow. Turning to face John, he almost called out another warning until John fixed him with a hard look. The whole thing must have been too much for him because Giles walked slowly to the curb and sat down, his head resting in his hands.

The man obviously knew both Willow and the body he was inhabiting, Xander. It was easy to see why he was so put out. Willow was now a ghost, and probably some kind of street walker one at that. Xander, was nothing like John and people were quickly learning that. Yet, here was Xander's body wearing an expression that clearly said 'Don't play with me' while Spike hung around in the back looking even more manic then before.

"It's happened to you too," Giles said, his voice oddly monotone. "That bastard got to you as well and now Spike's here to...wait. What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Giles, it's OK. He isn't going to hurt us," Willow tried assuring him. Glancing at John, she bent down and whispered, "I think he's more afraid of Xander then anything else right now."

"Xander?" Giles asked, confusion evident on his face.

"Hey! I am not afraid of that whelp. You even hint at that again and I'll tear his throat out," Spike yelled pointing at Giles, "Tear it out and let you watch as he bleeds to death, right in front of you."

Letting out a growl, Spike started toward Giles and Willow. His face contorted back to that of the demon within, and his growl became deeper. Whether his intent was to actually cause Giles harm or merely scare the two of them, John couldn't tell and he wasn't about to wait to find out. Before Spike got to close, John reached out and put a firm grip on his shoulder, stopping him.

"No, you wont," he told him.

Spike turned his head, yellow animal eyes fixed on John's, "Get your hand off me, Taylor. Not even you're good enough to stop me if I really want to. This isn't the Nightside and you're not in your own body. You think I haven't noticed how your moving? All night you've been off. You're not used to that body and your nowhere near fast enough to take me on right now."

"You sure about that? You want to go head to head, right here and now and find out who's better? Or better yet, why don't I use my gift to find your dear old mum? I'm sure I could arrange for you two to have a nice little sit down. There's probably a whole mess of things you two could talk about," John said. His grip never tightened but he met Spike's face with a cold, vicious grin.

"My mum, is dead. I know that. Not even you can change that." Spike said firmly. But John was good at reading people and Spike's eye's gave him away in a second.

John didn't say anything. He just kept staring at Spike smiling his cold, hard smile. In the end, Spike blinked first, just as they both knew he would. Inwardly though, John breathed a sigh of relief. He had been bluffing him, about the whole thing in fact. He had only been going on half guesses and a few bits of information about Spike's past to pull the mother card on him, but it had paid off. Apparently, there really had been some kind of nastiness between the two of them and it was bad enough to make him not want to risk her coming back. Even if he had known it to be true though, John still couldn't have brought her back but Spike didn't seem so sure about it.

Spike wandered off just far enough to get away from the small group but close enough to be within sight. Giles and Willow, who had watched the exchange, stared openly at John. It was starting to get on his nerves how often it was happening. He was too used to people being to scared to stare openly at him or catch his attention. Willow at least didn't have her mouth hanging open this time. Maybe she was getting used to things after all.

"Giles, is it? My name's John Taylor and I need to know a few things. Such as what brought you too this shop and where the owner is," John asked, hoping that he had sounded a little bit reasonable.

"John Taylor?" Giles asked, looking between John and Willow.

"Hey, don't ask me. I've been trying to figure that out ever since I found him after I woke up dead," Willow told him, putting her hands up to show her exasperation.

"Wait...you know who you are? But...you're dead?" Giles asked slowly, clearly lost and more then a bit confused.

"Yea, of course I do. I still know who I am and everything else. I only dressed up as a ghost."

"Uh, right. Clearly," Giles said, exchanging a look with John.

Willow blushed again, covering her exposed midriff with her arms. John tried to give her his best reassuring smile but it didn't come out so well. The stress must be getting to him. So instead he focused his attention on Giles.

"But you're not Xander. You're...John Taylor? Why does that name sound familiar?" Giles asked out loud.

"Yes, I am. And I need you to tell me everything you know, right now, if I'm going to be able to fix any of this," John told him.

"Just how do you propose you do that?" the disbelief was more then evident in Giles voice.

"The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can tell you. We both think that this guy, Ethan, is the one behind this but that's all I have to go on at the moment. What made you show up here? What made you think that he was the man to see?"

John joined Giles on the curb, knowing that it was important to maintain a certain level of comfort for the other man and standing over him wasn't going to do that. Besides, if it was going to take him a while to talk, he would prefer to listen while sitting down. He may not have another chance to sit down if the night went on. He knew that they would be exposed but had to trust that Spike would keep any flies off, so to speak. The vampire was probably looking for an excuse to hurt someone.

Giles let out a breath, "It was Angel who helped me figure it out. About an hour ago, he and Buffy came running into the library, well, rather Angel was carrying her inside. He had explained to me that she didn't know who she was or where she was. Not amnesia, but rather she thought that she was a woman from the eighteenth century.

"Angel had gone out to look for Buffy when he had heard about what was going on. When he finally did find her, she was being used as some sort of...toy between two creatures didn't recognize."

He quickly looked at Willow, "Don't worry, she's perfectly fine. It seems that the creatures where content to bat her around like a cat. She suffered some superficial wounds and she'll heal just fine. It seems she fainted, however, on the way to the library with Angel. He didn't seem that upset by that fact, for some reason.

"Afterwards, we discussed everything we knew and he told me about the shop and the name of it. I came as fast as I could but it wasn't fast enough it seems. Damn it all! When I find Ethan, I'm going to kill him for this."

"You said once you heard the name of the shop it set you off. How come? Why is the name so important?" John asked.

Giles shook his head, "It doesn't matter. He could be anywhere by now."

Standing up, John looked down at the older man. "I think it does matter. There's a reason why you came running here when you heard the name Ethan and it might be important. Besides, there's still time to catch him. If he's the one who pulled this off, no matter what kind of power he has, he's going to be tired and weak which means he's going to need to rest, and soon.

"So, I'm going to ask again, politely even. Who's Ethan?"

Jumping to his feet, Giles faced John. He no longer looked defeated and was now filled with anger. "Now see here. I don't give a damn about who you might be or what you can do. Right now you are inhabiting the body of a boy who is under my care and you are not about to go throwing yourself in harms way simply because you can. You are _not_ you. I suggest that you leave now and get somewhere safe, preferably with Willow and away from Spike because when _I_ find Ethan and reverse all of this mess you will be gone and that boy who you are using at the moment will be left here and unable to deal with whatever it is you've already done."

John couldn't disagree with the man. Whatever he did was going to have an effect on the kid's life from now on. For better or worse, his life would change, assuming that he wasn't somehow dead and John himself wasn't stuck inside of his body. But it wasn't like he could just sit, huddled in a corner hoping that someone else would fix this. He couldn't even do that when it was the most sensible thing to do and he wasn't about to do it now. He couldn't risk it no matters whose life was at stake. Never mind his own problems right now, what about everyone else who had inadvertently been turned into whatever they were wearing? They could seriously hurt themselves and everyone else in this town.

No, he had to see this through till the end. Maybe it was pure idiocy on his part not to trust it to anyone else, but it wouldn't be the first time someone would call his actions idiotic. Most of the time it was himself. So, being that arguing was going to get him now where and he doubted he would get anything more from the man, John did the most sensible thing he could think of and hit Giles square in the face, knocking him out.

Despite being angry and his adrenaline pumping, Giles never expected the attack and went down hard. Willow looked horrified as John shook his fist. Cold clocking a person was never pain free but this body had very little practice with it and his hand was throbbing with pain.

"Oh, come on! You could have at least let me do that. You're the only one who's been getting to have any fun tonight," Spike cried out, stamping over to John in outrage.

"You would have killed him and you know it," John replied calmly, still nursing his hand.

Considering the idea, Spike shrugged, "That's true. But not the bloody point. So far you've got to hit that pirate and the Watcher and, uh, that pirate guy. When the hell are we going to start tearing things up, Taylor? I'm only along on this ride cause I thought there'd be some quality violence since you're here, even if you are in the whelps body."

"You'll get your action tonight, don't worry. Things are going only getting started. I have a feeling there's more involved here then just one man. Someone or something must have had a hand in all of it. Someone with a bit more pull, a bit more power then average here," John thought out loud.

"Take your pick, mate," Spike snorted. "There's any number of warlocks, monster's and other assorted nasties that would be able to help do this."

"But it would have to be someone who would want to. Someone with something to gain."

"Yea, cause no one ever does anything just for fun," Spike shot.

"No, not with this. This has a more deliberate feeling to it. It's a bit too wide spread for this town for it to just be for fun."

The two stood there trying to think about who would want something like this to happen and why. However, being that neither of them really knew any of the major players in town they didn't think about it long. John had never paid much attention to the Hellmouth and so he didn't know much more then the basics. Spike, despite having been there for a few months, had killed the only major player, the Anointed One, in a fit of anger.

Willow who had been kneeling next to Giles and freaking out over John punching the man, suddenly snapped to life. Jumping to her feet, she turned to John and started shouting, "You...you idiot! How could you? You punched Giles!"

"Don't look now, Taylor, but I think Casper there is mad at you," Spike laughed.

"Shut up, Spike," Willow snapped.

John liked the moxy the kid had. But she didn't understand. "Willow, I did what I had to. Your friend, Giles, was only going to get in the way of things and probably get himself hurt in the process. Whatever information he had he wasn't going to give up to me without a lot of pain and I don't have the time for that and it isn't something I care to do."

"No! It doesn't matter. Giles was right, you don't care what happens to Xander as long as you get what you want. God, what's wrong with you? Don't you care about anyone but yourself?" Willow was practically in tears at this point. Had she not been dead and had tear ducts, she probably would have been crying. Instead she sniffed loudly and turned back to Giles prone form. She knelt back down and reached to take his hand in hers, probably for her own comfort more then

his but her hand went right through his and she knelt there, not moving.

The scene, as well as her accusations, struck him as hard a physical blow. His motives and his actions had been called into question from just about everybody he ever met, and likely even those who hadn't ever met him. It seemed like everyone had considered him a cold, heartless monster who was willing to sacrifice anyone and anything for his own selfish motives. _'After all,' _they would tell him, _'he was his mother's son.'_ Of course, at that time none of them knew exactly who his mother really was and if they had known they wouldn't have said anything in opt of killing him on the spot. Still, even though it wasn't a new experience, it still got to him.

But, John knew better then any of them. He knew what drove him, what made him do what he did. Out of all the people he knew, he was the one who could always make the hard choices, the ones no one else could or would. When working a case he tried his hardest to never let a client down and it was the same with this. The voice in the back of his head, the one that was screaming at him to protect Willow and Buffy, that same voice that cried out in protest and anger over his teaming up with Spike and knocking Giles out. That voice, the voice of the body he was in, was his client and he was going to get him back and straighten this mess out. He knew it wouldn't make much sense to anybody else but that didn't matter.

Bending down, John hauled Giles body into a fireman's carry and for the shop door. Even though the body was bigger then his own, it hadn't quite developed yet into having hard muscles that came from working long tiring hours and as such, the older man's weight was a bit much. Instead of trying to trying to open the door himself, John nodded to Spike who swaggered up to it and kicked it right off its hinges. It was overkill, but Spike enjoyed the bit of destruction and John didn't have to make a fool of himself trying to juggle the man.

Inside, the store was dark and the streetlight streaming in from the now open doorway did little to illuminate the place. John ran his free hand across the inside wall and finally came across a light switch. When he turned it on, the light revealed that the place had been throughly ransacked. Nearly empty costume racks where overturned and thrown about the floor. A display case by the register had been shattered, leaving glass strewn about it. A curtain which had previously been used to separate the back room from the store proper had been torn down revealing what had once been a shrine to some deity. Only a few candles remained on the make shift altar, everything else had been removed.

"Looks like someone already beat us to the punch, mate," Spike said as he toed a bit of broken glass with his boot. "Whoever was here though hasn't been gon for that long. We missed them by about a half hour. Maybe less."

Willow came into the store, her face only slightly less puffy then it had been. "How can you know that?"

"Scent, Red. I can smell it," Spike told her, smiling at the look of disgust Willow gave him.

Noticing an overturned chair that had been thrown against the wall, John managed to right it and place Giles still unconscious body in it. He didn't bother asking Spike to help as that would only earn him more grief.

After he was sure that the man was safely slumped against the wall so he wouldn't fall, he turned to address Willow. "He'll be safe here till he wakes up. Whoever's been here isn't likely to come back. They either found what they where after or it wasn't here."

"But what about everything else? I-I mean what about the other vampires in town or a demon or something like that?" Willow asked, her eyes filled with fear.

"Not likely, pet. Whoever is a real monster knows well enough to stay indoors tonight and whoever's only playing dress up isn't going to bother with this place. Me and mine only came out because Dru had one of her visions. Said someone had changed the rules or something like that," Spike finished with a slight chuckle.

"He'll be fine, Willow. When he wakes up, he'll have a bad headache but he'll be safe," John reassured her. "But we have to keep moving. The longer we stay here the faster Ethan's trail will run cold."

"But I thought you could find anything? Couldn't you just find Ethan?" Willow asked him.

Damn it. The girl had asked the one thing he was hoping that no one would. Someone was bound to at some point, of course. It was what he was known for, one of the things that he defined himself by. Whatever had gotten a peek of him before when he had started to raise his gift had been big and powerful. It wasn't exactly what he would call malevolent, at least not by his standards. But the strangest thing was how familiar the thing had felt to him. Still, he didn't like the idea of being looked at by it again. Like he said, the thing was big and powerful and those two things tended to be things he couldn't bluff.

But if he didn't try then Spike would start having doubts about him and he'd be forced to watch his back even more so then he already was. Though that wasn't the only reason, he knew he was going to attempt to raise his gift again. He was John Taylor, damn it. Nothing and no one ever intimidated him into not using his gift. His ability had saved his and other peoples lives more times then he could count. No great big presence would ever intimidate him into being too frighted into doing it or doing anything else for that matter.

John looked at Willow. While he knew that his own eyes were filled with determination, hers were filled with a mixture he had seen on Kathy the first time he had seen after the house had been destroyed. There was weariness in them and fear. But more then anything there was fire in her eyes. Stubbornness and loyalty that he knew all too well. After seeing her set face he knew that he didn't have a choice in the matter one way or another. Suzie would have something to say right about now about his habit of going in to rescue the damsel thing. Luckily, or unluckily, she wasn't here though.

Nodding to her, he slowly began to open his third eye, what he liked to call his private eye. When he was sure that nothing was watching him, he opened it up more and a whole other world came into view around him. Ghosts, ones much less substantial then Willow, flitted around, permanently stuck in their routines and ignorant of the world around them. Ley lines also popped up in front of him, crisscrossing and at times becoming so condensed they resembled walkways more then thin lines. Whoever had chosen this spot had done so on purpose. Then again, for all he knew the whole town was like this. It was a major point of convergence for all things of the mystical variety.

Putting a bit more power into it and focusing more on who he was looking for, John got his first look of Ethan. His image was stamped across time like everyone else's and he shimmered into existence under John's sight. He was a tall fellow, about as old as Giles though he looked like he laughed a bit more. John watched as Ethan went about the shop, throwing things into a large bag in a hurry and just as expected, the man looked as if it was taking everything in him to keep on his feet.

The door suddenly opened and Ethan jumped in surprise. Clearly he hadn't been expecting anyone. The surprise quickly turned to fear and he tried to get away but was caught by two vampires as they came in the door. There was a brief struggle but in the end, Ethan was dragged outside the door and out of Johns sight. A second later, a different pair of vampires came in. These two where presumably the ones who had given the place a remodeling.

John grabbed onto Spikes arm, allowing him to see what he just saw. After watching it replay again, John let go and was just about to power down his gift when he felt something slam into his mind. It wasn't the same as when the Angels had done the same to him and it wasn't nearly as elegant as Lilith's touch but it was damn strong and nearly threw him to the ground. With a force of will power, John shut down his gift and made sure all of his mental shields where in place. He was slightly happy to see that Spike, not used to even the normal images that he saw minus the mental assault, was leaning against the wall catching a breath he didn't actually need.

"You recognize anybody in that? Any of the vampires a familiar face to you?" John asked once his own headache had dropped to merely excruciating.

"Bloody hell, mate! Give a bloke a moment, will you?" Spike shook his head, apparently to get his thoughts together. "Right, OK then. The last of the two who came in here, he looks like a guy I might have seen once or twice. Goes by the name of Vincenzo or some other nancy boy name like that. This fellow ain't too bright, but he's got a taste for leg work. As in working on people's legs when they owe money. Last I heard he was doing work for a guy named Rack."

"Rack?" John asked.

"Yea, some big time warlock. Powerful and definitely in the major leagues. He mostly keeps to himself, working with magic addicts and getting them hooked more then they already are. Drains them and the like, draws a lot of power that way. Now that I think about it, he would definitely have the power to pull this off. Don't know why, though," Spike told him.

"You know where his place is?"

"It moves around but I could find the place easily enough. You thinking of paying him a visit?"

John flashed him a viscous smile, "I'm thinking of asking a few distressing questions. I might even say please."

"This guy is dangerous though, right? I mean Spike, you said he was dangerous and all. Don't you think we should go and get some backup? Maybe Angel or someone like that," Willow said. Her concern for her friends well being was keeping her with them, not wanting to let them out of her sight but she was also trying to find anyway to either get them to stop or get them to not rush into anything.

"Now I know you've lost it, Red. There is no way in this or the next that I'll ever work with Angel. Ever. I'd die first, well, again, before I do any such thing," Spike told her.

"I know your only trying to help, but there's no time. It's already after midnight and from the sound of it things outside aren't getting any better," John told her.

It was true. They all heard the various yells, shouts and screams from outside in town. Other less human sounds could be heard as well but no one tended to listen to them too intently. As if on cue, the wail of a siren went past on it's way to one of the many emergencies and out of all the noises, it was the one that almost made John jump.

It had been a long time since he had heard a siren. There was no law really in the Nightside and as such, no police. Sure their where emergency services that had made their way in there. Hell, the ambulances ran on distilled suffering and that was only part of what they charged you. But none of them ever bothered with sirens being that no one would listen. The sound of them brought to light again how real this was. Yes, this was the Hellmouth and bad things happened here but general chaos of this kind in the real world, the sane world, was not something that was supposed to happen. It only made him more determined to do what had to be done, no matter what.

"You don't have to come, Willow. We can take care of this on our own," John told her, trying to give her an out.

She didn't take it. John knew she wouldn't and admired her a little for the strength of her loyalty. "No. No way. I'm not letting you out of my sight. Not with Spike around."

They both knew that she couldn't help in her current state. She could maybe act as a distraction or shout out a warning but that was about it. That wasn't the point though. John gave her a short nod then turned to Spike, "Alright then, let's get going."

Leaving the unconscious Giles and the shop behind them, they headed out into the streets of the Hellmouth again. Willow was the only one who looked back and John hoped that he would be alright like he told the girl. Nothing was ever really safe. He hoped that he wouldn't have to explain to Willow why her friend was dead because he told her he would be safe. Or worse, that he left this body and the kid would then be forever associated with Giles death merely because John had been wearing his body. There wasn't anything he could really do though but it left him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Now that he also had something out there that was able to get past his mental shields and attack him he had to be even more careful of using his gift. It was something he had gotten used to back when he was younger but he had thought that he would be past having to constantly watch himself with it now that Lilith was finally gone. But this wasn't the Nightside and he was on unfamiliar ground. Maybe all of those saying about the Hellmouth being the suburb of the Nightside were true. Sure, it looked prim and proper but the dangers here where more subtle and stayed hidden till they had you by the throat. At least in the Nightside the dangers didn't hide so much as shout their presence and people lined up to get them. Most of them paying an arm and leg to do so as well as their souls.

With too many thoughts then where good for him, John dug his hands deeper into his pockets and followed Spike further into the night.

BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK

"Yea, boss. They just left Ethan's now. You want me to pick them up? Yea, whatever you say. We'll keep tailing them. You really think that they'll make it out of their alive? Right. No problem, boss."

"Told you we should just keep following them. If you want to last long with him, you'll learn not to bother him for every little thing."

"Shut up and drive."

Without turning on the headlights, a nondescript back van pulled out of an alleyway near Ethan's Costume Shop and from a respectable distance, followed the trio. With the anti-detection spells that where cast over the van, neither the driver or passenger where too worried about being found out about by there mark but it paid to be cautious. Besides, they knew that they were heading for Rack's place. So, all they had to do now was sit, and wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I'm back! No moving or stupid internet connections will stop me. I had meant to post this a lot sooner but with everything going on it was next to impossible. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and yes, there is a lack of Nightside stories out there. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up in a week or so. It's already written out, just needs to be typed and blah blah blah. Well, hope you enjoy and reviews will make the next chapter show up faster. It's been proven. Honest.

It took the better part of an hour before Spike was able to locate Rack's place. As it turned out, only those either touched by magic or demons could find it and John was pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn't able to find it. Despite being the son of Lilith who gave birth to countless demons and monsters, he apparently wasn't one of them. Then again, maybe it was the body he was in. Still, it gave him some hope that maybe he wasn't the monster everyone thought he was. Even though he couldn't see the doorway itself, John could feel the magic coming off of the immediate. It was strong. Subtle, but strong.

By the time they got there, all but Spike where a bit angrier then when they started out. Things in town really where getting worse by the moment. Several store fronts all along the main street had been destroyed and a few fires had actually broken out. Pack's of demon's ran about like wolves, looking for a fresh target. All of them where less then five feet tall, but that didn't distract from there viscousness. None of them even attempted to go near the three of them as they walked down the street. However, there where a few that where not so fortunate.

Willow was the one who actually cam across the first of the bodies, or what was left of it actually. It was hard to console a girl who was intangible. There was no way for John to take her into his arm and let her cry and instead could only whisper comforting and soothing words to her. She had been so distraught at the sight that John swore she had gone more transparent then she was. Hopefully, it had just been a trick of his eyes and the light and not her fading away. He didn't like the idea of her fading away into nothingness, but he recognized that it was possible.

"Right, well, here it is," Spike told them. "Knew I'd find it. Rack want's his place to be recognized just out of the way. Keeps out the riffraff."

"Anything we should expect on the way in?" John asked. Other then being able to feel the magic coming off the hidden doorway, he couldn't tell anything else about it. For all he knew he could walk right into a trap of some sort.

Spike shook his head, "Wouldn't know. Never been here myself, just heard about it. But there's a bit of a problem."

"What's that?" John asked cautiously.

"Casper here's gonna have to stay outside," Spike said jerking a thumb in Willow's direction.

"What? Why?" Willow asked before John got the chance. She looked concerned but whether that was because John and Spike would have to go in by themselves or because she would have to be outside on her own, John didn't know.

"Well, being that I would have to be holding you for you to get in, I'd say that it would count as a problem," Spike told her passing his hand through her chest to emphasize his point. Willow turned red and moved out of his grasp but it only made Spike grin.

John thought about it for a moment. Not having Willow inside would mean one less set of eyes watching his back. For the moment all he could count on was himself and, to a certain extent, Spike. She wasn't exactly in any danger out by herself in her current state and she wouldn't be exposed to any potential danger that may be inside. If this Rack fellow was as powerful as Spike had heard, then he may be able to handle a few necromancy tricks which would put Willow in harms way. Besides, no matter what he thought on the subject, he didn't have a choice.

"Alright. Willow, you stay out here and well out of sight. I don't want you out in the open in case anything comes along. There are still plenty of things out there that can take a bit out of you in your current state. And don't bother arguing, we don't have time," John told her seeing her start to open her mouth.

"Finally! We might get ourselves a decent fight tonight, eh, Taylor?" Spike laughed.

Rolling his eyes, but not disagreeing with the vampire, John prepared himself to go inside the mystical doorway that he could only barely sense was in front of him. Spike made to grab his arm but stopped when Willow walked in front of them both.

Her face was serious and set. "Wait. Before you go in I want you to understand something. If Xander's body doesn't come back out of this place and both of you aren't dead I will hunt you down and beat you to death somehow." Spike went to open his mouth but stopped when she glared at him. "I mean it. John, I don't really know you and, well, I don't really think I like you that much but your trying to do something to fix this so you better do that. But if you hurt Xander and you get out of this safe, I will track you down. I don't care if your mother is Lilith or whoever the hell you said she is, got it?"

She finished her peace and walked off and John thought that in a few years she might just frighten people the way Suzie did. It was a scary thought to think that there might be someone else out there with the potential to make people run at the very mention of her name. Whoever this kid was he was in had better know how much this girl cared for him.

John turned and found looking at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"Your mother's Lilith? THE _Lilith_?"

Letting Spike stare at him for a moment, John allowed the question to hang in the air. "We going to get going or what, William?"

Knowing that he wasn't going to get an answer, Spike took his arm and walked through the mystical hidden doorway and into what looked like a waiting room in a crack house. There where couches and chairs about the room and everything had a sort of soft, dull appearance. That included the people as well. There where a fair amount, six of them in all, that where waiting quietly, if not patiently to be seen. Most looked strung out and two where even twitching. One was content to rub her hands over her arms over and over again. She must have been doing it for quite some time because they where starting to get raw and her nails where cutting in to her flesh, drawing blood. Considering the two vampires by the door, it probably wasn't the best thing for her.

If they cared about Spike and John entering the room, they didn't show it. Like any bouncer worth there weight, they simple stood and waited to see if anyone caused trouble. Neither of the two where the one from the vision he got from back in the shop but that didn't mean that Rack still wasn't involved. It was just a matter of getting past twiddle dumb and dumber at the door. But John Taylor would quit the day he couldn't either talk his way past a doorman or force his way into a place.

"So, you think we should announce ourselves all polite like?" Spike said, not bothering to whisper.

"I think I'll let you do the talking right now. You seem to be a people person," John told him.

Grinning, John watched as Spike sauntered over and gave the two vampires a look up and down. Both where at least a head taller then him, but he didn't seem to care. In fact, he seemed to grin more and let back his head in a throaty laugh before lashing out and catching both by surprise with a punch. Still, they where bigger then Spike and despite the old adage, they did not fall down hard. Both where still standing and looking pissed but also excited at the chance to do some violence.

Both made a grab for Spike but he was quicker. Dodging to the left, he followed up with two rabbit punches to the one and kicked out his knee cap sending him screaming to the floor. He had went to follow it up with a knee to the face but was lifted off the ground by the doorman on the right and thrown into the wall behind John.

"Need a hand?" John asked, still standing there looking calm relaxed.

"Not in the least," Spike growled rushing forward and jumping at the still standing vampire.

Spike must have been heavier then he looked or maybe it was just the force of his weight but when he hit his target they both went flying into the door, rattling it on it's hinges. It was a sturdy thing though and didn't break under the combined weight of the two of them. But as the bouncer held Spike in the air, Spike rained down savage blows on him. Each one shook the door they where leaning against and several cracks could be heard forming in it.

John saw the vampire Spike had taken out earlier begin to test his damaged knee out and trying to get up to help his associate. Not wanting to feel left out, John walked over and proceeded to kick him in the ribs and kidneys. He didn't have the strength that the vampire had, but he knew how to give a beating. Years of practice would give anyone that expertise in the matter. Though admittedly, he was more often then not on the receiving end of his lessons. Either way, it was therapeutic to have something to just hit to take his frustration on. The vampire finally went down and John gave him a finally blow to the head, just for good measure.

Looking up, John saw that Spike's opponent was barely able to stand and at this point had settled for just trying to hold Spike away from him as far as he could. Finally, he was able to get his arms around Spike's body and pulled him into a massive bear hug that probably would have crushed a normal man's chest. Spike merely grunted and head butted the man three times in succession. Stunned, as well as pained by the beating, the vampire let go. Once his feet touched the ground, Spike kicked him in the chest. The door finally gave way after all of the abuse it had suffered and the vampire bouncer laid on the floor in the doorway and didn't get up.

"Now _that_ was fun," Spike said with a satisfied smirk.

He couldn't deny it so he didn't even bother. He gave a quick look around the room once no one came to great them after they busted down the door. Not a single person had even so much as looked up during the whole fight. All of them where too wrapped up in getting there next fix. He knew the look, the desperation, the need that was written all over there faces. When he had lived in Rats Ally back when he was younger, that look was on everyone's face. Including his own. The only difference that anyone had was what there addiction was. His was never something as simple as a drug or a mystical high. Lucky for him, a god and now friend helped him out of that place. Though he doubted that Razor Eddie would simply talk to the people here. With him, the whole place would probably end up in flames.

John turned back to see the Spike was still on his post fight rush. His face had contorted and his fangs made his smile look positively evil, which he supposed was the point. Still, Spike was getting cocky and that usually ended in making a mistake somewhere. But he wasn't going to be able to sober him up anytime soon. So, best to make use of it while he could.

"Why don't you go first," John told him.

With a grin still plastered on his face, Spike walked through the doorway, stepping on the downed vampires hand on the way. A second later, there was a flash of red light and Spike was thrown from the inner room and hit the far wall hard enough to crack the dry wall. He wasn't out but he was dazed and wasn't going to be getting up for the moment which meant he was on his own for the time being.

"If your going to come in, I would do so soon. I don't have all day," a deep voice told him from inside the room.

Making his way to the room, John made sure he looked relaxed. He didn't want to give the impression that he was a push over. The first rule in these situations was to never let them see you sweat. Placing his hands in his pocket, we waltzed into the room like he owned the place, trying to keep his fear down.

Sitting on a couch, John saw a man leaning over a coffee table shuffling a deck of tarot cards. He had shoulder length grey hair and had a face like leather. Even though he was hunched over, there was no mistaking the fact that the man was tall. There was power coming off of him with such strength that the air surrounding him crackled and sparked with it every so often. Every movement he made was slow and fluid. It was as if time was something that other people had to worry about and as far as John knew, maybe this guy really didn't have to worry about it.

Giving the room a quick survey, John noticed a few mystical trinket's, candles here and there, and a bookcase that apparently couldn't decided if it actually held books or not. The books would appear and disappear at random and sometimes even change what books where in what place or change the book all together. There was one, or rather two, other thing that stood out in the room. A pair of girls where attached to the far wall. From the look of it they couldn't have been more then maybe fourteen and they didn't seem to mind their position. Both had their eyes closed and where squirming about in ways that made John think wrong thoughts. If they knew the price they where actually paying he doubted they would be in this place. Then again, the price never seemed to matter all that much to most people no matter what their age.

Making sure his face was blank, giving no indication about his own personal thoughts on the two girls, John turned to face Rack.

Rack was staring at him, on side of his mouth curled up as he continued to shuffle his cards. "You're a long way from home, son of Lilith. I can't say I'm very happy to see you, though. Those where two very good doormen and now it looks like I'll have to replace them."

"I've seen better," John sniffed.

Rack chuckled, the sound deep and resonated off the walls. "I'm sure you have. It does, however, raise the question of why you felt the need to come in here like you did. I would never turn away anyone as...desperate as yourself."

"And what makes you think I'm desperate?"

"Because, John Taylor, son of Lilith, you are not where your supposed to be. Pulled away by that damn spell and thrust into the body of a rather ordinary, though significant, boy. I can tell just by looking at you the fight going on between the two essences.

"Besides, I've spent some time in the Nightside. I know what you look like, what you really look like. I'm amazed that anybody's been falling for it, to be honest," Rack finished and started laying a pattern down with the cards. The movements where deliberate and he took his time placing each card in the place he wanted.

"Good, you know who I am and you know what I can do which means I don't have to start breaking things to prove my point. You also know that I'm not in a good mood and it would probably be in your best interest not to make me upset before I start getting testy.

"Word is you have the kind of power to pull this stunt off. We both know you didn't pull the mystical trigger but you could have damn well loaded the gun. Now I want to know everything you know about this before I get violent. Suddenly and all over the place," John stopped talking and noticed that he was breathing hard and his hands where balled into fist. The fear was gone from him, leaving him only with his barely contained anger.

Rack didn't bother to look up or stop what he was doing. He still sat there, leaning over the table and laying out his tarot pattern. John doubted that he was even slightly rattled by his tirade. The silence went on for a minute before John got fed up and started toward Rack with the intent of hurting him till he got the information he wanted. He made within three steps of Rack when the man raised his hand, sending John hurling back till he hit the wall beside the door and stayed stuck up there. Painfully.

Rack spread his fingers apart and John's limb's did the same thing till John thought they might snap right off. "I always did think those stories about you had been a bit exaggerated," Rack said turning back to the cards, leaving John pinned to the wall. "That isn't to say you don't have power. Anyone who comes near you can tell you've got power. In spades, even. But, you don't use it to it's full potential. If you did, you wouldn't be up there on my wall, now would you?"

Gritting his teeth against the pain, John said, "I'll show you power, you third rate stage magician," When he tried to raise his gift to find the spell holding him to there, he was met with the equivalent of static inside his head as pain receptors throughout his body opened. It was too intense to scream, though God knew he wanted to. There wasn't anyway for him to describe what he was feeling. No point of reference he could use as a comparison. It was pure and simple pain and it coursed through every nerve inside of him and he felt it in the very core of his being. Needless to say, he lost all concentration.

"I probably should have warned you about that," Rack said. There wasn't any malice or humor in his voice. It was a simple statement. Almost as if he actually thought he should have mentioned it to him.

If John could have said something threatening or even sarcastic, he would have. At the moment, however, he was content to stay attached to the wall and get his bearings back. His vision swam for a moment but otherwise he was physically fine, as far as he could tell. Whatever mystical attack Rack had hit him with didn't seem to do any physical damage to him. It didn't make it hurt any less but at the moment it was the only good news he had.

"Now I wouldn't try to use that famous gift of yours again. It wont kill you, but it will make you wish it had," Rack looked up and studied John. He must have stared at him for nearly five minutes and throughout it, neither of them said a word.

It creeped the hell out of John but he was lucky enough to still be feeling some of the residual pain so he didn't even have to bother trying to hid it. He was too busy with other things, like pain, to show any fear. He was a professional, mind you. Besides, it didn't really matter. Rack was the type who could probably sense fear before you even had enough sense to know to be afraid. Suddenly the fact that he was hanging there on the wall, helpless, didn't make for comforting thoughts.

Rack finally stood up and made his way over to the two girls on the opposite wall. John had almost forgotten they where there and didn't like the way Rack was looking at them. He tried to struggle against the spell but he didn't even move an inch. At least it didn't send pain shooting though him again.

"Relax. They aren't being hurt. They enjoy it, in fact. In here, I let them feel things that they could only dream about. They get to...wriggle in the throws of ecstacy that no mortal could ever give them. The magic here can do wonders," Rack told him. He reached out his hand and red bolts of energy shot out and hit one of the girls. She cried out, but it was definitely not due to pain. The look on Rack's face as she did so was enough to make John sick with anger.

"And all it cost them is their innocence and a bit of there souls," John spat. His throat was dry and the words came out slightly hoarse but he managed to get them out.

Breaking contact, Rack turned back to face John. "Right, because no one ever willingly sells their souls in the Nightside. If that's your attitude I'm amazed you survived as long as you have there. I would have head back there myself but business was never as good there as it is here, what with all the competition and all. That and Walker never seemed to approve of me whenever I did show up. But, better a big fish in a small pond. Also, the Hellmouth does offer some advantages."

"Like turning a bunch of kids into monsters or are you going to tell me that they knew what they where getting into as well?"

"You really think I had something to do with this, don't you? I'm insulted! This, what happened tonight, is total chaos. You can ask anyone you like, I don't mix well with chaos. I prefer to be able to predict what's coming. I mean, the cards and the very air itself speak to me. It's how I knew you where coming, John."

Outside in the waiting room a sound like a mix between a growl and a yell was heard. A half second later Spike came charging in with the promise of murder and pain shining in his yellow vampire eyes. Completely unfazed by the interruption, Rack raised his left hand lazily, sending more of his red lightening out at Spike. Instead of tossing him right back out into the waiting area, the magic took hold of him and tossed him head first into the wall and came within inches of hitting John. Spike landed in a heap right under Johns feet and didn't get up.

"A bit impulsive, isn't he?" Rack said shaking his head. "Now, where were we?"

"You where trying to convince me that you hade nothing to do with this whole mess," John told him. If he could keep him talking then he stood a better chance of being able to think of a way out of this. He didn't dare try and use his gift, knowing full way what would happen. No, this time he was going to have to rely on his wits, cunning and a whole lot of luck.

Rack smiled slightly. "If I was involved, do you really think I would have let someone like you in here? This was sloppy spell work and poor planning. Either that or Rayne really just didn't give a damn."

"Rayne?"

"The little chaos mage responsible for this nights entertainment," Rack spat. "At least he's the one who performed this little bit of magic. It's a bit more complicated then just someone having some fun, but what isn't complicated these days?"

'Damn it,' John thought. He had hoped that Rack had been the one pulling the strings, but that would have been to simple. He was pretty good at spotting liars and Rack seemed to be speaking the truth. So, someone named Rayne was the one who performed the magic but there was someone else pulling strings. Someone who had wanted this to be done for some specific reason, whatever that may be. None of this really helped him in his current situation, mind you. He was still stuck to a wall in some crazed warlocks magic drug den.

"I know what your thinking. If you keep me talking then you might get out intact, right? Don't worry about that. If I had wanted you dead then you and your friend would be a smudge in the carpet the moment you set foot in here.

"No, John Taylor, son of Lilith, I want you to live and I want you to go out there and fix this. I told them it was a bad idea for a reason. Chaos magic on the Hellmouth? That's just asking for trouble. But then you add in Rayne and things go from bad to worse. You can't trust a man like Rayne. Besides, all of this is bad for business. Halloween is usually such a busy night for me."

"Well, can't have that, can we?" John said, rolling his eyes. He was back on familiar ground though. Sure, this guy was powerful in his own right and was a certifiable sociopath and pedophile but this was about money, first and foremost. Maybe it was food or fuel he got from his customers. Either way, this was something he could deal with.

"That's what I came here for," John told him. "I'm already working this case and the trail led me here. Thought you might know something that might prove useful."

Rack stepped closer, a smile playing across his face again. "Is that so? And just who might this client of yours be? You haven't been here long enough for anyone to hire you, even if they knew who you really were. Especially not the vampire on the floor and I don't think the ghost outside my place could give you any kind of compensation."

John gritted his teeth at the less then subtle remark about Willow. Both a reaction from the over protective voice in his head as well as his own feelings about the red headed teenager. Other then clenching his jaw, John made sure his face didn't betray his emotions. No matter what, he couldn't let Rack see that he could rattle him. It would be all over for him. That and it would be bad for his reputation.

"My client prefers to stay anonymous. I'm a professional," John told him, his voice calm and relaxed.

Rack continued to stare at him, the smile never leaving his face. The moment, it seemed, passed and Rack only shrugged slightly. "Can't blame a guy for trying. Besides, either way your doing what I want so who am I to complain? It's a win-win for me."

"It's going to be a bit hard for me to do anything what with me being attached to this wall and all," John told him. Something was bugging him about this. It was too...easy. Maybe it was paranoia and his life in the Nightside talking but it nothing was ever easy and people where always looking to screw you over if they could better themselves or even just get away with it. So, while he was up there he prepared himself for the other shoe to drop. But all that happened was rack lifting his hand in his lazy fashion and John dropped to the floor, thankfully not tripping on Spike as he landed.

After righting his coat, John rolled his shoulders in an attempt to let out some of the stiffness. He hadn't been up there long but even just a few minutes with your limbs stretched out like that can cause some lingering pain and soreness for days. Eying Rack as he stood there, John seriously considered punching the man but decided against it. He doubted he would make contact and it would probably end with another session of frying his nervous system. Sighing, John bent down to pick spike off the floor but was stopped by Rack grabbing his shoulder in a strong grip.

"Now, there is one more thing, though. It would be a terrible loss to have you here and not take a look for myself, even if your not exactly yourself at the moment," Rack said. "So, let's have a peek, shall we?"

Before John could react, Rack shoved his palm onto John's chest. Whatever was supposed to happen, John doubted that this was it. Rack's face contorted with pain as magic ran across his arm into John's chest and back out again. Pain may have been on his face but fear was in his eyes. The kind of fear that is real and tangible and utterly it's own. John didn't deny himself the small moment of glee in watching the man's pain and terror. He deserved this and so much more. But, he couldn't dwell on it because again, John found himself unable to move any part of his body.

He tried his arms, legs, even his eyes but nothing would obey his command. The same magic that was hurting Rack was preventing him form moving. While John himself wasn't feeling any pain, or actually anything at the moment for that matter, the voice inside of his head was screaming. There where no words or even sound as John knew it but all the same, he knew that the host body's mind was screaming out in pain and for help. Unfortunately, there wasn't a thing he could at the moment. He couldn't even raise his gift, not that he was going to try it.

Then, just like that, the spell was over. John fell to his knee, panting despite himself. Quickly, he got up and found Rack sprawled on the couch, blood flowing freely from his nose and his now split lip. John then noticed Spike standing next to him looking ready to spring on the warlock and beat him to a pulp.

"Impulsive my ass," Spike growled. "Do you know how hard it was not to kill him while you two where talking? I think the bastard just gets off on hearing himself talk," Spike said, turning to John.

"So being tossed about like a rag doll was all part of your plan then?"

"Damn straight. Luring him into a false sense of security was all," Spike said. He then shrugged at the disbelieving look John gave him. "Well, either way he's down. I would say we should just kill the wizard if I was sure he wouldn't just come back. Folks like him have a nasty habit of not staying dead."

John shook his head, "He didn't have anything to do with this. Someone by the name of Rayne did it but there's someone even higher up. Someone who wanted all of this to happen with a specific purpose but I'll be damned if I know what it is."

"Yea, I was awake for that little chat you know. But he's still our best lead. There's got to be more then what he told you. I say we torture him a bit till he tells us everything he knows and then some. I think between the two of us we could come up with some really fun ways to make him scream," Spike grinned, his face morphing into his game face.

"Tempting, but no. We need to do this the old fashion way, I think," John said looking around for anything of interest. He was never good at noticing clues but one could always hope.

"Tortures old fashion," Spike said.

Before John could reply, the sound of movement was heard behind them. Both Spike and John turned and found the vampire doormen where getting to their feet. Further behind the two beaten vampires, the strung out users where starting to take notice of what had happened inside Rack's den. Spike growled threateningly while John fixed them with a hard look and within moments the entire waiting area had run out without a single look behind them.

Letting out a throaty laugh towards the ceiling, Spike grinned. "You are going to do wonders for my reputation, mate. It almost makes me happy I didn't kill the whelp when I had the chance. Hey, you sure you don't want to torture him even a little?"

Ignoring the question, John walked past the couch, and Rack, over to the opposite wall. With Rack's concentration gone, the spell holding the two girls up to the wall and in their own little magic filled world had ended. Both where now on the floor with their legs curled up underneath them. They still looked like the effects of the spell weren't completely gone but they were wearing off quickly.

Clapping his hands and snapping his fingers a few times trying to get their attention. "Hey! You two, listen up. I want you to go home and get there fast. The monsters aren't playing by the rules tonight."

Neither of them showed any sign of understanding his words. When they didn't so much as budge, John grabbed them both by the scruffs of their necks and hauled them to their feet. Once he was sure they weren't going to fall down again he let go, reached into one of his coats inner pockets and withdrew two small packets. Quickly, he tore it open, dumped the contents into his hand and tossed it at the girls, making sure the dark powder hit both of them in the faces. Within seconds, the girls started sneezing and wiping their now red, puffy and tear filled eyes.

"Now, get out and don't ever come back," John said sternly. He watched the pair run off, still sneezing and crying.

A few seconds passed before Spike broke the silence. "Pepper?!"

John shrugged, "You'd be amazed at how many spells and trances that stuff will get a person out of. Never leave home without it. Besides, have you ever tried Alex's bar snacks? You need a pound of the stuff to subdue it enough to kill it before you can eat it."

Spike shook his head. "Alright then, what's next? I'm sure there's bound to be more people to tussle with who won't go down as easy as this wanker."

"We hit the streets. Ask around in large and violent ways. I'm sure somebody will be willing to talk," John said heading for the door. Again, he was stopped when Rack grabbed his arm as he passed.

"Not human! No one could be. Stained! The one who sees has had his eyes opened. You have-" Rack was cut off by Spike kicking him in the face. His eyes closed and he fell off the couch. For good measure, Spike kicked him one more time in the head, making sure he was down.

"See? I told you we should have tortured him," Spike said smugly.

"Yea, well, now he's out cold so he wont be saying anything for a while. Come on, we're wasting time in this dump." John started for the door.

"Another one of your nicknames, oh king in waiting?" Spike asked, following him.

Shaking his head, John gripped the doorknob that would lead them outside. "Not one that I know about, but then again he just went crazy."

Truth was, he was trying to sort out what the warlock had said. The rambling of a lunatic didn't always mean nonsense, especially if it's due to some mystical blow out. He had said something about 'the one who sees' which could have meant him but John doubted it. If anything, the 'not human' bit was about him. So that meant that he was somehow tied up with someone who saw but saw what, exactly. It may prove useful if he could work it out but riddles had never been his thing. Straight forward was his way and riddles had a nasty habit of being to circular for his taste. Still, it was something to think about.

Opening the door, the two stepped out into the alley and John could tell something was off. Willow was standing in the middle of alleyway looking frantic and frightened. She wasn't moving, just staring at him with wide, pleading eyes. No, not at him. She was staring at something behind him. That was all the warning he had before the sound of squealing tires came from the opposite end of the alley. Since he was used to these types of split second situations, John was able to nimble jump aside and succeeded in landing painfully on his knees and hands but considered himself lucky as he managed to avoid being hit by a black van that had been gunning for him. Spike, who either didn't worry so much about being hurt or just wasn't to quick to put things together, wasn't so lucky. As he dove, John saw the van slam into the vampire, sending him flying.

Before he was able to get to his feet, the van had stopped and two vampires got out of the back followed by another from the passengers side and that shark looking demon from the bar, who got out of the drivers seat. With speed John couldn't hope to match, the vampires reached his defenseless self and started hitting him. John didn't even try to fight back as the attack started, knowing it would be useless to do so. They weren't going to kill him, that he knew. If they had wanted him dead then they wouldn't have bothered with the beat down they were giving him. No, they wanted to hurt him and they where doing a good job of it too. The only thing he could do at the moment was to curl himself into a ball and protect his head as much as he could.

The last thing he saw was Willow standing there. Still unmoving except her face. Her face and her eyes showed her as what she was, despite how she looked. And that was of a young woman on the verge of breaking down. Then, John saw nothing but darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**_OK, so it's been more then a week but I tried. I'm both happy and disappointed with this chapter but after going over it a few times I decided to leave it as is. The next chapter is up and started already so it shouldn't take _that_ long for it to be up, barring any hell Gods or work related issues. Enjoy.

'_Well, this is unexpected,' _John thought surveying his surroundings. This was a lot better then what he had expected when he passed out from the beating he had taken. Usually he would wake up in a tremendous amount of pain and disorientation. He wasn't even laying on the floor but had come to standing up. Nothing hurt and in fact, he felt better then he had in a long time. All the weariness had disappeared as well as the physical discomfort of being beaten by strong, yet thankfully unskilled, vampires working him over. Then, a thought hit him. If he didn't feel anything, there had to be a reason and nothing he could come up with seemed like a good thing.

Quickly he took in the area and noticed that he was in a small library. It wasn't that small, actually, but compared to the one in the Nightside it was minuscule. There were several long wooden tables in front of him. Over to his left was a cage of some kind that seemed to be part of the library. Nothing else struck him as odd, though. Bookshelves lined with books and not much else. A small office was off to the right behind a counter but nothing seemed to jump out at him as being strange.

As he started to walk around, he caught his refection in the mirror and stopped. He was himself. Not the body of some poor teenage kid on the Hellmouth but his own body with it's almost permanent frown set into it. He looked a bit more alert then what he usual saw in the mirror, but still, it was him. If this was the afterlife, he was seriously going to have some questions for whichever side he made it too about why the waiting room was a bloody library. Maybe there was such a long wait that they decided to skip magazines and just give you three thousand copies of War and Peace. Though if that was the case, he didn't even want to know what hell might be like.

"It's not hell but it's a close second," someone called out from over near the tables.

Spinning around, John faced the body that he had been inhabiting for the past few hours. He most definitely wasn't there a few moments ago and this automatically put him on the defensive. It came as a surprise though when he was faced with the body he had been in. Not just the body, but the kid himself. He was just sitting there, dressed exactly how John was, the white trench coat and everything.

Relaxing, but only by a bit, John asked, "Care to explain where we are then?"

The kid didn't look at him. He seemed nervous and there was a wild look in his eyes when he did glance over at him. "Wish I knew. Last thing I knew was I..._you_ where getting some kind of magic whammy attack by that Mr. Wizard."

"You don't remember anything after that? I mean, I heard you screaming inside my head but didn't think you passed out being you where just some disembodied voice or what have you. That was you, right?"

The kid, Xander was the name Willow had called him, stood up slowly and started pacing. Like a small, frightened animal would as he tried to figure a way out. Something had this kid spooked and it was causing John to tense up again.

"Something happened afterwards? Of course, something always does. Damn it!" Xander yelled and jumping up, knocking over his chair in the process. When John made a move to get closer to him, he backed up and finally looked him in the eyes. "Don't! Just...stay away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me, got it?"

Stopping short, John knew instantly what it was that had the kid spooked. It was all over his face, his movements and, finally, in his eyes. Something had made him so scared that he was starting to lose it. A slight tick had started to form in the kids left eye, making him look even more twitchy then he was. But, the thing that stopped John is because he realized that it was him that was causing the reaction in Xander.

Standing there John noticed that despite Xander's obvious fear, the boy still looked him in the eye without flinching, once he finally did look him in the eye that is. He may have wanted to run away but he didn't break contact which gave him a leg up on pretty much anybody who knew anything about him. Most people that knew his reputation or had dealings with him never looked him in the eyes. The few that had where either completely mad or had way more power then he ever would, at least, those that had survived it anyway. Yet, here was some kid who was only a vanilla human as far as he could tell and was unflinching in his gaze.

"Alright, then. So, where are we exactly?" John said, making sure he didn't move closer to Xander.

"Looks like the library," Xander answered.

John shot him a 'don't-get-smart' look and said, "Yes, we're in a library. Does that mean anything to you? You seem pretty comfortable here."

Xander shook his head and chuckled, "Oh no. Don't try going on all detective on me, John. I know your tricks. Keep them talking and you might get an answer. Rule one of being a detective, right? Although, I think 'Don't go after the Maltose Falcon' might be up there too, right? Besides, I really don't know anything."

The way Xander had said that he knew John's tricks had some kind of deeper meaning to it. The Maltose Falcon comment also unnerved him a bit. There was a weight in the words that resonated inside of John's head. An awful feeling that the kid didn't just know about John and what he did but that he _knew_ John on a much more personal level. The kid was just giving him a taste of that fact but it was still there and it was solid.

"Care to explain that one? You and me have never met till just now. Trust me, I would remember coming to a place like this and meeting you and your people," John looked around some more, idly trying to make out some of the titles on the shelves to give the air of calmness about him.

Xander let out a breath and fell back into a chair. "I was stuck in here till you and Spike went to see that wizard guy. Yea, what the hell was that anyway? _Spike?_ What the hell where you doing with Spike? Couldn't you have just, I don't know, staked him and put him out of our misery?"

"I needed him. Simple as that. Focus here, though. What do you mean you where here? You've been sitting in a library this whole time?" John said. He walked over to the closest bookcase and squinted at the titles. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make any of them out and most didn't have anything written on them in the first place. Picking one up at random, he opened it and stared as page after page where as blank as the cover.

"Man, you would think that after all these years you would be able to figure something like this out," Xander scoffed.

John snapped the book shut and turned to Xander. "We're in your head. You got shoved aside when this happened, didn't you? You've been inside here the whole time."

"Really, ya think?" Xander said, giving him a look then shrugged. "More or less, yea. I don't know why it's the schools library. Maybe it's one of those subconscious things or whatever. Bad things happen, run to the library. Fat lot of good that did me," Xander sighed, muttering, "Stupid brain."

John was more then a bit lost. Everything tonight kept going from strange to down right bizarre. How the hell was it that he was stuck in Xander's mind? It was understandable that the kid was stuck in here but why him? It wasn't as if he didn't have his own mind to go into when he got knocked out which, admittedly, had never happened. Not the getting knocked out part, that happened more often then he liked. But every time it happened he would just go dark and wake up somewhere else. Not once did he ever retreat into a safe zone inside of his head. Hell, he doubted there was such a thing for him in his mind.

"What did you mean by 'more or less'? Did you go anywhere else at anytime?" John asked.

Xander was silent. Something had happened that the boy didn't want to talk about. Maybe it had something to do with why he was so afraid. Maybe it wasn't just John that was putting the kid off. There where too many damn maybe's and not enough solid answers or leads.

"It may be tough, but I need you to talk to me here, kid. If you want to get out of this, and God knows I want to get back home, then your going to have to start talking," John said, trying his best to be comforting. If he didn't play this right he could cause the kid to clam up even more.

"Not much of a home left to go back to, is there?" Xander said softly.

John raised an eyebrow, "What was that?"

Looking back up, Xander said, "There isn't a whole lot left there, is it? Lilith did a number on the whole place. You did too, but it's not really your fault. At least that's how I see it."

"How the hell do you know about that?" John said, surprise evident in his voice. So far everyone here might have known about his mother, which didn't make a lick of sense to him, but they where all slow on actually news from the Nightside. Most had only heard about the Angel War and had no knowledge of his mothers return and the war that had ensued. Yet, this kid who, if Willow was right, had no knowledge of who he dressed up as and therefor no knowledge of who he was, just talked about a war that had ended only a few hours before he got sucked into this mess.

Xander just stared at him in response. There was a defiant look in his eyes, at what though, John couldn't tell. No malice or hate was there, just determination to fight back against...something. His fear was evident in his body language but his eyes showed something else now. Sadness, was there as well. He was feeling sad for him, which raised all sorts of questions and none of which would probably make him feel any better. Complicated didn't even begin to describe the emotions playing in this kids eyes.

"How do you know what happened?" John asked, the edges of his voice hardening with each word. It seemed to do the trick, though. Xander flinched back a bit but remained steady as he spoke.

"It was...that spell or whatever the hell Rack did. I...something happened to me," Xander started. He paused and looked John straight in the eye before saying, "I saw your life, John. All of it."

A bit taken back, John didn't respond right away, trying to absorb what he had said and make sense of it. Deciding that he couldn't he asked, "Care to explain that one?"

For whatever reason, that seemed to open the dam that Xander had placed upon his words and he started talking fast and hurriedly. "I don't know. I really don't know, John. It was like I was there, as if I was you, if that makes any sense. I saw and heard and felt everything you ever did. I know it all, too. It's as if I was just sitting inside of your mind as everything went on. It makes no sense!

"I know about Dead Boy and Cathy and Alex. I know all about Suzie, it's about damn time by the way. Don't screw that up, John. Never mind what that would do to her but I don't think you'd live to regret it. Seriously, Suzie scares the shit out of me.

"I was there from the beginning some how. I was there as you grew up. I know how it felt to watch your father drink himself to death. How it felt when you found out that Walker and the Collector knew your father and didn't bother to do a damn thing to help him or you. Everything you've ever done, everything you ever felt or thought...I was there. Trapped inside your head, screaming to get out. I couldn't stand it...how the hell did you survive in that place, John? How did you ever remain sane in the Nightside?"

John, for all of his professional years and all his life in the Nightside, did what no one like him should ever do. His calm and tough appearance fell and he collapsed into a chair, his brain shut down for a moment. Xander, taking that as a cue to continue for some reason, kept on talking.

"It was the strangest and most frightening thing I've ever been through and I've seen some pretty weird things as of late. Why the hell did you ever go back there? I mean, London was shitty for you, I know, but...damn it, John! I...I don't know what the hell that place was, half the time. You just kept pushing and pushing and pushing your way through. Running head long into things that would send most people running in the opposite direction.

"Oh, and by the way, thanks a lot for jumping into the demon from another dimension back at the Necropolis. There wasn't anything special about you with that one, John. I had to fight the damn thing off to keep from being pushed out and destroyed."

Shaking his head, Xander spoke softly. "John...what the hell is going on here. Everything that I saw ended with you sitting down at Alex's place with a bottle of that wormwood crap in front of you, waiting for Suzie to get back from the bathroom. Before that, I was getting glimpses of what you where doing in my body and that ended with Rack's whole 'take a look' thing."

Still, John just sat there. It was too personal what the boy knew. He hadn't said anything about what his specific thoughts or feelings where or some of his more darker moments but John knew that the kid knew about them. The demons at the cemetery had happened some time ago, back when he was working a case after not being back in the Nightside for too long. Only Dead Boy had been there at the time but a few people had heard the story, which was fine by him since it only added to his mystique. But his relationship with Suzie had only just happened, if you could call it a relationship.

He sapped. It angered John that someone had been present during all of those close, personal moments between him and Suzie. That some kid from the Hellmouth shared all of those and every other part of his life without him knowing set his blood on fire. He wanted to grab the kids neck and squeeze till his eyes popped out of his head but that wouldn't solve anything. At the same time, he was sorry for him. John had been through and done some pretty bad things in his life and it wasn't the kids fault that he had been subjected to it. It was this place, the Hellmouth. It screwed up everything it touched and no one ever took that into account when they came here.

"I didn't want to be there. I tried everything I could think of to get out of your head but it didn't work. After a while...I just gave up and sat back. I thought I had died or something. I just lived thirty years in your head, in...in the Nightside, for Christ sake! I'm not like you, John. I can't survive in a place like that," Xander told him. He wasn't about to cry but it was a close thing that he didn't break right then and there.

Standing up, John fixed him with a hard look which shut him up. "We're going to get out of here. Then, we are going to find every single person responsible and we're going to introduce them to meaning of the words pain and suffering. Do you understand me?"

"Yea, that's easy to say. Hell, you've gotten out of worse things then this but you've had backup most of the time. Spike's out cold on the floor still, am I right? Willow's outside of Rack's and couldn't do anything if she wasn't anyway. We _might_ have had help from Giles if _someone_ hadn't punched him out," Xander shot at him. Thinking seemed to clear his head and get him back on track which John was grateful for.

Shaking his head, John grinned like a shark. "We aren't in Rack's place anymore. Got ambushed when we left though. That's why I'm here, I guess. Got knocked after taking a beating from a few vampires. Spike was hit by a van and I don't think he's going to be much help. I think Willow might be under some kind of a spell of some sort. She was just standing there, unmoving. It wasn't natural."

"Some kind of necromancer, maybe?"

"Maybe. Wouldn't be that hard to find someone like that in this town with even a little power over the dead."

"Alright, so why are you happy? I get that you seem to like these situations and all but none of this is really helpful, is it?"

John grinned even wider. Nastier. "All that time in my head and you can't figure it out?" he said, throwing Xander's own words back at him.

Watching realization dawn on Xander was priceless. Though it was a bit off putting to see a grim smile that matched his own on the kids face. "Do you think it'll work?"

"No reason why it shouldn't. Besides, I think it'll be fun, don't you?"

The two smiled at each other and began to set the plan in motion.

_**BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK **_

The second time John woke up, it was a lot less pleasant then the first. Pain greeted him as reality took form. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the pain he had experienced, but still, it was pain none the less. Testing his teeth, well, Xander's teeth, with his tongue he was glad to see that he hadn't lost any though a few where slightly loose. Flexing his muscles, he realized that he was bound to a chair with his hands tied behind his back. That didn't matter, not really. Everything was set to go and all he had to do was not die. That was easy enough.

After a brief and limited check of his body he found that there was nothing that couldn't be repaired or would kill him. A few cracked ribs which made breathing a bit stressful, but not nearly as bad as it could be. Two of his fingers where broken and his face felt like one giant bruise. It was bad enough that one eye was completely swollen shut which made looking around more then difficult. All in all though, it could have been a lot worse. The rest of his body was hurting from varies cuts and deep bruising but no vital organs where harmed. He could work with this.

From what he could see, he was sitting in what looked like a generic basement. The walls where made of rough cinder blocks with pipes running along them. The sound of water dripping somewhere in the room was a dead give away as to it being a basement. It was all John could do not to laugh at the cliche but that may have also been the endorphin's running through his system more then the humor of the situation.

Being careful not to draw any attention to himself, John started looking around to get a better idea of what he was dealing with. Off to his right was a door which looked like it could withstand a bomb going off in front of it. Heavy duty steal if not something stronger. Probably warded as well if these people where serious, which he had no illusion about them not being. Still, there wasn't a guard by the door which meant they didn't expect anyone to be able to get out from this side.

It took a bit of stretching to see to his left since that was the eye that was swollen, but he was able to make out that there was someone else in the room with him. The guy was also tied to a chair and looked like he had gone ten rounds with something big and mean. Still, with all the bruising John was able to recognize him from what he had glimpsed back in the costume shop. Ethan Rayne. The bastard that John was holding responsible for all of this. Well, him and whoever the hell hired him for this. If it hadn't been for the door opening at that moment, John wondered if he wouldn't have tried to get out of the chair and kill the man even if he was out of it.

But, the door did open and two vampires walked in looking around the room and then focused on John. One of them nodded to someone beyond the door and in walked a middle aged man. There wasn't anything special about him, from what he saw. He was wearing suit and was talking pleasantly on a phone but all the while he was giving the room a look of distaste. If someone had stuck a bowler hat on his head John would almost mistake him for a Walker stand in. He had that easy air about him that said he thought nothing could touch him. The only difference is that Walker had style.

The man, grinning even while he looked on in disgust, said his good-byes and clicked the phone off. "Hello there! I'm glad to see that they didn't go over board with you. I was starting to wonder if they might have when you didn't wake up for a while. I mean, you try to teach them the right way to do things but, boys will be boys."

A chill ran down John's spine as the man grinned at him. There was mirth in it, but it didn't seem as if it was from the situation but more as if it was some genuine giddiness that the man had. It was down right unnerving. He wasn't happy from what was going on he was just...happy.

When John didn't respond, the man went on again. "Now, I really must apologize for keeping you down here in the basement. I would have done this in my office but you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get blood out of the carpet. Believe me, we have tried everything!" he chuckled slightly, then his face sobered slightly. "Not to mention the fact that you turned down my invitation to you early tonight, I'm told. Really now. Why would you go and do a thing like that? That's just down right impolite and I tell you I wont stand for it. I thought your mother would have raised you better then that. Well, maybe not your mother."

John tensed at that. The Cheerful Man, as John had started to call him in his head, knew not only who he was but was talking about his mother with a very specific tone of voice. Could it be that he knew who she really was? Was this one of the few people that actually knew what had happened in the Nightside recently and the war with Lilith? Playing along was probably best since it would not only keep him talking but if for some strange reason he actually did know anything, he might be able to learn it before he got out of here.

"What would you know about my mother?" John said, his voice was dry and it came out rough.

Mr. Cheerful smiled again and put his hands in his pocket. "I met your mother once. Wonderful woman, really she was. A bit final in some of her choices and a bit stuck in her ways but still. She was a family woman at heart and you just have to respect that. Why, some of her kids even moved here to Sunnydale, the little rascals."

This shocked John. He had thought that all of Lilith's children had stayed in the Nightside or had died off. But, it would only make sense if more of her children moved on and survived. Not everyone stays in the Nightside, not even the monsters. What would make them move away though? Where they weaker then the rest of their siblings? Maybe they couldn't hack it along side the rest of them and left before they where picked off. Or, and a much more distressing thought, maybe they had been to powerful for the rest of their kind. Maybe they had been forced to leave before they could get a foothold in as any kind of Power and Domination. It would explain why there are so few of Lilith's children left in the world if they died as a result of the fight.

Mr. Cheerful saw the thoughtful look on John's face but clearly misread it. "Yes, John. I know who your mother is and, unlike all of the others, I know the truth about who and what she is. I can tell you John. A man should know where he comes from if he's ever to find his place in the world. Family is essential to a man and you shouldn't be denied it, John. I can tell you who she was, help you find her maybe."

A moment passed as John and the Cheerful Man looked at each other. Then, that moment ended as John began to laugh. It started off low and soft but John quickly found himself unable to hold it back and laughed deep and hard. Tears began to run down his face from his one good eye and inside his head, John could tell Xander was having the same reaction. It felt good that someone else understood what was so funny, because the Cheerful Man certainly didn't. But, it was just so funny at the moment.

Here he was, tied to a chair on the Hellmouth of all places after defeating his mother and nearly destroying the Nightside, if not the world. He had traveled through time, took down more Powers and creatures then he had ever would have tried to go near, if he could have helped it. He risked creating a version of the future where he destroyed everything, not just the Nightside but the world, and all of it because he couldn't leave well enough alone when it came to his mother. Well, it didn't help that Lilith seemed to set the whole thing up but still. He nearly wiped out humanity and everything else because he wanted to find out who his mother really was and here was a man who was willing to just offer it up to him. John and Xander shared the private joke and nearly fell on the floor with hysterics despite being tied to the chair.

When John calmed down, he looked at Mr. Cheerful and grinned lazily. "Mommy dearest isn't around anymore."

To his credit, the man didn't miss a beat. "You know, that's a shame. She was a stand up lady. Lilith was one of a kind."

"Thank God for that," John said.

"Now, this is where the problem comes in, John. You seem like I nice young man. Maybe a bit rough on the outside, a bit...dirtier then most. But, like I said, you're a good man. An honest man which is so hard to find now in days." He nodded to one of the vampires who disappeared out of the room.

"See, I know about you John. It's hard to imagine anybody in our line of work _not_ knowing about you. I was going to offer you a deal. Consider it payment for services. You are a man for hire, aren't you? But that just doesn't seem possible. You kids make everything so darn difficult now in days. So instead, I'm afraid where going to have to do things a bit differently."

The vampire came back into the room holding what looked like a white, glowing crystal ball. He didn't look very comfortable with it as he held it in both hands, arms outstretched before him. Only a few feet behind him, Willow came walking with a look of despair on her face. She jerked suddenly and seemed to move suddenly to the right, following the vampire when he turned to come up next the Mr. Cheerful. John and Xander both came to the same conclusion that whatever the orb was, it seemed to be either controlling Willow or she was forced to be near it. If it was controlling her it would explain her inaction back in the ally before. There was definitely a bit of magic coming off the thing from what John could tell. He almost rolled his eyes as he heard Xander chime in with a sarcastic remark about it glowing and that he still had to test it to see if it was mystical.

John glared, as best as he could, at the Cheerful Man but it didn't seem to have any effect on him. The man shook his head and regarded John with an almost disappointed look.

"Come now, John. Don't try any of that with me. I may not look it but I've been around quite a bit longer then you and I've seen worse then you in my time. Now, here's what's going to happen. Your going to use that gift of yours to find someone for me that, for some reason that Mr. Rayne over there couldn't explain, didn't show up tonight. In exchange, we'll let your little friend here go, safe and sound. I give you my word. But, if you don't, well, finding a persons soul after it's been ripped into little shreds makes it a bit difficult, don't you think?" the Cheerful Man chuckled at that and waited for John's response.

Waiting a moment, he didn't hear anything he liked so he knew he had to keep this up for now. "Who? Who were you trying to bring here to this backwaters town?"

John smirked to himself while Xander shuddered slightly at the look that passed over their captures face at even the slightest hint of bad talk of the town. John didn't know the reason and Xander didn't seem to be offering any explanation but it was a small victory that John savored. But, the look was only fleeting and he started to talk again.

"I think you may be familiar with him actually. You don't need to know why I need him, just that I do. I tried sending some of my people into the Nightside to set up a meeting with him but none of them ever came back. Not surprising. I never much cared for the Nightside, really. Too...dirty. Unorderly," the man suppressed a shudder then moved on. "But, that's why we moved on to such drastic measures, even if they didn't work out exactly how we planned. Mr. Rayne here apparently was a bit too ambitious. Bit off more then he could chew, as it where."

Another person came into the room and shut the door. John couldn't help but stare at him for the get up he was in. Looking extremely nervous, the man who looked like he was more at home behind a desk in a suit and tie going over a budget was currently wearing sod, moss and painted on Celtic tattoos. In his mind, John could hear Xander yelp slightly, which would have been any sane persons response to who the man had dressed up.

"You see," the Cheerful Man went on. "I need you to find Merlin for me."

A moment passed in which no one said a word. The amusement of the situation passed and John was now worried. What was so important that they would try and call up Merlin Satanspawn? It was suicidal, which John should know after having several dealings with him.

"Are you mad or just stupid? Your trying to call upon Merlin? Merlin Satanspawn, the devils only begotten son just so you can try to ask him for what? Do you a favor? Answer a question? Even if you could get him here, which you can't, Merlin would turn you all into a gristly, wet spot on the floor," John told them, not even bothering to hid the contempt in his voice.

The man dressed up as the vessel for Merlin at least showed enough brains to be frightened. Cheerful, on the other hand, smiled a thousand watt smile. "Now, I don't see any reason Merlin would do that. I think he can be a very reasonable person when he wants to be. Provided, of course, that you have the right leverage."

"You think you have his heart," John said. It was a statement, not a question. He knew that they couldn't have it since Lilith had crushed it and effectively destroyed Merlins hold on this world. "Whatever you have, trust me, it's not his heart. And even if it was, how stupid would you have to be to give it to him? Especially here, of all places, on the Hellmouth. Besides, he's dead. No matter what you do, no matter who calls him forth, he isn't going to show up."

This seemed to make the smile waver from Cheerful's face, something John was more then happy to do. After all, pissing people off was just one of his many charms.

"Now, I'm going to give you a chance here. Break the spell, let me, this body and the girl go unharmed and I might just leave you all in one piece. If not...then I'm going to be very, very sore with the whole lot of you," John said, his voice dropped an octave, glaring hard at the Mr. Cheerful.

Maybe it was something of his reputation or in his voice at the moment but for whatever reason, the man took a step back and his smile vanished all together. He didn't look scared or shocked. Apprehensive would be better. As if he suddenly remembered that he wasn't dealing with a kid who had the attitude of himself but actual was him, John Taylor. Maybe knowing who and where he came from had something to do with it as well. But, it was there and John knew he had to push it.

That's when everyone heard it. A muffled shout and the sound of something being slammed at great speed and force into something solid. It was above them, the noise, but even so it was unmistakable. Someone was upstairs making a mess of things and all eyes, except for John's, looked at the ceiling. Cheerful looked back at John who met his gaze with a grim smile which he hoped looked frightening despite the battered face, the one eye swollen shut and the blood and spit that drooled out of the one side of his mouth.

"You still have a chance to walk away from this," John told him as the noise got closer and closer. It was only one floor above them at this point and it sounded like it was moving fast. Shouts and screams could now be heard along with the sound of several people running both to and away from the center of the disturbance. The place probably had security of the demonic kind, not that it would help any, John mused.

Suddenly, all of the noise from upstairs stopped. For a minute, it was blissfully quiet as no one dared to say anything choosing instead trying to listen to find out what was going on. Everyone jumped as the something slammed itself against the door leading to the room. Apparently it was reinforced and, if John had to guess, that included magical reinforcements as well as steel. But, still something slammed itself into it again this time causing the stone above it and around the door to give off dust. The third time it happened, the door bent inward slightly and everyone moved far away from it.

Then, just like that, it stopped. Cheerful motioned for the two vampires to check on the door and, while they did so, it was with great caution. The one handed off the orb to the moss covered man and the two started forward. They had their game faces on but looked more like rabbits ready to run. Which, if they knew who was on the other side of the door, they probably would have. Hell, any sane, and a lot of insane people as well, would have done just that but these two probably didn't have brain one between them. It always amused John how people of power tended to surround themselves with flunkies that couldn't think their way out of a paper bag but it certainly made his life a bit easier for him.

The two vampires where halfway to the door when it fly off it's hinges. Unfortunately for John, he wasn't lucky enough to have it take out any of his captures but thankful Willow was technically a ghost or else she would have been crushed. It wasn't just the door that fell apart but the wall it was attached to as well and as such dust and debris flew in as well, forcing everyone to shut there eyes.

"Damn hallway. Couldn't even manage a proper kick," a voice complained from just outside the room. Then, a man walked in and looked around and finally spotted John. He could understand how it might have taken him a moment since he didn't look like himself and the description he gave him didn't include him having gone ten rounds with a brick wall.

"John, there you are! Still keeping interesting company, huh? Slumming it on the Hellmouth, though? I thought you had a bit better class then that," the man spoke.

He was pale as a corpse and looked to be about seventeen, but that was only how he looked. He wore a great purple overcoat which was torn and bloodied in several places as well as the leather pants he wore. His curly black hair was also clumped with dirt and blood but none of it was his, that John knew. It must have been from his battle with the masses during the final run of the war. It hadn't been that long ago and he never did care that much about things like that.

"Nice of you to show up. Have any problems getting here?" John asked him, making sure to ignore everyone else in the room.

"Not at all. It never was much of a challenge for me to get anywhere. So, who do I get to

hit?" the pale man in front of him said before taking a swig from a whisky bottle he had been holding in his one hand.

John grinned and finished working on the knots on the ropes tying his hands to the back of the chair. Finally, they came free and he stood up flexing his hands and wrist. "Take your pick. Though I doubt that this will prove much of a challenge for us, do you?"

"Two vampires, a chaos mage and whatever the hell that guy is? Can't imagine it will, but you did promise me a case of Alex's good stuff so I'm not about to complain. You do know that he isn't entirely human, right? And that girl over there, she isn't dead. How in the hell did you manage that one?"

"Details, details," John muttered. "I'd like to introduce you all to a friend of mine. Everyone, meet Dead Boy."

Dead Boy smiled at them in turn. Before he started forward, he said, "Pleasure. Please feel free to put up a fight."


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:**_ Up well before I thought it would be. I'm happy with this chapter, it made me smile. I wanted to add in more for Dead Boy but just couldn't manage it. (Sorry RedHeadedReader, no Angel/Dead Boy meet ups this time) There are only about another chapter or two for this story but I do have plans to write a sequel to it. It works better that way instead of just keep writing things down in one giant story. Well, off I go (Whoosh!)

As far as plans went, it had been a good one. At least up there with the top ten of some of John's plans. Mostly that was because this one didn't resemble a suicide mission nearly as much as some of the stuff he had done. It amazed John that he hadn't thought of doing this before, but that was the beauty of this plan. It was so simple that it had eluded him due to all of the confusion that of the night. Xander had also agreed with him that it should work and wondered why neither one of them had figured it out earlier as well. It didn't mean a whole lot to John that the kid had thought much of the plan, but it was still something to have someone agree with him for once.

It wasn't as difficult as John thought to contact Dead Boy. It had taken a bit of time but once John realized that he didn't have to compete with any outside force trying to jump into his head, he fired up his gift while looking for a way to contact Dead Boy. Within a few moments he was talking to him through some dime store psychic that was wondering the streets of the Nightside. After explaining it to him a shortened version of what happened and what he needed, Dead Boy was on his way over to them. Dead Boy wasn't too happy about coming to the Hellmouth but had agreed to it after John promised to buy him a case of Alex's special brew which was guaranteed to strip the wall off a house. Not the paint, the wall itself. One of the construction companies in the Nightside actually ordered it by the drum when they where gutting some of the more extreme buildings in the Nightside. Only the most extreme sensations where felt by Dead Boy at this point and the stuff was expensive.

Xander and John had talked briefly about who they should ask to come and help them and decided that Dead Boy was there best bet. Razor Eddie had fallen through that trap door and no one had seen him since. Sure, he was a God and could take care of himself but it would slow anyone down. Besides, he would probably end up smiting the whole town on general principal. Suzie was vetoed by Xander on the count that she was likely to shoot anything and anyone who got in her way. It was true and it might help but not everyone out there was a demon or evil, not that it mattered much to Suzie one way or the other. Dead Boy was the only one that seemed like viable option. Besides, with his car he could be here in almost no time at all.

That had been the easy part of it though, which was saying something considering they weren't even sure if John would be able to find a way to get in touch with Dead Boy. The card to Strangefellows wouldn't work this far away from the Nightside and since they were in Xander's head they couldn't have reached it even if it would have worked. The hard part was coming up with a plan for getting out alive before Dead Boy showed up. So the old stand-by of have your captor talk himself to death was applied. You learned a lot that way plus it always gave you plenty of time to get out of a situation, or at least try. Not a single person in his experience could resist telling you just how smart they are once they had you in their mercy or at least they couldn't resist showing you how dumb they where by not just killing you outright if they didn't need you.

So, that's how after just a few moments of doing just that, John and Dead Boy now faced a genuinely surprised Mr. Cheerful, two baffled vampires and some poor pencil pusher covered in moss who was supposed to be the vessel to bring forth Merlin Satanspawn. Willow was there as well as the idiot Rayne, but she was friendly, as well as intangible, and he was still knocked out despite all the noise.

"You really should have let me go. I tried to give you a way out but no one ever knows when to just take good advice when it's there," John said. He was a bit shaky on his legs and the one hurt a bit but he was standing which was a good thing.

Mr. Cheerful blinked and looked at Dead Boy. "Dead Boy, he said, right? Well, this is certainly turning out to be one heck of a doozy. It would seem our Mr. Rayne had a theme going at his shop. I'll have to ask him how he managed it if he ever wakes up."

Dead Boy rolled his eyes and took another swig of his whisky. "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm the real deal. You can tell by how little patience I have. John, can't we just hit them already?"

"Not yet. I want to know how to break this damn spell. Then, we're going to have you release Willow and then we can beat them till they turn all shades of different colors," John said nastily.

"Is that all we're waiting for?" Dead Boy asked with a sigh. He looked at Willow, muttered a few words that no one seemed to understand and pointed his finger at her. Suddenly, Willow jolted forward as if someone had just moved a wall she had been leaning on. She stumbled to a halt, trying to brace herself on the moss covered man but her arm went threw him. Cheerful and the man looked down at the orb, which was still doing it's nightlight impression but whatever power it held over Willow was gone.

Everyone except for John gave Dead Boy a questioning look. John already knew that his friend knew more about the any and all forms of death and the dead and also knew quite a few tricks for both dealing with them and helping them.

"So, do we get to hit people now?"

John smiled, "Most definitely."

The vampires rushed forward, somehow thinking that now would they might get the jump on them despite having stood stock still since the door came flying off it's hinges. Slamming his fist into the closest one, he managed to hit him hard enough that his head came off, turning the once man now demon into dust. Deciding that it had been too quick of a fight, Dead Boy let the other vampire have a few swings at him and laughed at him the whole time. Little things like pain and death weren't a matter for him. He felt no pain and couldn't die, considering he was technically already dead. After letting the vampire see that it wasn't going to do any good, Dead Boy grabbed him by his neck and lifted him off the ground. Without bothering to pull his hand back, Dead Boy threw him with such force that when he hit the wall it cracked. The vampire fell to the floor, not getting up. Which made a lot of sense if you saw how bloody and broken he looked just from hitting the wall. John was fairly certain that one of his eyes had come loose from the

Willow turned away from the vampire, looking paler then a ghost normally should. She moved far away from they last two standing opponents and made her way behind John. She was shaken, which was to be expected but she also looked angry. It was a good sign, he thought. If she was able to get angry then she was still thinking straight enough. If you just started moving about and being afraid all the time, you where lost in his experience. He'd seen it happen to a lot of people and they never lasted long. Judging from the fact that Xander agreed with him, he had a feeling that Willow was made of stronger stuff.

Xander's voice was louder now then it had been before they met inside his head. It was something he knew that he would have to deal with later on, the fact that the kid knew, well, everything. John didn't even doubt for a second that he was telling the truth before. For whatever reason, Racks spell had thrust the kid into his head and either let him relive every moment of his life or, worse yet, back through time and inside of him. It was odd and unnerving, though everything tonight was. Either way, it was something to deal with later after all of this. He decided that right now he Mr. Cheerful and Rayne needed his undivided attention.

"Now, how the hell do we stop this mess? Answer me. Now," John demanded. He was through with being subtle. His head was killing him and his whole body felt like he went down a few flights of stairs that had been lined with broken glass. Still, he wasn't about to show weakness at this point. Cheerful was out of flunkies and he severely doubted that he had any real power. Not in any sense that would stop either himself and especially not Dead Boy.

Still, the man didn't so mush as flinch. Shaking his head, Cheerful said, "You kids today are so impulsive, you know? Now, John, how long do you think that boy your inhabiting will last once the spell ends, huh? Or the pretty young lady who's hiding behind you? Sure, you'll be safe and sound back in the Nightside but you've done a lot of damage here tonight in that young man's body. I mean, all the people that you've made angry while wearing his face," he faked a shiver and started talking again. "Well, let's just say that I wouldn't want to be him when this is over. Why, anything could happen to him. And his family. His friends. His neighbors. Why, there's no telling who could get hurt."

John wanted to smack himself for being so stupid as to not see this coming. He was right though. Once the spell was over, Xander would be left here and at Cheerful's mercy and he had no doubt that the man would lead anyone and everyone to his doorstep as well as Willow's. No, he wouldn't do it himself. He was someone who took care of things through other people. It made things easier that way, neater. There was nothing that he could do to stop that. Even if Dead Boy stayed to make sure that the two of them made it home OK, he would leave too and then what would the two do? Sure, they knew the Slayer but that didn't mean much with some of the things that where rumored to live on the Hellmouth.

So, there where only two options that Cheerful was presenting them with. Either do what he asked and try to find a way to bring Merlin here, despite the fact that he was dead and John wasn't even sure he could do it. Or, break the spell and know that Xander, Willow and whoever else Cheerful felt like would send a good message died because of John. Neither of the choices where pretty. So, John went with the third option which Cheerful didn't give them.

Reaching out with his gift, slowly at first so as to not draw any unwanted attention from anything that may be watching, John felt out for whatever magic it was that the man had. He knew there had to be something there. Even if he wasn't the hurling lightening bolts type of person, there was a reason why he demanded so much fear and following. Almost instantly he saw it. It was a part of him, something that was tied into his very being done so that it only looked that way. He was alive, which didn't seem to be all that special unless the fact that you counted that he had been this way for almost two hundred years. It wasn't all that new to John, but there was something else there as well. Something dark that tied it to him that John couldn't quite make out.

Looking a bit harder, which was difficult since he had to appear to be doing nothing, John was able to see the string of magic that held it altogether. There it was, as clear as anything else and it would be the simplest thing in the world for him to take that bit of magic and pull it out, killing the man. Or, at the very least, start him down the path to aging like someone normal. It wouldn't stop him from going after Xander and Willow, but it was the Ace he was looking for.

"No. Your going to leave them alone. Your going to never bother them again or anyone else they know. Your going to make sure they both lead long and very safe lives and do you know why? Because if you don't, then I'm going to come back here and I'm going to kill you," John told him, glaring at the man.

"Well, here's the thing, you can certainly try. Be my guest. But, I'm pretty sure that there are certain parties out there who are going to stop you. Who would love to put an end to you, as it where. I've made a lot of deals with some interesting people over the years and you might find that coming after me is a bit hard to do," Mr. Cheerful responded. His face was serious but there was a softness to it like he was talking to a child.

"I'm John Taylor, the hard man. I do the hard thing all the time," John said.

Dead Boy, who had been watching the two go back and forth with little interest let out a breath. "Enough of this," he muttered. Stepping forward with purpose, he pulled back his fist and was about to hit the Cheerful Man but stopped short when a someone entered the room and coughed politely.

Turning as one, minus Rayne who was still unconscious and tied to a chair, everyone looked at the doorway. John muttered a curse while Dead Boy glared and took a drink. Willow, the Cheerful Man, and the moss covered guy looked a bit confused, albeit less so in Cheerful's case. John didn't know how he did it, how he had managed to make it here to the Nightside after everything that had gone on and, more importantly, still command the attention of everyone in the room. Yet, there he was, dressed in a fresh city suit complete with bowler hat and spit shined shoes. Sure, he looked a bit tired and aged beyond his years, but it was still him. Walker. The man who ran the Nightside as much as anyone really could, though that would wait to be proven now.

He didn't say anything at first, choosing instead to give a disappointed look at everyone present, but made sure to tip his hat in Willow's direction. After giving the whole room a once over, Walker sighed and walked further inside. "It would seem that you can't even stay out of the Nightside and not cause me trouble, doesn't it John? Now, don't look at me like that. You really have to be more careful about who you use to contact people. Not to worry, though. That's all been taken care of.

"So, it would seem that we have a bit of a problem, am I right, Mr. Wilkins?" walker said addressing Mr. Cheerful.

"Well, it would seem that -excuse me- we do. I can only assume that these are your people?" Mr. Cheerful, or Wilkins as John had just learned, said as he stepped past Dead Boy. "I'm afraid that we haven't been introduced properly. Richard Wilkins, Mayor of Sunnydale."

Wilkins extended his hand only to have Walker look at it and walk past him. "I know who you are, Richard. A sad little man with sad little plans. You should know that the Authorities never forget a face. Or an agreement."

"What agreement?" John asked, stepping towards Walker.

"John, really now. Did you really think that the Nightside would allow something like the Hellmouth to go unchecked? It may be a tame kitten by your standards but, as you can attest, it is rather unpredictable. No, the Authorities wouldn't allow it to happen when just the slightest mishap here could threaten their power. So, we made a deal with Richard, here. In return for immortality and youth, he would make sure that the Hellmouth would never interfere in the affairs of the Nightside or any of it's inhabitants. He was to keep the status quo here and never, ever, bother any of us. It was a straight forward arraignment. At least, that's what I thought. It would seem that there's a little bit of a problem now," Walker said then turned back to Wilkins.

"Now, we haven't done anything to break the deal. John here's the one who brought who brought his little friendhere. Then you showed up and I can't help but feel a bit put out. You come in here, throwing these wild accusations around and, well, I can't help but feel that I may have to take legal action here. Maybe have that little arrangement gone over with a fine tooth comb. I'm sure your familiar with my lawyers," Wilkins said.

Not even the appearance of Walker seemed to throw him as far as John could see. It was a big bluff that Walker was playing as well, considering that the Authorities where all dead, courtesy of Lilith. But only Walker and John, and through him Xander, knew that and neither one of them where talking. It would be a bad time for the Nightside if people found out that there wasn't anyone that had a final word on things. Though it did make John question just what Walker could do without their backing.

The man in question had a dangerous look on his face as he took several steps towards Wilkins. "I know all about that...abomination of a law firm, Wilkins. Don't think for a second that they can scare me. They can have all the power they want in this world, not that it means anything in the long run, but that means nothing in the Nightside. Why don't you ask them about the last time they tried to set up shop inside the boarders there. As far as I know, they where going to let the building stand on the Street of Gods as a joke until the screaming stopped. After that, they tore it down cause no one found it funny anymore.

"We both know that you broke the arrangement first by bringing John here and trying to bring forth Merlin. Yes, we know all about that, Richard. Why don't we go upstairs to what's left of your office and talk this over? There must be something left upstairs after Dead Boy's more then enthusiastic walk through. I'm pretty sure I saw a bottle of scotch left unbroken and I know I could do with a drink. Talk about this like men and come to an understanding."

Wilkins and Walker stared at each other for a moment, sizing each other up. It all came down to who would blink first. Wilkins, who John knew nothing about but could guess that there had to be something special about him if Walker was dealing with him in this manor instead of just letting Dead Boy and himself take care of him. But Walker was Walker. John could count on one hand the number of people who dared to defy him and only two people who survived it, himself being one of them. In the end, Wilkins gave in, nodded once to Walker and turned to the man covered in moss. "Allan, call in a cleaning service for tomorrow. I think it would be best if we also canceled all appointments for the rest of the week. It seems that we're going to be doing some work on the offices.

"John, it's been a pleasure. I'll be sure to give your regards to the family. They'll be just delighted to here about the news of your Mother," Wilkins grinned at him and started heading upstairs. The threat was more then obvious, but he couldn't worry about it now. There just wasn't anything left in him to worry with.

Walker stepped next to John and sighed, "If it's not one thing it's another. I can trust you to clean the rest of this mess up, right? And don't worry about your friends here, John. I'll make sure that they're kept as safe as they can be while living here. Though, I'm sure that Wilkins will find a way around it, the snake. The man should have never been put into this position. If I had been around then...," he sighed. "But, you work with what you have."

Nodding, to Dead Boy and tipping his hat to Willow, Walker started for the door, followed by the moss man, Alan. Stopping just before he left, he turned slightly back to them. "It is something to think about though, isn't it, John."

"What's that?"

"How someone managed to get you here. If I'm right, they would have needed something very personal of yours and you do have just the one coat. Makes you wonder what it was and how they did it. Especially, if my sources are correct, Wilkins didn't plan for you to be here tonight even if he is responsible for it. Well, like I said, something to think about." With his job done, Walker left.

"It's just like Walker to show up after all the hard works been done and grab credit for it," John muttered.

Dead Boy, looking severely depressed that there was no longer anything to hit shrugged. "You know how he is, Taylor. I'm amazed that he got here so fast. I mean, after you went missing he was one of the first to jump up to find you, after Suzie of course. But still, that's pretty damn fast. That's Walker for you though."

Looking at him with a slightly puzzled expression, he said, "What do you mean 'after I went missing'?"

"John, word is that you where sitting in Strangefellows and when Suzie came back from the loo you weren't there. I had only just heard about it, mind you, right before you got in touch with me Everyone thought that something else had happened or that Lilith wasn't really gone. Good job on that, by the way. Really was a bit of fun. After all those people came out of that trance and saw who they where attacking half of them fainted and the other half hobbled away, if they could walk that is."

Feeling Xander express the same amount of puzzelment at what Dead Boy had told him, John decided to stay silent for a moment. It wouldn't do good to think about it. All he had to go on was the fact that if the spell broke, everything would be back to normal. He would end up in his body and he would go back to his safe sane world in the Nightside. Did he really just think of the Nightside as being safe and sane? Damn it. The Hellmouth always mucked things up with people's perspectives. The rules weren't so concrete here and it could really mess with you.

Looking over to Willow, John asked, "You OK?"

She didn't say anything, but nodded her head slowly. There was still life behind her eyes, as much as there could be with her being a ghost, and it confirmed to John that she really was alright. Tonight really must have taken a lot out of the girl and again he felt Xander's agreement and more then a touch of sympathy for the red-head. He had a feeling that Xander's loyalty went deep for the girl and idly wondered if there might be something more between the two. If there was, hopefully the kids would work it out and leave this place before they both ended up dead.

He gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile, though it looked more like a grimace of pain due to the bruises and cuts that where on his face. Willow, gave him a shaky smile as well and looked relieved when he turned back to Dead Boy.

"Well, that pretty much settles all of this then," John told him.

"As long as you don't count the fact that your still trapped in that body which you definitely put through the ringer, by the way. How do you plan on getting back to your own missing body without that spell wearing off? I mean, we can beat up that wizard but it seems sort of pointless," Dead Boy said, indicating Rayne's equally battered body.

"I'll work it out. Sorry it couldn't be more interesting for you here. Next time I'll try to give you something of a challenge."

"Don't worry about it. It's the Hellmouth. Not exactly the most exciting place. If it gave me any trouble then I would have to start reexamining my unlife and I'm too old for that. Besides, it's a nice change from what you usual have going on, Taylor. You sure you don't want me to stay?"

Thinking, John decided against it. Walker would keep the Mayor busy and would make sure that Xander and Willow where safe for at least a little bit. Nothing short of killing Mr. Cheerful, as John still thought of him, would really take care of that but there would always be something else around the corner. Their lives would always be in danger if he really thought about it considering they hung out with the Slayer, which was something that might also offer them a bit of protection in these parts. In the end, there wasn't much Dead Boy could really.

With a lazy wave, Dead Boy swaggered out of the room leaving John, Willow and the unconscious form of Ethan Rayne alone. Willow, looking nervous as Dead Boy left practically exploded after he was gone.

"What the hell was all that? The Mayor was doing this? Why would the Mayor want to bring Merlin here? HowdoyouknowMerlin?Whowasthatguy?Washeavampire?WhydidyoucallhimDeadBoy?IshelikeAngelandagoodvampire?WhydidtheMayorlistentothatotherman?"

John blinked his one good eye and held back the scowl when he felt Xander chuckle and grin inside his head. "I would say take a breath before you die but somehow I don't think that's going to be an issue for you. It's probably best that you don't have any answers to those questions, especially Dead Boy...or Merlin. You'll probably sleep a lot better at night not knowing their story."

"Bu-but everything that just happened...what _did_ just happen?" Willow asked.

"As soon as I know, I'll be sure to tell you. First things first though," John said then started to shuffle over to Ethan's tied up form. When he had tried walking the first step made him almost fall to his knees in pain and realized that they might have wither broken or sprained the ankle when the vampires had been beating on him. He hadn't noticed when he had stood up, chalking the pain up to a normal beating. Moving was awkward, but he finally reached the man.

Using a hand that was becoming increasingly stiff, which was worrying John but was something he blamed on his adrenaline wearing out, he reached into his coat and produced a small white tube. It was about the size if a lipstick tub but when he uncapped it, with only a bit of struggling, the uncovered portion had a tapered end of metal. Upending it, John was satisfied to see a few drops of a milky white liquid drop out of the tip and hit the floor.

Willow looked at the tube in John's hand. "Is that something your going to use to wake him up? Like smelling salts or something like that?"

"Something like that," John said before sticking the pointed end into Ethan's ear and squeezed the tube. The liquid was something that he had picked up from a client of his. It was something that crawled into the persons brain and forced them awake. It wasn't actually a liquid but some sort of alien parasite but it worked. It was also good for keeping a person from lying due to the pain it apparently caused. He had never used it before and was interested to see if it would work. If not, there where other ways.

In an instant, Ethan woke up with bulging eyes and a silent scream in his throat. After a moment of this, John lifted his hand and backhanded him. He let gravity do all the work since he didn't think he could actually strike the man with much force. At least the slap knocked some of the feeling into the increasingly stiff hand. Ignoring Willow's squeak of shock, John looked down at chaos mage and growled, "Just one time. Then things get rather messy. How do I end this thing?"

John watched as whatever curse Ethan wanted to yell at him died as he looked John in the eyes. It was something that he only did when he really wanted to make an impression. Something that, as a kid running around on the streets and as an adult making a name for himself in the Nightside, had earned him the moniker of The Hard Man. One of his many names that had a mix of truth and embellishments and more then a dash of fear to it. He stared down Ethan Rayne and they pitted their power and depth between them. Even if Ethan had known what was going on, he never stood a chance.

Trying to move back while still tied to a chair was a smarter thing to do then one would think. If he hadn't then he wouldn't have broken eye contact when he fell over and the blood coming out of his nose, ears and eyes might have been the least of his troubles.

"Th-th-the statue! Break the bloody statue! Whatever you want just...just go! I-I-I told you!" Ethan cried out as tears began to mix with blood.

It was pitiful and if John could have managed to kick the man, he would have. "Where?"

"U-upstairs! Mayors office! They to-to-took it after they grabbed me. Didn't want me to break the bloody thing," he wept. Even while he was tied to the chair and on the floor, John and Willow watched as he tried to squirm further away from them.

With no more need of the man, John started walking, or limping rather, away and towards the door. Willow, ran up behind, through and in front of him bringing him up short.

"John," she said quietly. "You can't just leave him down here. He's...he's human. That vampires going to rip him apart when he wakes up."

"Barely," John spat. "Besides, since when did being human absolve a person? A lot of the things I've dealt with where human once, a long time ago. No one left here but monsters, kid."

Her face fell and, while Xander wanted to say something to comfort her, he didn't argue with his decision. Something that John would have sworn he would have done before this whole ordeal. But there was nothing he could say to make this right, to make any of it OK and Xander knew that as well. All that was left was to end this nightmare.

Walking through Willow, John continued his slow but steady pace to the upstairs. Thankfully, there was an elevator on this level not to fair from where he was which saved him the trouble of trying to get up the stairs. It took mere seconds to reach the lobby and when John stepped out he looked around at the destruction Dead Boy had caused. Large holes where in every wall there and not one bit of furniture was left intact. Bodies where strewn all about in varies states of dead and dying. He was glad to see that the shark demon who had visited him at the bar was among the dead. One unlucky vampire who hadn't been dusted was laying on the floor propped up against the wall which gave him a great view of his arms and legs that where about five feet away from him. He didn't know if a vampire could die of blood loss or not but if anyone could, this one would.

Satisfied with the amount of damage and carnage that his friend had caused, a smile tugged at his lips which caused a cut on his lip that had healed slightly to reopen and fresh blood dribble down his chin. He started off again and started to feel out slightly with his senses and his gift for the statue. It didn't take long and nothing tried to block him or crack his skull open like a piece of fruit. There it was, three floors up and looked like a multi-colored strobe light to him. The strings of magic that came off of this thing where so thick it they resembled cables more then anything else. But, still, there it was. The source of all this chaos. A simple bust of Janus, a God that would probably be living out the rest of his/her days in poverty and starved half to death if it wasn't for idiots like Rayne downstairs.

Without so much of a muttered curse for this place, John reached out to those strings of magic and tore them from the statue. There was no flash of light, no resounding explosion or anything so trivial as that. The spell simply ended, returning everyone back to who they where, if there was anything left of them. But, as such things go, John and Xander didn't have it so simple. For the second time that night, John found himself standing in the library inside of Xander's mind facing the youth.

"So, did we die?" Xander asked after a strained silence.

"If we did then someone is going to have a lot to answer for," John replied, looking around to make sure there wasn't anyone or anything else there. You never could be too careful.

"We're not dead but back in my head. Alright, that doesn't exactly make any sense but I'll play along. Not really much of a choice," Xander muttered.

The dark haired young man didn't have that frightened look in his eyes anymore. It had been replaced by something far more depressing to John, and something all that more familiar. It was the same look John saw every time he looked in the mirror, more and more often now. The haunted look of someone who had seen and done far too much. If Xander had really experienced everything John had, then it would explain it but what made matters worse is that he had his own experiences on top of them. Plus, he wasn't made of the same stuff John was, he wasn't born into the Nightside with all it's dangers pretending to be pleasures and some that didn't even bother. He was a different person and now he had to live with it.

"This was my doing, actually. Wanted to have a little face to face before I went off. I cut all the links to the statue except this one. There's some things we needed to go over first. You get everything that happened back there, right?" John said, enjoying the look of brief shock that crossed Xander's face. It was good to still be able to surprise people.

He quickly recovered, nodding his head. "Yea. Loud and clear actually. I still can't believe that the Mayor is involved in this. But, hey, he's a politician so it isn't that big of a surprise."

"Yea, yea, yea. Listen, there isn't a whole lot of time before the link gets severed and I get to go back home and deal with my normal insanity. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you where facing. Cheerful isn't exactly the kind of guy to let things go, I'd imagine. Things can get messy for you and yours," John said, his face completely serious.

"Not exactly something new, then. I mean, you know about the Slayer and everything so life before this," he shrugged, "Not exactly what you would call safe. Sort of safety adjacent.

"Besides, I would think if anything you would have more to watch your back about what with Mom...Lilith's kids running about. Plus, whoever the nicked your coat or whatever the hell it was," Xander paused for a moment and looked stricken. "I just said nicked, didn't I? If I start talking like Giles I swear I'll hit someone."

"I was a bit more concerned with calling Lilith Mom. But, you have a point. Someone went to a lot of trouble to set this up, especially with you or I knowing anything about it. So, it may not be just me they where looking to get."

Xander grinned and stuck out his hand, albeit tentatively. "Tell them to take a number, right?"

John half heartily returned the grin. "Yea, there's a hell of a line forming back there."

Taking his hand, they briefly shook then broke contact. Neither really knew what more to say. How do you really say anything else? John had taken over Xander's body, not by choice, and spent the night going around and acting like himself while everyone was going to only remember Xander. Granted, he was able to break the spell in the end but it still left the kid with one hell of a problem, not to mention bringing him and his friend to the attention of the Mayor who was more then met the eye. But, then again Xander had relived or lived or whatever the hell had happened, inside of John's head for the entirety of his life. He was privy to the deepest darkest moments and most private thoughts of a man who let very few people get close to him and no one inside to see everything. After all of that, words don't really mean much. But, still...

"If you ever need anything, well, hell, you know how to reach me," John told him.

Xander gave him a lopsided grin, "Do you think Cathy is single and willing to make a day trip?"

John glared at him and turned around, feeling the last of the spell fading and with it, his hold on Xander Harris's body.

* * *

Xander snapped back into control of his own body in an instant and, in that instant, regretted it. Pain was all he could feel as he stood there in the middle of the first floor of Town Hall surrounded by the destruction caused by Dead Boy. One of the first coherent thoughts he had was that it was going to take a hell of a lot longer then a few days to get this place back in any kind of working order.

He started to head for the doors, very slowly as to not aggravate any of the numerous wounds, bruises and, lets not forget cracked ribs and yet unspecified hurt foot, when he stopped to look at the vampire that had been torn limb from limb. The damn thing was still moving and, while in a lot of pain, seemed intent to try and make a move to bite him. Maybe all it could think about was feeding after suffering such an attack. It didn't matter to him though, he just couldn't stand to look at the thing. Not anymore.

Something in him, an unconscious thought popped into his head and he found himself reaching into one of the pockets of his torn and bloodied white trench coat. He only stopped himself after the hand that still had feeling left in it was inside the pocket and fingering something small and round. His mind went blank for moment as he realized that he was actually holding what he was holding. Slowly, and not just because of his injuries, he took his hand out and looked at the object. It was a small, oval egg that was white with red speckles all over it and was warm in his hand.

Giving it a shake, it glowed like a hot ember and felt that much warmer, but didn't burn.

"Ever see a salamander egg before?" Xander asked the torso of the vampire. Not bothering to wait for an answer, he tossed it, hitting him square in the chest and breaking the egg. Fire erupted and instantly the vampire was reduced to ash.

The object itself wasn't important, though it was cool. A salamander egg, which John had used as flares and a light source most of the time, was just an interesting little item that he had kept in his coat. But that was the important part. The fact that it had been inside the coat after the spell had been broken. That meant that someone got their hands on John's coat and all of those neat little tricks of his where still with him. If they hadn't, they would have disappeared after the spell ended, right?

When a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him, Xander decided that he couldn't think about it now. He had to get somewhere safe and get help. Whatever those vampires did to him was a lot worse then John had thought or maybe John was just better able to deal with it. Either way, he needed to rest and get healed up and soon. His foot was useless at the moment and his right hand had started going numb again.

Shaking his hand to get more feeling into it, Xander then started back on his way. He shuffled out the door and looked around the street when he did. It was strangely deserted and looked like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Nothing touched this area and Xander filed it away for later. It seemed important somehow, like there was a reason he was missing.

He turned his head slightly to either direction to try and get his bearings. With a nod to no one in particular, he headed down the one street knowing that he was headed in the right direction.

* * *

Rupert Giles was, some would say, many things. He was a scholar, a fighter, and at times a damn good dabbler in the arts when the occasion called for it. Many also knew that he had a darker side to him which was prone to bouts of anger and violence and many nasty things that he chose to leave behind him, for the most part. This side of him, which people most often referred to as Ripper, a name he went back in his more hell raising days, was very close to coming out.

He had only made it home a few moments ago, poured himself a glass of scotch and sat down heavily in his arm chair nursing a bruised face. It had that greenish color to it and stung when even the wind blew against it. So when he pressed the ice pack to his face he almost kicked the coffee table over to relieve some of the pain.

When he woke up in the trashed costume shop he was more then a little confused. Xander, Xander had hit him. Not only hit him, but managed to knock him out with one punch at that. One bloody punch! He tried to remind himself that it wasn't actually Xander but whoever the hell Xander had dressed up as but truth be told, that didn't help matters. In his mind it was still Xander that had hit him and the Ripper in him wanted to return the favor in spades.

Not knowing where to go, he had made his way back to the library to see if Angel had made any progress. Apparently, he had been out for longer then he had thought because hours had passed and, somehow, the spell had worn off almost right before he made it to the library. Buffy had been quite distressed, to say the least, and had went out in search of Willow and Xander after he had explained what had happened. He was concerned as well, but knew that he didn't have it in him to search the streets. None of the real demons or vampires, aside from Spike for some reason, would be inside tonight so the streets would be relatively safe. The cops had went out in force and had helped to round up the children and anyone else who was lost, injured or just plain confused.

It was more then Giles wanted to deal with but he knew, despite his anger, that he wouldn't be sleeping tonight till he heard from Buffy or Angel that they had found Willow and Xander safe and sound. Then, he would hunt down Ethan Rayne and teach him the meaning of the pain and suffering. The man had gone too far this time. It was too much and Giles would not stand for it. He wanted to see his old pal Ripper? Well, he would certainly arrange that.

He had just started to fantasize about the many ways he could hurt Ethan when he heard a thump at his door. A moment later it was followed by another. It sounded as if someone was trying to knock or perhaps throw something heavy against the door repeatedly. Tentatively, he stood up and grabbed the single bladed axe he kept near his fire place and moved towards the door.

"Yes?" he asked once he was closer. While evil things tended not to knock, he still wasn't about to blindly open the door.

A voice, distorted for some reason, but most definitely human, responded. Unable to make out the words, Giles took another step to the door and looked through the peephole. Dropping the axe with a clang, Giles threw open the door and stared at Xander. The boy was a mess to say the least. His face was bruised and swollen so badly the one eye was shut. He had too many cuts and bruises on the rest of his body to count. His one hand was held uselessly at his side while he favored one foot. Giles could only manage to blink before Xander gave him a weak smile and promptly fell forward into him.

Catching him but just barely, Giles was able to help him the couch. There was no way to set him down gently and Giles winced as he fell onto it. The pained look on Xander's face made it that much worse for Giles.

"Xander, what in the world happened? Who did this?" Giles questioned as he started to get his coat off of him.

"Less questions more pain killers," Xander mumbled.

Giles got up to grab his first aid kit, as well as the phone to dial 9-1-1 when Xander grabbed his shirt sleeve.

"Giles, listen," Xander said, his voice was hoarse and dry.

Waiting for a moment, all Giles could hear was the chime of his mantel clock. "What? What is it, Xander?"

Smiling, Xander sat up slightly. "It's three A.M., Giles."

Looking over to the clock, he found that it was in fact three in the morning but had no idea as to what significance it held. "Xander, why do you want me to know the time? What does it mean?"

Still grinning, Xander slumped back and closed his eye. "You don't understand. It's three in the morning, Giles. It's always three in the morning."

And then, everything was darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Took longer to write this thing then I intended. I had to go back and rewrite it about three times cause I had to change scene's that just didn't work. Not really happy with it but it's needed to set some things up for later. On a completely different note, if none of you have seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog then what the hell are you waiting for? Go and do it now! Well, read this first and then go watch it. Enjoy.

Arriving to the hospital, Giles gave a quick nod to the charge nurse on the floor. Over the past two weeks, they had seen a lot of each other and she had been more then helpful to him. Every day, more often twice a day, Giles had come to the hospital to check on Xander. He had been in here since the night of, or rather early morning after, Halloween. The first few nights had been the hardest for the young man as the wounds he had suffered where sever and he had gone into shock. But, with the antibiotics and the pain killers to help ease him, Xander was now doing remarkably well. That wasn't to say that he wasn't without hardship. It had only been two weeks and with the extent of his injuries it would be at least another week before he was back on his feet.

The official report of his injuries shocked the Watcher. Two cracked ribs, as well as three more which where bruised. His right wrist had been broken so badly that blood had initially had trouble getting to it, which explained Xander's complaint about it going numb before. The left foot had, thankfully, been dislocated and not shattered as Giles had initially suspected and he had full use of it, though it was still tender. The rest of his body was littered with bruises so deep they wouldn't fade for close to a month. His face, while it looked significantly better, was still badly swollen but at least he was able to see out of his left eye again. All in all, he was very lucky on the physical aspect of things. Mentally, however, it was a different story.

Every night since then, Xander would wake up screaming and thrashing about. The doctors had of course tried every sleep medication and sedative that was reasonable to use for him but in the end, he always woke up. After the first week the charge nurse had confided in Giles that it was something that baffled the doctor and frightened the whole floor. No matter what they did, he would wake up as if his body would just magically find a way out of his dreams. It was always at the same time too, like clockwork. Three A.M. The time of night meant something to Xander, Giles new, remembering the young man's words to him before he passed out on his couch. What it meant though, he hadn't the faintest idea.

That had been something that had changed about Xander since Halloween. He was quieter now. He would still make a joke here or there but for the most part he was silent, contemplative as it where. Aside from himself, Buffy and Willow had stopped by every day to try and both cheer him up and get him to talk, though Willow had done so with less fever then either himself or Buffy. Yet, nothing would get him to speak about the events at Halloween except to say that they had to look into the Mayor. It was frustrating all of them to no end but there wasn't anything that could be done about.

After they had spoken to Willow, it made both more and less sense. She had, with a small amount of reluctance, explained to them everything that she had witnessed on Halloween. She had been shaken up by the experience of that night and, though she knew that it hadn't been Xander doing those things or talking like that, she seemed to be slightly nervous when in the same room with him. Admittedly, Giles could understand. Some of the things he had done had seemed a bit cold and dangerous to him but he understood that it wasn't Xander. Willow, however, had been there and seen her best friend and her childhood crush do some very unsavory things and it didn't seem as if she was likely to move past it right away.

All of this would have been enough for the Watcher to give him a headache and fray his nerves but then, on top of it, he had the pleasure of dealing with Xander's family. After they had arrived at the hospital, and after first getting in touch with Buffy and Willow, Giles had tried to reach Xander's parents. It had taken several phone calls before someone answered and then it wasn't in a disturbed sleep voice but rather a slurred, drunk and passed out manner in which they spoke. Most of the conversation had been unintelligible and when Giles finally managed to get it through to the man that Xander had been hurt he had replied by asking if he had ruined anything. He then said something so slurred that Giles didn't even try to understand it and had promptly hung-up. Giles knew that Xander's home life was less than ideal but hadn't understood the level to which it had seemed to reach.

He looked down as he approached Xander's room and found that he had the package he was holding in a death like grip. Not wanting to crush the box, he forced himself to calm down. Once he was sure that his temper was under control, he entered the room and gave a reassuring smile to Xander who was sitting up in his bed looking out the window.

"How are you, my boy?" Giles asked as he came to a stop at the foot of his bed.

Turning, Xander gave him a slight smile, "Doc says I should be good enough to be released. Have to take it easy for a few more weeks but all in all it should be fine. Guess that means I won't be much of a help for a while with the nightlife, here, huh?"

"Don't worry about that. Buffy, Willow and I can take care of things. Yo-You just concentrate on getting yourself, well," Giles told him.

Silence settled between them and Giles took note of the dark circles under the young man's un-bruised eye. "I take it your still not sleeping."

Shaking his head slightly, Xander said with a wry grin, "No, not really. The drugs don't work so they just stopped altogether. It's alright. I never really liked sleep that much anyway."

Giles wanted to push the topic. He wanted to force the boy to talk about what had happened that night, a night that seemed to take a far worse toll on the town then they had thought. Repairs where needed all around town and the total number of dead had been confirmed at twenty-two. Several more had been injured, a few where still in the hospital along with Xander but it was still just swept under the rug and people ignored the insanity of it. But, Xander didn't seem to be able to forget, something had changed for him that night and it was anyone's guess as to what it was. So far, all of his research into the name John Taylor or the Nightside had either been dead ends or being told emphatically to walk away. The only information that he had been able to locate was a John Taylor who had operated as a private detective in one of the shadier parts of London for about five years. That had been a dead end as no one had seen or heard from him for several years now.

"Is that what I think it is?" Xander asked, his voice sounding a bit hopeful, something he hadn't seemed to have much of these past couple of weeks.

Nodding, Giles placed the box on the chair by his bed. "Yes, it is, Xander. But, I think we need to have a talk."

The hope that had been on Xander's face disappeared in an instant. He turned his head back to the window and looked out of it. Giles had seen him do this every time anyone had even hinted at having him talk, but today Giles swore that he wouldn't let him ignore it anymore. It had been the same with Buffy after the she had died and killed the Master. She had been despondent and irrational after so long of keeping it inside of her and he wasn't about to let that happen to another one of them. In the short time he had been privy to the lives of Buffy Summers and her friends; he had developed affection for all of them. He didn't want to see any of them be hurt if there was something, anything he could do about it. They deserved more than that.

"Xander, we've already talked to Willow. She explained to us, as much as she could, what happened. I don't profess to have any greater knowledge then that on what happened that night but, there's more, isn't there? Something that you either witnessed or felt that night that no one else did. Something that has seemed to have a profound effect on you, am I right?" Giles asked, speaking in a hushed tone.

As expected, Xander didn't answer.

"Xander, I can't imagine that this is easy for you. But no one can help you until you speak to us about it. The doctors may say that your physically fit to be released but, well, all of us are just a bit concerned about your mental well being," Giles stood there, hoping for a response, hoping for any sign that he may have gotten through to the boy. He was greeted by nothing by silence as he watched Xander to continue to stare out the window.

He sighed, not knowing what else he could do except to continue on like this. Well, he could always shake him until he spoke but he doubted that would work, despite how he may otherwise feel. Xander was experiencing some kind of deep depression but about what, none of them knew. None of the others had experienced any long term effects or even any lasting skill or knowledge of who they had become. Buffy had been able to speak French for a short time, but that ended after about a week much to her dismay. One of the only things that might have made it different for Xander is that he had, presumably, been taken over by an actually person and not just the idea of someone, like a noble woman in Buffy's case or a ghost in Willow's. His had been a real life person with a history and their own mind who took him over. It was the only difference he could find that may actually explain for whatever it was that was going on with Xander.

"You can't help," Xander said softly. It wasn't a whisper, but Giles had almost missed it. "Giles, you wouldn't understand half of what happened because I don't really understand it."

"If you tried explaining instead of just assuming that I can't help you might be surprised. I'm not a stranger to most of the things that are out there, as you might expect. There was...a darker time in my youth. Much to Buffy's disappointment, I wasn't born wearing tweed," Giles told him.

Giles watched as Xander faced him and gave him a small, half smile. "Giles, we both know that there are things out there in the night. Hell, G-man, you and Buffy opened my eyes to that fact. But...there are things out there that are worse then what you know about. Things that, well, let's just say that you don't want to eat before you see any of these things. And you may want to find a good hobby for afterwards because sleep won't be an issue."

"Xander, are you saying that you...you became aware of some of these things? Some lingering memory of the man who you became on Halloween?"

Shaking his head slightly, Xander closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "The man I became on Halloween, Giles...I think he might be one of those things. He definitely came from one, trust me. Mommy dearest was...something else."

"Mommy dearest?" Giles asked. He hadn't misheard him. The boy had said it with such emotion but he didn't understand why. He also didn't get why Xander had referred to this John Taylor characters mother as Mommy dearest.

Getting slightly wide eyed at his slip of the tongue, Xander quickly back tracked. "His mother, Giles. John's mother."

"What about his mother?" Giles asked, still keeping his voice low. Neither was whispering but it felt that if they spoke at normal volume then the words might not come out and Giles was not about to risk having Xander become quite again.

Xander looked as if he was having some sort of internal battle in his head. Over what, Giles didn't know. He might be trying to find the right words to describe what he was talking about or perhaps how much to tell him. He wasn't foolish enough to think that Xander would suddenly blurt out all of his pent up feelings and thoughts to him, nor should he.

"Giles, how much do you know? About the world I mean. All of the books you have stored up in the library talk about how the world began with a living hell butwhere did all of those demons and monsters go?" Xander asked.

Blinking, Giles took off his glasses. The question threw him, not knowing what it had to do with their current conversation. "We-well, one would assume that they went back to one of their many hell dimensions, those that couldn't remain hidden here, of course."

"Is there any proof about that though? I mean, these are all stories that where passed down, right? Like the bible only with demons instead of Adam and Eve."

"I don't think that you can really compare the story of Garden of Eden and the beginning of the world," Giles said with a slight chuckle.

Xander started rolling his shoulders and swung his legs over the side of the bed, wincing as the movement must have hurt his many bruises and injured ribs. "Well, why not? I mean, the Garden of Eden thing wasn't really true. It was more of a parable really."

Giles stopped and watched the young man as he gingerly tested out his legs on the floor. The way Xander had called the story of Geneses a parable and compared it to what they knew to be the beginning of the world was a bit of putting. For starters, Xander had never really seemed to give it much thought and now he was starting a very heavy theological discussion. Secondly, there was the tone of voice he used. There wasn't conviction in his voice as you would expect someone to have if they were defending an idea but rather the voice of someone stating a simple truth.

"You're saying that demons leaving earth and the creation of half breeds and vampires are similar to a biblical story? It's not that it isn't interesting, many people in my field have wrote papers trying to link the two, but what exactly does it have to do with what happened on Halloween, Xander?"

Wincing, though standing, Xander walked over and picked up the box Giles had set down. As he walked into the bathroom he shut the door but kept talking, his voice loud enough so that Giles could still hear him.

"Giles, it has everything to do with that night. More then I think any of us are going to know, for the time being. II can't talk about it, not yet. Not all of it. There's a lot that went on that I don't think would make anyone too happy, especially not Buffy and I already have Willow looking at me like I'm a freaking leper."

"She doesn't think of you that way, Xander. She's justthat night had her witness a lot of things that she wasn't ready for, things that she shouldn't have to be ready for. Give her time. As for Buffy I doubt that there is much you can do to make her dislike you. She hasn't said much about it but she's been trying to locate Ethan Rayne since the day after everything happened. She seemed particularly frustrated when Willy the Snitch wouldn't give her any information once he found out it had to do with you. It was rather odd, wouldn't you say?" Giles asked, moving closer to the door so as to not have to shout.

A moment passed before Xander answered. "I don't think she's going to have any luck with Rayne, Giles. She shouldn't be looking into him anyway, there's more important things at the moment."

Knowing that he wasn't going to get anything else about either Willies reluctance to talk or why Buffy wouldn't locate Ethan, Giles let it pass, though he wasn't going to let the matter drop entirely. "You still haven't explained what any of this has to do with what happened or why the mother of this John Taylor person is so important."

"Go back and read that Garden of Eden story again, Giles. The real one that I know you have somewhere or other. You're smart, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Before Giles could respond the bathroom door opened and Xander stepped out dressed in the clothing that Giles had brought him, upon his request. Grey pants and a long sleeved charcoal shirt were a far cry from what he normally wore, but he had insisted on it. He had told Giles that he didn't think he could wear those bright printed shirts anymore, which somehow reminded the older man about the Jonny Cash song _Man in Black_. It seemed to suit him and he looked as if he wouldn't stand out like he once did except for one other thing he had requested. It had taken a bit of time and careful work but after two trips to the dry cleaner Xander now wore the same white trench coat he had on Halloween. This too, seemed fitting in a way that Giles couldn't place but the look on Xander's face as he smoothed it out had reminded him of someone greeting an old friend.

"You made sure that they took everything out of the pockets, right?" the younger man asked as he searched each one individually.

"I did it myself, Xander and the contents of that coat are a whole other conversation all together," Giles told him. It was true, everything that he had found inside of that coat both confused and disturbed him. Some of the contents ranged from packets of salt and pepper, a stick of celery and various other odds and ends. The coat, it would appear, had actually belonged to John Taylor being that none of the items inside disappeared and Giles doubted that some of the things inside where things Xander would have laying about his house.

Sitting in the chair by the hospital bed, Xander started to put on his sneakers and frowned slightly. "Somehow, I think that ratty running shoes are going to work with this outfit," he muttered.

"Xander, where do you think you're going? I can understand wanting to get out of that gown but you haven't actually been released yet. Buffy and Willow will be here in an hour which is when you're scheduled to be let out," Giles pointed out. He had a feeling he already knew the response that was coming.

"I know, I don't plan on being here when they get here, Giles," Xander said softly, stopping in the middle of tying his one shoe. "I have to check on a few things. Things that arethings that need to be checked on."

Giles let out a sigh, frowning slightly. "You're talking about what happened on Halloween, you mean. You need to find out something about that night."

"Yea, I do."

"And you won't tell me what exactly any of it is, will you. Or why you can't sleep at night."

Xander finished tying his shoe but didn't look at Giles. Instead, he stood up and went over to the window, which actually gave him a fairly decent view of the sun as it started its way towards the west. "Look up that Genesis, Giles. I'll give you a hint. It's the first one that's important."

"The...the first one?" Giles asked. It made no sense. Who was the first one? What did Genesis have to do with anything?

"You'll know what I'm talking about. Tell Buffy and Willow not to worry though, I'll be back before sunset. I just...I have to check on a few things. Won't take me long," Xander told him. Giving the older man a wry grin and a nod, he left.

Giles knew he should have tried to stop him but he couldn't. He didn't have that kind of authority over the young man and he doubted that he could have argued him into submission. There was something else though. He seemed, for the first time, almost like his old self but...not. The young man that he knew was still there but it was as if there was a more self assure and decisive presence to him as well. Something that you would normally only see with age.

Deciding that he didn't want to be here if and when a nurse came by, Giles quickly exited the room himself. He needed to contact Buffy and Willow and make sure that they didn't come here looking for Xander. Then, he was going to head back to the library and apparently reread the story of Genesis and figure out just what the hell Xander meant by "the first one".

* * *

It was five o'clock in the evening and Xander was sitting in a booth in the back of Willie's bar and had been for the past three hours. Before Halloween, this would have been completely crazy to Xander but now, it seemed like the most normal thing in the world. He needed information on what was going on, things that wouldn't have made its way to the Slayer and, by that account, Willie. His place was still the place to go for information, but you weren't going to get it from him.

For the first couple of hours, Xander had sat there and had a few drinks. He wasn't worried about it like he would have been before with his own parents raging alcoholism. Now though, he simply enjoyed it. He wasn't chained to the same things they where, living inside of John had taught him that. He wasn't what his parent's where, he was his own person. Besides from that, one of the bad habits he had picked up from living along side John was a taste for liquor. Not in the alcoholic sense his parent's had but in a enjoying way and he couldn't lie and say he didn't like how it made some of the sharper memories a bit dull. Willie didn't even give him a funny look when he asked for it and everyone there gave him room. Some of them kept an eye on him, as if expecting any minute that he was going to do something but after a little while, no one paid him any attention.

Then, right when Xander was going to give up and head to the library, Spike sauntered into the place. He, like Xander, was given a wide berth and two demons that sort of looked like large skunks only with finer fur, had insisted on paying for his drink. Being Spike, he didn't bother with a kind word but grabbed the glass after it had been put down on the bar and started checking out the place. When he saw Xander, Spike had made a beeline for him and again, almost the entire bar watched, waiting for something to happen. It was only when the two of them glared at them did they get anything that even resembled privacy.

"Either you're madder then Dru is or you're out here looking for trouble. Personally, I don't really care which. I've always been more about enjoying the show then trying to figure it out," Spike said as he made himself comfortable.

"Actually, Spike, I was waiting for you to show up," Xander said, raising his glass to him then taking a drink.

Cocking an eyebrow, Spike said, "Waiting for me, eh? Well, you can forget about any kind of special treatment, no matter how good that night has been for my rep. That wasn't you, whelp. That was Taylor. Don't think that playing dress up is going to have anyone scarred of you. As soon as people find out that your nothing but talk in a white coat with nothing to back it up, you're going to be deader then, well, I would say a corpse but they have a nasty habit of not really staying dead, now don't they?"

Xander smiled, watching as Spike took a pack of cigarettes out along with his lighter. The moment Spike had brought the paper stick to his lips, Xander snapped his fingers and the lonely smoke was missing from his mouth and was now sitting in the palm of Xander's hand. Spike stared down at it but didn't show any signs of surprise. After a moment, he looked up at Xander and snorted, "Bugger."

He held the cigarette back out to Spike who took, though with slight caution. "How the hell did this all happen, then? Don't tell me that's still you in there, Taylor." Spike asked as he blew out smoke.

Xander, who was more than happy to notice the change in the vampire's mood, said, "No, it's not John, Spike. I don't think I would be sitting here if I was, do you? I've had some time to think about it and the only thing I can come up with is Rack. Whatever he did to me...I don't know, did this too."

"So what? You're here to scare me into being a good little vampire? Run me out of town? Well, forget it! You're not John Taylor, in case you haven't realized. Even if you got his tricks you're not the bastard he is," Spike told him.

Spike looked as if he was tensing up and expecting some kind of a fight which Xander would have normally been more than happy to oblige. Well, actually before he would have been more than happy to watch someone else oblige but either way that was then. "Spike, if I wanted to fight do you think I would be sitting in this bar nursing my third whiskey? Hell, would I be here by myself? I came here cause I knew you would be milking this damn thing for all it was worth and Willie's Place would be the best place to do that. What I need is to know what's coming. Someone or something must be gunning for me after that night and I need to know who."

After a moment, Spike visibly relaxed but still watched him carefully. "Not a peep, whelp. I was as surprised as the next guy to hear that no one had any plans on taking you or the Slayer out. Well, besides the usual rift raff who's always out to get the Slayer, anyway."

"So you're saying no one's talking?"

"Oh, people are talking but not about coming after you. Hell, people are still trying to figure out what the hell happened that night. You should hear some of the things I've heard. All anyone can be sure about is that you went up against the Mayor and came out on the winning end. I'd like to know how Taylor managed that myself actually."

Xander shuddered at the thought. "Yea, I heard this one rumor when I first came in here. Disturbed the hell out of me, actually."

Spike blinked a few times before downing the last of his drink and banging it on the table. "If it's that same damn one about you and me wanting to get married and going after the Mayor till he legalized it I think I'll kill everyone here. You included, Droopy. I tore the lips and ears off the minion who told me about it and I'll do worse to the next person who says it."

This time it was Xander who stopped and stared. "Um...no."

"Oh. Well, uh, good then," Spike said.

After a good five minutes of uncomfortable silence and another round later, Xander spoke again. "That seem odd to you at all? I mean, we do all that damage and then tangle with the Mayor and what, nothing?"

Spike shrugged, "You're looking for an actual answer there? The Mayor is a big picture kind of guy, mate. If it had been me, I would have tortured you, your friends, that Slayer girl and strung your entrails along the streets to send a message. But that's just me. Then again, I'd also do that bit for fun as well."

"Thanks. That's a whole lot better," Xander told him deadpan.

"Look, be grateful you came out at all. No one knows what really happened in there but everyone's talking about it. It's the reason you're sitting here right now without half the demons in this bar tearing you apart on principle alone. You got a good bit of story on you now and it's a tad bit more then what anyone else has done as of late."

He was right and Xander knew it. He should be happy that he wasn't on some hit list of the Mayor's but he wasn't. It didn't feel right. He had seen John tangle with people like Mr. Cheerful, as Xander still thought of him, before. All of them may be big and powerful and after the "big picture" but they all had one thing in common. They were all petty as all hell and would stop at nothing to get back at those that had burned them. If no one was talking then that meant it was being kept so close to the chest and that he wouldn't see it till it was almost too late, if he saw it at all.

There was just one more thing he had to take care of before he went off to talk to Giles and the rest of them. "Spike, I need a favor."

Snorting, Spike gave him a look. "Oh, this should be good."

After he was finished, Spike grinned showing all his teeth. It _was _good.

* * *

"Giles, he's been out of the hospital for almost four hours now. What if something happened to him? I can't believe that you just let him walk off like that?" Buffy said loudly as she paced the library.

"Buffy, I know that you're concerned but Xander is old enough to make his own decisions. He wasn't under any kind of pain medication or anything that would have impaired his judgment, though lord knows why he wasn't on them. Xander must still be in a tremendous amount of pain. Still, I couldn't have very well tied him to a chair and waited for you," Giles told her as he flipped through another book. There were already more than a dozen laid out in front of him and he was busy cross referencing all of them.

"Well, you could have! Did you even think to bring rope with you?" Buffy stopped and asked in mid stride.

Looking up, Giles gave her a look of pure confusion. "Did I…? Buffy, calm down. Xander will get her when he gets here. I have a lot of faith in that boy," he muttered the last part turning back to the book in front of him.

It had been like this all afternoon ever since Buffy had come to wait in the library with Giles. Willow had said that she would be by later but had sounded odd to both of them. The ordeal of Halloween had affected her a great deal but not nearly as badly as it had Xander. She was at least able to be more or less herself as long as the subject of that night and Xander where avoided. When either one was brought up she would revert to a state of quietness and answered questions only after being asked them repeatedly. Apparently the fact that Xander had left the hospital and was nowhere to be found was not sitting well with her.

Of course, as luck would have it, it was at this time that the red headed young woman walked through the doors. She smiled to both of them but it was obvious that it was merely for their benefit.

She took a look at the pacing Slayer and the watcher steeped in books before speaking. "Still no word from Xander yet?"

"No, and apparently I should have thought more about rope when I visited him," Giles answered.

"It's not as if it wouldn't have helped. Just distract him and then tie him to the bed. That's what I would have done," Buffy said. "To keep him there, I mean," she added after the look Giles and Willow gave her.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose to keep the worst of the headache at bay, Giles continued. "Still, Xander is more than capable of taking care of himself at the moment. The sun still hasn't fully set yet and until it does I don't think that we have anything to be overly worried about."

"Is that why you're buried in books?" Willow asked.

"Well, uh, th-that's a completely different matter entirely," Giles tried to explain, knowing that he wasn't going to convince them.

Buffy stopped and blew out a breath, "Please, you haven't stopped looking at them since I got here. You won't even tell me what it's about. I mean, what if some sort of nasty is going to be climbing out of the Hellmouth and I'm not prepared for it? I bet you'd say, 'If only I had explained more to my Slayer'."

"Yes, I'm certain that's exactly what I would say," Giles.

Willow had ignored the argument and went over to the table, picking up one of the books. "Biblical Metaphor's," she read out loud. She looked at it with confusion then with wide eyed understanding. "Oh. _That's_ why," she whispered.

"What was that?" Giles asked, barely catching her words.

"Um…Xander. It's about Xander, isn't it?" she asked quietly.

"What's about Xander? Giles, what's going on that you're not saying?" Buffy asked coming over to the two.

He hadn't wanted to bring them into it like this. If he had had his way then he would have talked to Xander alone and then the two would have spoken to Buffy and Willow. There was more to this then he had first thought but he still couldn't figure it out. Nothing he had looked up about Genesis had seemed pertinent to what may be going on. It would have helped to have more to go on then what Xander had given him, but that wasn't likely to happen. At this point, it was useless to try and keep his research from them though.

"Yes, Willow it is. He said he would be by to talk about it but had wanted to give me a heads up, as it where. But frankly, I can't make heads or tails of it. It's a riddle of sorts, I think anyway. Then again, I may be completely wrong," Giles told them.

Buffy, who was looking almost wild eyed asked, "Giles, what did he tell you? Spill, already."

With a sigh, Giles shut the book in front of him. "To look up Genesis. That and the fact that, 'the first one is important' whatever that means. Everything that I've come across is either contradictory or just bloody useless."

"Lilith," Willow said almost instantly.

"I beg your pardon?" Giles asked.

"Lilith was the first wife of Adam," Willow said, looking down toward the floor. Her face had grown dark and frown lines creased her mouth.

"Of course! Lilith was said to be the _first_ wife of Adam. I mean, she's barely mentioned in some texts but it would fit. How, I have no idea but it does fit that whole the first is important rubbish. She's the important figure in this but…why? There's so little written about her and almost none of it can even agree on who she was," Giles said, grabbing at one of the books and flipping through it muttering to himself the whole time.

"I'm a little more impressed with how Willow was able to beat you to that, Giles," Buffy said giving him an amused look.

Willow shrugged but managed to look up. "I sort of had an unfair advantage though."

"What's that?"

"Well, I'm Jewish for one," she said. "And, um, John may have mentioned something."

Giles stopped in the middle of turning the page while Buffy looked at her with her mouth close to hanging open. Careful not to let his emotions get the better of him, Giles calmly closed the book and looked at Willow. "John? John Taylor? He said something about Lilith that night? What exactly did he say?"

"That she was his mother," someone said from the library doors.

Turning as one, they looked to find Xander standing there with a soft smile on his face that was directed at Willow. He walked over but didn't make a move to touch her. It was a moment that Giles watched with interest as the two lifelong friends seem to communicate with nothing but their eyes. Something significant had changed the way Willow saw Xander and it seemed as if he wanted to make sure that there wasn't going to be any issues between them. Buffy seemed to had caught onto this as well and neither had said a word.

In the end, Willow latched onto Xander with a crushing hug that probably hurt the boy tremendously but he didn't make any move except to return it. She didn't cry, but her eyes where shut tight as they held each other. After a moment, Buffy did the same thing, though given her strength it wasn't any surprise that Xander yelped in pain. But when she made to move away he wrapped an arm around her as well.

"I think I should let myself get beaten up like this more often," Xander joked after they had broken their embrace. It earned him a thwack on the chest from Buffy, who became very sorry as he reminded her of his still injured ribs, but he still smiled.

He gingerly took a seat across from Giles and the two girls sat down as well. "I see that you've been doing some research, G-man. Find anything interesting about Lilith in there?"

"To be honest, I was a t a loss until Willow came in. You didn't exactly give me a lot to go on," Giles said slightly defensively.

Xander sighed and it looked as if the weight of the world was back on his shoulders. "No, I didn't. Sorry about that it's just…old habits die hard. I needed to clear my head before. I wasn't exactly thinking too straight."

"You mean like leaving the hospital before they discharged you?" Buffy shot.

"Yea, something like that," he grinned. "But, I'm OK now. Really, I am. There's just a lot rattling around in the old noodle."

"I take it that these are the things you wanted to discuss with us, then. What exactly happened and what's going on?" Giles asked.

Xander looked around the table and nodded. "Yea, it is. This, um, it may take a while."

"We have time," Giles told him.

Taking a breath, Xander started to explain as best he could. It was going to take a lot longer then one day to explain it all, if he even did explain it all, but he was going to give them at least an overview. He couldn't help but chuckle though as after two minutes everyone's mouth was actually hanging open as he talked. Yea, this was going to be interesting.

**A/N:** I don't think I should I need to get into what Xander is telling them. It's basically an overview of the whole Nightside thing. However, if enough people want me to do it I will add it into the next chapter. If you haven't read the books yet (cough cough Redheadreader cough cough) then you may need it. So, let your reviews work for you and tell me if it should be there or not.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I have determined that I am no good at descriptive/back story chapters. So, deal with what you get in this. Anything that isn't explained will be if it's needed. I lied before, there will be more to this story. Let me know what you think. Enjoy people. Oh, and check out "Our Mr. Tam" By JMD-009. It's really fun and amusing.

**Disclaimer**: I own everything! I own these characters, and their stories and Fort Knox and a school bus. I own your homes, all of them! Yep, you heard right. I also own all the lawyers so don't even bother suing me. Enough with my insane rambling, on with the reading.

Xander had never been one to really get a laugh out of shocking other people into silence but it was becoming very hard not to burst out at the moment. He had just finished giving a very basic explanation of what the Nightside was, which didn't even scratch the surface of the place, and everyone was sitting there as still as statues and had been for the past five minutes. He watched as Giles opened his mouth to say something then stopped, closing it. OK, so maybe he was having a bit of fun seeing their reactions.

It didn't surprise him that Buffy was the first one to break the silence. "Xander...are you, um, feeling alright?"

Giving her a half smile he said, "Well, aside from the internal injuries and bruises, I'm just peachy."

"And they said your head was OK?"

"Buff, I'm not crazy," Xander sighed. "The Nightside is a very real and very dangerous place. Ask Willow, she was with John when he was here. Some of the people in Sunnydale know about it and have been there," Xander told her, looking over to Willow for back-up.

The red head snapped out of her shock and nodded. "It's true. Spike even met John."

"Great, so where going to be taking Spike's word on this?" Buffy said unbelievably.

Raising his hand slightly to get everyone's attention, Giles looked at Xander. "Xander, you can understand how this might seem...a bit unbelievable to us. What your suggesting i-i-is incredible. My own investigation into this place turned up nothing but dead ends which does suggest that a place called the Nightside does in fact exist but still. Maybe if you tried explaining it again. The Nightside is...?"

Sighing, the dark haired youth knew that he would probably have to explain some of these things several times but that didn't mean he wanted to. Still, at least they hadn't just thought he was crazy and ignored him.

"OK, the Nightside is a city in London. Well, sort of. It's been called the secret dark heart of London and is basically the place where all the really bad things live. Not like here or any other Hellmouth. This place is where the really wild things are. It's a city with teeth and claws and in the very literal sense. No one really knows how big the place is, it seems to ignore all the laws of space and, once in a while, time as well. You almost have to know about it in order to find it but it's not unheard of for people to stumble into the place.

"They whole concept of the Nightside is that it's the one place on Earth where Heaven and Hell can't interfere. I guess that they decided not to cause that never really made sense to me, but that's not important."

"Wait, Heaven and Hell? I mean, yea, we fight vampires and demons but..." Buffy said interrupting him but trailed off not knowing how to finish.

Knowing what she meant, Xander nodded his head, "Yea, Heaven and Hell. Which means that there's bound to be a God, capitol G there and Lucifer. But, well, god's, lower case g I guess, are a dime a dozen in the Nightside. There's a Street of God's actually where you can pick who and what you worship but there's no guarantee that you'll get anything out of it or that if you do you'll like it. Besides, it's not as if any of them are actually all that tough. God's are easy to deal with for the most part. A bribe here, and token offering there and they mostly stick to themselves. It's the Power's and the Dominations that I would worry about. Those are the real mover and shakers of the Nightside.

"You can find anything you want in the Nightside. You can find your salvation or damnation and everything in-between. Every sin and appetite that you could think of and so many more that you never could fathom is there being sold and traded. The prices vary but often times it's a bit of your soul or at least somebody else's. It's the place you go to because the normal sane everyday world just can't cater to the appetites of some people."

Xander got quiet, lost in thought. Talking about the Nightside like this was bringing up a lot of memories of John's life that cut right through Xander. Watching too many people, some friends and some that weren't, brought down by the very fact that they lived in the Nightside not to mention how many people he had gotten killed. It hurt to think about them and all the people that where in pain in that place and he knew that John stayed there for that very reason as well as the fact that he didn't belong anywhere else. John had only admitted it to himself very rarely but one of the advantages of living inside someone's head was that it gave you a very interesting perspective on their life. He saw the choices that he had made and why when sometimes even John didn't know. But, the down side was that Xander had felt everything and was just as torn up over the same things that John was.

"Xander?" Willow asked tentatively, pulling Xander from his inner thoughts.

"What? Oh, sorry. Got lost there for a second. Where was I?"

Giving him a concerned look, Giles said, "We can stop if you like for a moment. If you need to collect your thoughts, no one is going to push you."

"No. It's alright. Besides, there's a lot to cover. I'm trying to condense something that can't really be explained without seeing it for yourselves and there is no way in hell or any other place that I'm going to be taking you guys there," Xander said, trying to emphasize his last point.

"I'm the Slayer, Xander. Whatever's there can't be all that tough. Show up, do a few beheading's and that's that. It seems as if every bad thing out there is afraid of the Slayer and I bet if these people or, you know, not people, have heard of me there wouldn't be any trouble," Buffy said.

Shaking his head, Xander couldn't help but let a grim smile cross his face. "Buffy, the last Slayer that walked into the Nightside looking for a fight lasted all of two minutes and that was only because they wanted to see what she would do. They weren't impressed and since they weren't going to be getting any kind of entertainment from her they took her off and sold her part for part like she was a stolen car. No one knows what happened to all the pieces, though there was a restaurant that did a really good stew that same night. The Slayer isn't a threat to the things and people of the Nightside, she's a joke.

"Guys, this is a place where Gods, Monsters and things that are nothing and everything at once walk around without a care in the world. Some of the things that I've...that John's gone up against would give you nightmares from here to the end of time," Xander said then added softly, "I know they have for me."

A slight pressure on his leg made Xander look down and he saw Willow's hand there giving him a reassuring squeeze. A time ago, he would have dismissed it as being something that was only friendly in nature. Now, he was pretty sure that there was something more to it. The only problem was what to do about it. His own emotions where a mess at the moment but in his mind it had been so long since he had seen his friends or felt any kind of human contact that he welcomed it without hesitation. But, it still left a problem that he wasn't able to deal with at the moment. He had to keep going or else he would get side tracked and never get to the real issues. So, giving her a warm smile he went on, though neither of them made a move to remove her hand from his thigh.

"Even with all of these things going about there's a certain…group that takes it upon themselves to oversee the workings of the city. There's no law really except what people enforce on themselves but really it's whatever you can get away with. But, if there seems to be someone who's threatening the safety of the whole place or that might upset the status quo then the Authorities step in and take care of it. Well, they man that they put in charge does and that man is Walker. Willow already met him. Looked sort of carefree but powerful? Wore a bowler hat and the city suit? Anyway, he's a real bastard. He'll do whatever needs to be done and sacrifice anyone and anything to keep things running smoothly. He has the power to make anyone do whatever he says, no one says no to Walker. They say that he once made a corpse sit up and answer his questions. Actually, that's a lie."

"I would hope so! To be able to command anyone to do whatever he says? The urge to misuse that ability would be far too great," Giles looked concerned and with good reason.

"No, not that. He can and has done it. He's the voice of the Authorities. But I meant that there has been one person to disobey him, well, two actually. John and Lilith. Walker tried to use his voice on John during the Angel War but John fought it off," Xander answered.

"Angel War?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Listen, the Nightside is complicated enough but John is the important person in all this," Xander said ignoring the question. It was far too much to get into it now. "I meant exactly what I said before, Lilith is John's mother. And by Lilith I do mean the first wife of Adam who gave God the finger and went off into Hell and gave birth to pretty much all the demons that walked around on Earth and made it their personal playground for a while. Don't ask me what it really means. She kept saying that it was only a parable and that we couldn't get the complete story since we had itty bitty human minds and all, but I know she did do the whole demon birth thing. I'm not sure exactly what happened for a while after that but at some point Lilith created the Nightside."

"She built the Nightside? She's been walking around since...since that time and had this place built?" Giles asked taking off his glasses and polishing them.

"Um, not exactly. She created it herself, not built it. She sort of...thought about it real hard and poof, there it was. Well, she more stamped it unto reality but you get the idea. This was a long time ago. Before mankind was even a gleam in the universes eye," Xander explained.

"Oh, right. Of course," Giles said softly, looking off into nothing, his glasses still in his hand.

"Look, this is a lot to take in, I know. I wouldn't have believed it if someone walked up to me and started talking about it but it doesn't make it any less true." Xander was surprised at how short his patience was and he found himself having to bite back any sarcasm or harsh remarks. He had been so used to everyone knowing about the Nightside while he was inside of John's head and trying to explain to outsiders was getting on his nerves. He wasn't used to playing things soft either. The Nightside was a place where the hard and strong survived and most of the time that meant being nastier and meaner than anyone else. It was something John had taught him and something he was finding hard to shake off.

He then realized something that hadn't occurred to him. Sure, he knew that he was different from the rest of his friends now. For one thing, he could do things that none of them could and had knowledge that would more than likely prove to be very useful to them. But, he now came to find out just how removed he was from them. He didn't fit in with their bright shiny world where everything could be fought back and the heroes won because they where the heroes. Good people die and there's no reason for it sometimes. It was usually chaos in real life but they didn't know that. How could they? Giles, he knew but he was trying to keep them above that sort of thing. Trying to set an example and shield them from the ugly truth. Again, he pushed the thoughts from the forefront of his mind and put it with the other things he would have to deal with later.

"So, this Lilith person just said 'I want a city' and it happened?" Buffy asked, though she still seemed a bit skeptical.

"A bit more forceful, but yea. I won't even get into the fact that Lilith isn't really a person at this point but that's pretty much how it went. She got pushed out by her children because she was too controlling. She wanted freedom but only her kind of freedom. Skip forward an untold number of millenniums and Lilith got out of whatever pocket dimension she had been pushed into. She met up with John's father, had John with the intent purpose of using him to find the perfect version of the Nightside and help her to create it. This is about thirty years after he was born, mind you. He didn't take kind to it especially since he never knew her since she had left and his dad drank himself to death.

"A war happened, nearly destroyed the whole Nightside and would have destroyed...everything actually," Xander's face grew cold and hard. "I mean that. Not just the Nightside was at stake. Not even just the world. It was everything, the whole of existence could have been destroyed..."

His mind flashed to the vision of a possible future John had been too. Everything was dead except for some of the more powerful Power's and Dominations which had been severely reduced. Well, them and a these bug type creatures and a few of Lilith's children that where nothing more than giant crushing...things. There were no words to describe them but he could never forget what they looked like. The universe and everything in it was dying and it had been his and John's fault. He said it like that because he knew that he would have done exactly what John had done in most situations and more importantly, knew why they both had and would have done them. But the simple fact that trying to find out who his mother...John's mother was had almost ended existence was a sobering thought.

"But, obviously it wasn't. I mean, if it was we wouldn't be here," Willow said, giving him a sort of comforting smile. It was strained and fragile but it was there. She had seen what John was like and had heard some of this and it probably wasn't helping the fact that she was associating his face with everything that had happened that night. But, he gave her points for trying.

"Nope, world still spins and wackiness still ensues," he joked.

"Wait, so why is John so important? If this Lilith was so powerful then why couldn't she find out how to make the Nightside? Why him?" Giles asked, his face one of seriousness and concern. Hearing about the end of everything almost happened probably having something to do with it.

Taking a badly needed breath, Xander prepared himself. Now, things were going to get interesting. "Well, John is special. I mean, his mother is freakin' Lilith so it was bound to happen. She made it so that way he would have one gift from her, something that she would need him to have. Something that she herself, didn't and couldn't do. John can find things and by that I mean anything. People, objects, sources of power and sometimes, the answers to questions. It's different how it works depending on what it's being used to find but it works. It can be blocked, sure, but that doesn't mean he can't find it. Some things are harder to find then others. The vaguer the thing he's trying to find, the harder it is to locate."

"Oh! That's what he did! At Willie's place this demon came up to us with a gun and he was all like, whoosh! Then he made all the bullets fall out of his hands," Willow said with a bit of excitement in her voice.

"The bullet thing? That wasn't anything special," Xander said with a small snort. "That's just some trick he learned. It works on other things then bullets but it has nothing to do with John's gift. It's just something that comes in handy and is flashy enough to make people think twice."

"He can teleport things? That's amazing!" Giles said impressed.

"Not really," Xander replied with a smile. "It's a parlor trick, really. Not teleportation in the sense that you guys are thinking. It's more like it's somewhere one minute and somewhere else the next. John's not even sure exactly how it works but it really is damn useful. His gift is more powerful then something like that. He's destroyed more things with just the power of his gift then any army or weapon could hope to."

With a noise of disbelief Buffy said, "Please. Xander, this is a bit much, don't you think? I mean, let's say that this is all real, which I'm still not sure about cause don't you think we would have heard about it by now? But, let's say it is. How would being able to find something be that powerful? Unless he's got some mystical whatsit that makes him uber-strong then couldn't I just knock his head off if I wanted too?"

Anger and annoyance hit Xander suddenly, which he chalked up to Buffy both not believing him still and the fact that she was questioning his, well, John's gift. Something that had spelled disaster for anyone who didn't believe the stories about it. Xander knew better then to get into it with her, though. The old Xander would have let his emotions and anger take over but he knew how to handle things like this thanks to John. Unfortunately, that meant scarring Buffy a bit which in the short term would be bad for their relationship but hopefully in the long run keep her and him alive a bit longer.

"Buffy, think about," he started and leaned forward towards her. "The gift he has can find _anything_. That anything includes the thing that makes you the Slayer. The thing that gives you your strength and skill and everything that comes with it. Basically, the source of the Slayer's power. Now, I don't know how ingrained it is with who you are or how hard it would be to find it but the point is that he could and given how long he's had to practice, it probably wouldn't take very long if he had a clear head. Once he found it, how hard do you think it would be for him to reach out with that gift and, oh, I don't know, pull it away and leave you as a normal girl? Sure, you can try and kill him but believe me when I say that stronger things have tried and he's still standing while those other things? Not so much."

The room grew silent. Willow's hand, still on Xander's leg, unconsciously gripped tighter. Giles mouth opened slightly and stayed that way. Not even breathing could be heard in the room as Buffy stared at Xander. Doing something that he had yet to do with the Slayer, he returned her gaze and held it but was careful not to try and put anything into the look. He wasn't sure how that would work, being that he was only aware of a few things he had gained from John, but he didn't want to test it with Buffy. He didn't want what happened to Ethan to happen to Buffy, if not something worse.

Still, she wasn't prepared for Xander to not back down. She had been used to the Xander of old who was good natured, goofed around and had a thing for her. This Xander didn't seem to have any of that at the moment. He was harder then steel and colder then ice. Not in a mean way, just more in a resolved way. The few seconds of intensity in the room did allow for what he had told her to sink in and it hit her that if someone could do that, then it wasn't something to scoff at. She backed down, sort of slumped in her chair, and said, "Oh."

Just like that, the heavy electric like tension in the air was gone and everyone started breathing again.

"Dear Lord, Xander, you can't be serious, can you? Th-th-that kind of power in the hands of anyone, let alone the child of someone like Lilith would lead to chaos!" Giles exclaimed.

Turning, Xander gave the Watcher an exasperated look. "Come on! What have I been going over here. John is good people, you guys. If he wasn't, don't you think we would tell by us either being dead or enslaved or something. Besides, there are plenty of more powerful...things then John Taylor, despite what the rumors say. At the end of the day, he's just a guy."

"You have to admit though, it is pretty scary to think that someone could do all that stuff...that any of what you've been talking about is real," Willow said. She had removed her hand and was rubbing her arms now. Not to keep warm but it looked almost as if she was trying to stop her skin from crawling from whatever it was that her mind had conjured up for her, making Xander sympathized with her.

"It is, I know. But John isn't someone to worry about, trust me," Xander told them.

Happening to look over at Buffy, Xander caught her eye as she looked at him quizzically. It wasn't the same look she had been giving him that said she didn't believe him. No, this one was as if something was starting to get pieced together in her head and Xander had a feeling that it was something that was going to be the defining moment of this conversation between all of them.

"Xand,...how do you know all of this? You spent one night as this guy and suddenly you seem like you're an expert on the place. Some of the things you've said...some of the stories and people you've hinted at couldn't have been learned all in one night and even if it was, no one else can remember anything about their personalities at this point. And...I don't mean to bring this up but, well, I don't think any of us can't tell that you've been drinking. I'm just...it's confusing and I'm worried a bit. You had it worse than any of us that night and I just don't want to think that…that you might have maybe gone…crazy."

He looked around and noticed that everyone was now giving him that same questioning and worried expression. In Willow's case, it almost seemed doubled on the worried factor while Giles looked more on the questioning side. Buffy, even if she may be starting to believe him, looked like she also might jump up and hit him if he made a wrong move. It might have to do with her Slayer thing and the fact that he knew he wasn't acting like himself or rather, the him that they were used to. He couldn't blame them really. Not too long ago he would have thought crazy or possession or something like that.

"OK, time for the real fun stuff," he said standing up. He didn't bother looking but could feel Buffy's eyes follow him watching in case he made a move to do something that might be harmful. "Something, um, well, happened that night. Something else and it's not something that I fully understand yet.

"Alright, just say it and it will be out there, right?" Taking a few more steadying breathes he said, "I, um, sort of spent thirtyyearsinsideofJohn'sheadwatchinghislifeandnowIcandoeverythinghecando," he said in one quick go which rivaled Willow babble while closing his eyes.

After a few seconds he opened them slightly and saw that everyone was looking at him expectantly.

"Come on! You're gonna tell me that no one has anything to say to that?" Xander cried out throwing his hands up. "I tell you guys that and you all just look at me like you're waiting for me to do something special. What? You want a demonstration?"

"Um, sure, I guess. But can you finish what you were going to say first?" Buffy asked giving him a weird look.

"Huh?"

"You said that you where just going to say it, whatever it is, and then you just stood there," Willow told him.

Stopping, Xander replayed the moment in his head and realized that he had in fact said all of that in his own head. Laughing nervously at his own idiocy, Xander took a breath and started to explain.

* * *

After several hours of one of the strangest conversation Xander had ever had, while in his own body anyway, everyone decided that they needed a break. Giles had been floored by what he had told them and even more when he actually gave them a small demonstration. It was probably a mixture of what he had done as well as finding out about the Nightside. Giles was born and raised in England and had thought he had known everything there was to know about London and all its secrets. He was wrong, of course, and it was giving him much to think about.

Buffy had reacted better than he had hoped and didn't try to kill him. He had really been afraid that she would just try and beat him right then and there given what he could do now but she hadn't. He should have known better then to think that of her, though it might have also been due to how he had shaken her a bit with his whole "rip away what makes you, you" thing. He _had _meant to scare her, just not of him. She was wary, of course and equally freaked out but she didn't jump at him with a stake or any other sharp object so he counted it as a good thing. Still, he probably had to be careful around her in case she thought he was slipping or turning evil or whatnot.

He had been most scared about Willow. She had been distant with him ever since Halloween. Sure, she tried to hide it but Willow lacked anything that even remotely had to do with a poker face. It hurt him more then he let on but he couldn't dwell on it. Not at first anyway. There was too much going on for him to worry about and he had to force it out of his mind. However, once he did get his head straight and figured out what he was going to do it was all that had been on his mind. The entire walk to the school had him running scenarios of how things would go. If it hadn't been for the years of steeling himself, or rather John steeling himself up for things, he probably never would have walked through the doors. But then she had grabbed him into that crushing hug and no matter how painful the hug had been for him physically, it had taken a lot off of his mind and had brought him back mentally somewhat.

Of course, that had been when he was only talking about what the Nightside in an explanatory sort of way. When it became time to tell them the part about the fact that he could now do what John could do as well as his thirty year vacation in John's head, it got a bit more complicated. Then again, how could you explain that you lived for thirty years inside of someone else's head while experiencing every thought, emotion and deed they did while still being yourself at the same time? Needless to say, it was confusing for everyone involved as well as a bit scary. Things only got worse when he explained about his 'gift'. No one believed him, thinking that it was maybe some sort of residual memory or something. Buffy even reminded him of the alcohol that he smelled of. They stopped disbelieving him and started freaking out when he showed off just the trick John had known and made Willow's white stockings appear in his hand and earning himself several smacks from a blushing and embarrassed red head.

When they asked for a demonstration of the gift, Xander had been a bit reluctant at first. He knew that something had been watching and had even attacked John when he had used it here and while nothing had done the same to him when he tried it out a few times, it was still a concern. So, he winked at Giles, reached over and grabbed his arm. Before Giles could ask him what he was doing, Xander opened up his third eye and started looking for what he wanted. Giles saw it the same way he did which was the whole point.

The whole of Sunnydale was before them at first in that bluish ethereal glow he was used to when he searched for a person. As if going in fast forward the speed through the streets till an apartment complex, similar to Giles's came into view. The image stopped in front of it and Xander could tell that Giles recognized it at once. Again, the image speed onward through the wall and into the living room and the image of Jenny Calendar was seen sitting on her couch with a laptop resting on her knees. Xander gave her credit since she actually stiffened and looked around as they watched her. But, without finding anything, she went back to whatever she was doing and Xander shut down the gift and the image disappeared leaving them in the library once again. Buffy and Willow kept asking what had happened but Xander didn't say and Giles needed a moment.

After all of that, they needed a breather and that's exactly what Xander was doing. Breathing. He walked to the top of the school and was out on the roof looking out over the town. He started to wonder what kind of idiot left the roof door unlocked when he remembered the town he lived in. Still, you would think that someone would have some sort of common sense.

A cool breeze sent a shiver down his spine despite the protection the coat gave him. As he pulled it tighter he heard the squeak of the door being pushed open and someone coming out to join him.

"Hey, mister," Willow said as she settled next to him.

"Hey, Will's," he said, giving her a small smile. "Aren't you cold?"

"Just my legs," Willow said, turning slightly red while giving him a mocking glare.

Xander winced and help up his palms out in defense. "Hey, I needed to do something to get you guys to believe me and Buffy hits _way_ harder than you do."

"Pervert," she said playfully.

Both teens where silent for a while as they enjoyed the night air and each other's company. After a few minutes, Xander spoke up. "So, on a scale from one to ten I think this is what? A hundred thousand on the weird-o-meter?"

"Yea, something like that," she said still staring out on the town. "How'd you manage it? I mean everything that happened and that's happening now it's...it's a lot. I mean, it's a lot to deal with and take in but you're still walking around a joking like it's nothing."

"Yea, it's a lot and it's not nothing. It's definitely a something, alright. But, it's not so bad. Being here I mean. There are, well, actually there's too many memories of what happened with John that I would gladly make go away but...but I can't. So, I focus on the other things, the not so ugly things in life that I can find. Corny, I know, but it's the truth," Xander told her.

She giggled slightly, "Now you're starting to sound like an old man," then she suddenly stopped.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Xander, you lived for thirty years inside of John's head. You're...you're forty-seven!" Willow said turning and staring at him in shock.

He nodded, giving her a half smile. "You figured that one out too, huh? But, it's not as easy as that. I'm still me just...me with a whole of more years in me then before. Alright, alright. It's more then I'm letting on but it's not as if I'm really forty-seven!" he said as she looked at him. "If anything it's more like I'm thirty. That really doesn't sound any better, does it?"

"Not really, no," she told him. "But, hey, at least you're not as old as Angel, right? I mean, that's something."

Xander snorted but appreciated his friend trying to cheer him up but it was something that wasn't going to happen. This was exactly what had hit him in the library. The age difference, the experiences and memories that he had now where going to cause a change between him and his friends. His personality was different and he knew it. The things he had done, felt and, to some degree, did, had changed him in ways that they wouldn't like. Sure, there were some pretty interesting skills that came along with less than shiny new personality but he doubted they would take it in stride when some of the darker aspects came out. He could suppress it, maybe, but for how long? Something would come along at some point where he would need to do something that none of them could do, something that they shouldn't be able to do and then what? He had seen the worst of the worst and he would never be the same.

Hell, he couldn't even remember any of the mundane stuff after, in his mind anyway, being away for three decades. Things like his locker combination, what he was taking and where the classes where and all those little things where hard to remember if you're not doing it every day. Not that it would matter really anymore, but it was still unsettling to try and fake it.

"Will's, there's a bit more," he said growing somber. "You where there when Cheerful-"

"Who?"

"Oh, sorry. The Mayor, sort of a nickname John came up with. Anyway, you where there when he was trying to goad John with talk about more of Lilith's children being here. I don't think he was lying about it, I really think that there may be something or maybe several something's here that are related to John. His gift has a problem that I didn't share with Giles or Buffy yet, Will's. When he uses it, I don't know why, but it brings him to the attention of some things that it would be better if he didn't. Really powerful and strong things that could crush Buffy and make the things we've gone up against look like finger puppets.

"When John was here that night, back in Ethan's shop when he used his gift one of those things caught sight of him and hit him pretty hard. I've got a bad feeling that it might be one of Lilith's little bastard's out there and even if it's not then it's still something that I really don't think we want breathing down all of our necks."

"But, John fought off anything that came after him, right? I mean, he's still alive and if he beat them then can't you? You can do the things he can do plus we can help if anything comes along," Willow told him, fear for her friend's safety showing through.

"He had help, Will's. Not just help but a good deal of luck. Also, if they could be believed, he had some pretty powerful people watching out for him when he was a kid." Shaking his head slightly, he gave her a serious look, "Not that I know that you guys won't help me if I need it but it's not fair. Buffy has got more than enough to deal with without that on her and you know it. She can't be everywhere and if she's busy trying to find whatever is doing this then what will happen to everyone else out there? The vampires and demons in this town will run rampant and innocent people would get hurt. Besides, it's too dangerous for her or for any of you."

"Beside that being the dumbest reason ever, don't you think that should be my choice?" Buffy said from the doorway.

Xander and Willow turned to face her and only then realized how close they had been getting as they were talking. They weren't facing each other but their shoulders where getting very close and it was more then simple contact. Willow blushed slightly but Xander only smiled sadly, knowing that it was something he would have to make up his mind about and soon.

Walking over to them, Buffy shivered in the cold and gave her Xander a light smile. "Did you listen to me when I told you to stay out of it when you found out about the things that go bump in the night?"

"No, but-"

"So what makes you think that I'm going to do that, huh? I don't care what the hell these things are that you're talking about. If they're in my town and going after my friends then they have to answer to me, got it?"

"That goes for me too, buster. I don't care how old you are in that head of yours," Willow told him in full serious face.

"I'm not gonna say that what you've said isn't enough to wig me out but you're my Xander shaped friend and I want to keep you that way."

"You saying you believe me now?" Xander asked, giving her his own grin.

Hitting his arm lightly, Buffy said, "Let's just say that if any of my clothing end up missing from my body, I know who to kill."

Xander started to laugh a little until Willow thwacked him in the arm several times again, still slightly embarrassed about what he had done. He wanted to be happy about the fact that they were so understand and trying to be helpful but he wasn't. Instead he was frustrated and angry that they didn't understand anything they had been talking about for the past few hours. If they didn't grasp it then they were going to end up dead. He couldn't explain it to them anymore though. There weren't any simpler way he could say it to them. Instead of blowing up at them, he let the anger inside of him get bottled up and he put on a warm smile to show his thanks not daring to say anything knowing that he would probably yell at them both for being so foolish.

"I think we should get going. Big day tomorrow what with career day starting up. Any idea what you guys are gonna get?" Buffy asked as they headed back inside.

"Nope. But, I'm not gonna freak out over it," Willow replied.

"Hey, that's good, Will's. Glad to see you're finally starting calm down and enjoy life a bit," Buffy told her.

Willow nodded in agreement. "Yep. I'm going to hold off on freaking out until tomorrow."

Groaning Buffy turned to Xander for support but the young man, still distracted merely shrugged. "Hey, at least she's improving. It's a start."

* * *

Angel was getting annoyed and it was causing him to get very angry. Someone had started spreading word around town that was causing major ripples throughout the underworld community. Vampires, demons, wizards, witches and things he didn't really know how to classify all were talking about it. It amazed him that it had gotten around town this fast even with the way demons talked but still, this was something special. Once he had heard what had gotten everyone's attention he beat the hell out of the demon who he had over heard it from till he found out who told him. He had spent the rest of the night going down the line doing pretty much the same thing. He had been pointed in several directions and it was getting a bit tiresome.

It was insane what he was hearing and he was starting to fear that it might be some kind of retaliation on the Mayor's part. It was definitely an odd way to do it but it wouldn't prove to be any less lethal and damaging if people took it seriously. In a way, it was perfect though since no one would ever be able to really connect it to him. It would all be some kind of terrible mistake caused by Halloween and that would be the end of it.

So now Angel was in the sewers beating the crap out of a vampire who he had heard was the source of the rumor. It was a good way to burn off some of the annoyance he was feeling and hopefully get some information. OK, so maybe it wasn't as tiresome as he had thought.

Slamming the shorter vampire into the sewer wall, Angel made sure to shove his head into it one more time before keeping it pressed up against it. "Tell me what I want to know and I'll stop hurting you. Though I have to say, this is really helping me work out my anger issues."

Mumbling something unintelligible due to his face being smothered by a brick wall. Growling, Angel let up then smashed his head again and dropped him to the floor.

"Let's try this again. We both know that you're one of the things that are going around to anyone willing to listen and I want to know why and you're going to tell me," Angel said in a low, dangerous voice.

The vampire, who was clearly only turned a few years ago at most and nothing more than a minion at best, coughed and looked up at Angel with his yellow eyes. "You can beat me up as much as you want but I'm not talkin'. Anything you do to me would be better then what I would get if the boss finds out I squealed."

Lashing out with his foot, Angel caught the vampire under his chin as he tried to get up sending him tumbling on the floor. "Well, I always did like a challenge. Let's see what I can do first and then you can tell me what's worse. Me or the Mayor. From what I've heard he's been doing this nearly as long as I have."

"The Mayor? What-" the vampire started to say before Angel hauled him to his feet.

Punching him three times in quick succession Angel lifted him off the ground growling. "Yes, the Mayor! I know that he's the one behind this and I want to know what he's planning with this. What, does he just want every demon and no good piece of scum gunning for him, is that it? Is there something else he wants out of this or is he just being petty? Huh? Answer me!"

The vampire screamed out in pain as he was slammed into the wall again and held there by the exposed pipe no sticking out of his shoulder. "Hold on! Wait! What the hell are you talking about? I work for Spike, man. Just...just let me down alright and I'll talk. Christ!"

Angel made no move to get him down and instead slowly pulled his opposite arm sideways earning him another scream from the thing. "Spike? What does Spike have to do with this?"

"ARG! He...he said to go around and spread the word!" the vampire hissed through clenched teeth. "Said to let everyone know. Come on man, this is really fucking painful!"

"What else did Spike say?" Angel asked, not letting up.

"That's it! I swear it! He doesn't share his plans with me. Just said to go around and give people the news and that we were to lay off the kid for now!"

Angel stopped and looked him in the eyes. "That's it? Nothing else?"

Nodding, the vampire started breathing deeply as the pain subsided to bearable.

"Good," Angel said. Taking a stake from his coat he plunged it into the vampires heart, turning him to dust. He wasn't going to get anything else from him and doubted he knew anything else anyway.

This made things infinitely more complicated. As far as Buffy had told him, Spike had actually volunteered to go along with Xander when he was possessed that night. Angel only had a vague notion of the Nightside and who John Taylor was. He had been going insane from having his soul for the better part of a hundred years and only heard bits and pieces. Before that, Darla had told him about the place but she didn't care for it so they never went. Besides, there were so many things to do in the regular world to keep them busy. Spike had of course been different but that didn't explain why he was doing this.

If he had been a willing participant then why go out of his way to try and bring down Xander and why this way? It wasn't like Spike to play games. Well, not if he wanted someone dead. He was a much more hands on type of person and would rather break down a wall and kill everyone inside then sneak in and slit your throat. This was different and that made it that much more dangerous.

He would have to wait till he spoke to Buffy and the others before confronting Spike. In a one-on-one he probably still held the upper hand but it had been a while since he had really been back in the game. Besides, it wouldn't be only Spike. Dru and however many minions would also be at wherever they were hiding and he couldn't take them all on.

No, he would have to play it smart and for the time being gather information and, as much as it might annoy him, watch Xander's back. It would take time to track them down even after he told Buffy what was going on now.

Sighing, he stuffed the stake back into his coat and made his way through the tunnels. Stuffing his hands into his pockets his hand brushed against the small, rectangular stiff paper that had brought this to his attention. He took it out and glared, unable to figure it out. It simply read:

**XANDER HARRIS**

**Private Investigator**

That was all. No number or any kind of contact information. Why the hell would Spike go to all the trouble of making up business cards for Xander if he just wanted to kill him?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Hey there one and all. I can't believe I actually updated so soon. It's a miracle. Well, hope you enjoy it and things are no picking up. I wanted to say a thank you Ironbear for his review and conversation. I wanted to point out, like I told Ironbear, this is not a Super Xander story. He won't save the day and will probably end up screwing things up more. He will still be Xander just a bit…darker. Living more in the gray side of life, as it were. So, enjoy and remember to tip your waiters and waitresses…or just review. One of those.

"Business cards?! Are you serious? What the hell, Spike! I said to just ask around and see if there was anything I could do, if anyone needed what I could do," Xander hissed, looking around nervously to make sure no one was looking at him anymore. Once again, he garnered some attention when he had walked into Willie's Place.

Spreading out as much as he could in the booth, Spike smiled exhaling smoke through his teeth. "What are you complaining about, whelp? You said spread the word and I did. In fact, the way I see it, you owe me. Do you know how hard it was to find someone to make those damn things?"

Giving the blonde vampire an exasperated look, Xander blinked a few times and took a large drink from the glass in front of him. He should probably be worried about this becoming a habit for him but somehow he felt...comfortable with it. Not with it becoming habit forming but what he was doing. Sitting in a bar, a demon bar no less, having a drink to calm nerves that it seemed would never stop would have seemed downright crazy a few years ago but now it seemed right somehow. With John going to Strangefellow's all the time though probably had something to do with it. Then again, after the day he had he probably would have ended up here or somewhere just like it without any help.

It had started off well enough, all things considered. After only a couple hours of sleep, Xander had woken up. He hadn't bothered with trying to go back to sleep, the nightmares kept him from getting more than that. Still, he wasn't that bothered by it and was actually pretty OK when he had woken up. With his slightly good mood keeping him going, Xander grabbed the few things he needed and after as well as the white trench coat. It was mid-November so it might not look too silly on him. It was different and would draw attention to him, but he felt defenseless without it, naked.

Everything had been fine until he actually got to school. Apparently, he had missed a few things while he had been laid up in the hospital. A vampire had broken into the library one night and had stolen some book of Giles. It also happened to be around the same time that some friend of Buffy's came to town and tried to offer her up to Spike in exchange to be to be turned. Giles seemed to think that while the two weren't connected exactly, Spike was likely suspect to go after the book. Whatever the reason was, it wasn't likely to end in rainbows and kittens.

The day wouldn't have been all that bad except that Angel had been by the library looking for him. To say the least, it was disconcerting that he had shown up in the daytime, something he only would have done if it was an emergency, but he had come looking for Xander. Not Buffy or Giles, Xander. The guy who had given him a hard time since day one and never let him forgets that beneath everything, he was still a killer. Of course, Xander hadn't been there but Angel had left him an envelope containing a note that just said "We need to talk" and one of the business cards with his name on it. He didn't tell anyone what was in it, not that they weren't curious. Xander had passed it off as nothing knowing that no one believed it but they let it go.

It had taken all of three seconds to think about who had done it and that was one of the reasons he found himself back in Willie's place sitting across from Spike. They had already agreed to meet back here. Spike had of course wanted something in return from him for spreading the word and having his own minions lay off him for a bit.

"Spike, I really, really, and I can't stress this part enough, _really_ do not care. This is so not what I meant by talk to a few people," Xander moaned and only barley kept himself from hitting his forehead on the table out of frustration.

"Will you quit it already?" Spike said as he stabbed out the cigarette. "You're the one who said you wanted people to know that you where offering up your services. I just went ahead and helped get it out there a bit faster is all."

"Do you know what this is going to do?" Xander leaned towards Spike, wide eyed.

Snorting, Spike said, "Well, yea, of course I did. What do you take me for? Everyone in the whole damn demon community is going to have heard about you by now thanks to me. You said you wanted to get started and now you'll have plenty of customers."

"Not to mention anyone who wants to kill me just for the hell of it. Attention isn't something I was looking for! I said to _quietly_ ask around, not shout it out and paint a target on my head," Xander hissed again not wanting to yell and draw any more attention to himself.

Spike sat back and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Huh. Hadn't thought about it like that. Oh well," he shrugged.

"Oh well? Oh well?! Spike, you're going to get me killed!"

Leaning forward, Spike said, "Oh, come off it. You're just lucky I haven't killed you myself. Everyone else may be getting their knickers in a twist at the sight of you since that night but I was there, remember? If I didn't have a use for you I'd have drained you dry and left you on the Slayers doorstep by now. You want to go off and play John Taylor, I could care less. It'll give me something to laugh about when you end up dead."

The two of them looked at each other for a while. Spike with a mixture of mirth and annoyance while Xander just looked worried but was trying hard to cover it up. Xander new he shouldn't have trusted him but he didn't have a choice. For what he wanted to do, what he needed to do, he had to get someone who had connections to help him out. So far it was turning out just like everything else in his life and going completely wrong.

"And what the hell is that smell? What you do, fall into a dumpster or something?" Spike asked wrinkling his nose and moving back a bit.

Waving his hand in a dismissing fashion, Xander told him, "Look, let's just get this done, alright?"

"Well, look at the big man," Spike said chuckling. "Alright then, let's get down to business."

Sighing, Xander nodded. It was the deal, after all. Spike got the word out and Xander did him a favor. In a way, it would be like his first case in Sunnydale. Nothing special, probably, just your usual find some treasure thing or whatnot. It may have been Spike but Xander was very specific about what he would and wouldn't do. He had standards and rules.

"Alright, so what the hell do you need from me?" Xander asked, making sure to keep any fear out of his voice.

Smiling like a wolf, Spike leaned back fully into the booth. It was worrying that Xander, the look he got from Spike. Unfortunately, his feelings of concern weren't misplaced.

* * *

'_Damn it, damn it, damn it!'_ Xander thought as he walked through the cemetery. Spike had screwed him, he was sure of it. He didn't know how yet but he knew that he was definitely getting bent over on this one. Sure, all he really had to do was find something to decode that book that Spike stole from Giles but that just meant more trouble in the future. Apparently he felt that because he was doing this job for him it meant that he was involved and therefore he wouldn't say a word. Unfortunately, he was right.

The fact of the matter was that he _was_ doing a job for Spike. He had after all hired him in a way. It wasn't glamorous, though it usually never was when it came to cases, but it was still a case. Something that got instilled in him inside of John's head was a strong sense of morals when it came to a case. If he chose to hire out his services to someone, and it was always a choice, then he didn't work against them or revealed anything about the case unless he needed to in order to solve it. He knew that it was stupid to take the case from Spike but it was something that needed to be done. If it turned out that he was going to use whatever the hell was in that book against Buffy or anyone else he knew, then that changed things and despite the fact that it was likely the case, he wouldn't do anything till it happened.

The problem he was having was that Spike didn't know exactly what it was he was looking for. 'Something to make this blasted book make sense,' didn't exactly cut it. Drusilla had some sort of a vision but had gotten blocked before she could find out exactly what it was. It disturbed Xander to find out that a seer, albeit a crazy one, had been blocked from a vision. She had been laughing afterwards which only served to scare the hell out of Xander even more. Obviously he had been hesitant to open up his gift to find this thing that probably meant hijinks and death for everyone involved. Still, he bit the bullet and did it and was surprised when no outside force tried to crack his skull open or try to kill him. Or both actually. But, like everything so far, it didn't work out as planed either.

Since he didn't want to push himself he only used the tiniest bit of his gift and ended up getting some kind of white fuzz when he had tried to pin it down. As a result, all he got was a general direction unless he wanted to push harder which he definitely didn't. So, he went off to find the elusive decoder ring or book or whatever the magical whatsit was this time and had ended up in Greenwood Cemetery. He had been there for over an hour searching for some sort of clue and was so far coming up empty which wasn't making him happy. Add to that the fact that he kept thinking someone was following him, he was now angry, paranoid and he wasn't about to rule out schizophrenic considering everything that had happened. Oh, how he wished he was crazy sometimes. It would make everything else a whole lot easier to handle.

Stopping, Xander leaned against a large tombstone and tried to think. He didn't want to push his gift but so far he was coming up with nothing. If Spike had even given him a damn description he could have...what? Looked through Giles books or maybe asked around? Not likely. Looking through Giles books would mean explaining to Giles and the others what he was doing and he didn't have any contacts to ask. "If I was a mystical dohicky, where would I be?" Xander muttered in frustration.

It was late, not that he was going to sleep but he was tired and wasn't thinking clearly. He hadn't had any real rest since his stay at the hospital and that had been erratic and drug induced when it had worked.

'_How the hell did I think I could do this? John could do this, not me. John could do this with his eyes closed and standing on his head but I'm not John,'_ Xander thought bitterly. He kicked at a stray rock, sending it tumbling on the ground kill it hit a tree with a dull thunk.

It was no good. He tried to think about the possible ways to find this thing but in the end, he knew that he would have to push harder on his gift then he was comfortable with. It wasn't as if he had tried very hard before to begin with, not by a long shot, but it was as hard as he had wanted to. While with John he had experienced what happened when he opened his inner eye, his private eye to the outside forces. He saw what it looked like and experienced how it felt to push it open when need be. But when he did, it was the only time that he was cut off from John's emotions, from what it felt like to use it. Now he was getting to feel it and he knew why he wasn't able to get anything from John on it, there was no description for it, for what it felt like. It was as if he all of his emotions, all of his feelings came to the forefront of his mind when he opened up his mind, which explained how some things where able to get to him. His mind, all of it, was open up to whatever could see it and there were some very nasty things that could see him when he used it. Not the most comforting thought, but it was the truth.

Resigning himself to the fact that he would have to use his gift again, Xander took a few calming breathes to steady himself. When he was good and ready, he brought down the mental barriers he had learned to keep in place from John and started to bring up his gift. Slowly, the world that was hidden from everyday view sprang up before him. Ghost walked past him, too many to count, all were content to ignore him and continue to go about their own way. Monsters and things that couldn't be easily identified by the human eye also went by him, walking through the real world as if it weren't even there which for them, it probably wasn't. These too ignored him but that was more likely because he was too insignificant to matter to the likes of them.

Concentrating on what he wanted to find, he felt the same white snow as before. The feeling came from all around him this time, which he already knew meant he was in the right place. So he opened up his mind a bit more, sharpening his gift. It was like trying to see through fog but it was starting to lift. Whatever this thing was, it had something that was protecting it. No doubt some mystical shield to keep prying eyes and sticky fingers off of it. Deciding that it was all or nothing, he pushed further and finally it snapped into view. A cross, larger than most and looked like it was made of gold. Oh, and what fun. It was inside a mausoleum being held by a corpse.

Quickly, Xander shut down his gift and brought up his mental shields, breathing hard. There wasn't any strain in what he did. No, that had been easy. Something had frightened him. Right as he was getting ready to shut down his gift, there was something there, the same thing that had attacked John at Ethan's shop. It didn't go after him but Xander felt it watching him, smiling almost. Teeth and claws and...something else. Something wrong. It disturbed him and made him start looking around. Making sure nothing was behind him.

Doing a complete three-sixty, Xander didn't see anyone or anything around him. This is probably why he let out a scream that was completely unprofessional when he turned toward the mausoleum and almost ran into Angel.

"Jesus...Angel, what the hell?" Xander said panting. "I think I just died a little."

"Well you're gonna die a lot if you keep this up," Angel told him. His face was serious, scowling almost. His hands where inside his coats pockets while he stood there facing Xander.

Steadying his heart as best as he could, Xander returned the vampire's stare and was happy with himself that he didn't back down. They stood there, neither one making a move or saying anything. Xander matched the stance that Angel had.

After what seemed like forever, Angel finally spoke, his voice calm despite the words. "What the hell were you thinking, Harris? At first I thought that someone was setting you up but I've been following you, trying to watch your back actually till I knew what was going on. You did this though, didn't you?" Angel took his hands out and walked over to the tombstone Xander had been on before. "What is it, Harris? Why do this to yourself?"

"You want to specify that? There's been a few things that have been going on lately. Not all of them in my best interest but it'd be nice to know which one's got you all concerned," Xander said while turning to keep facing him.

Leaning on it much like Xander had been, he said, "You put yourself out there, you made yourself a target to everything that might want to come after you just too say they did. You're a lot of things but not stupid, well, not as stupid as this anyway. So, I can only assume that you're doing this to yourself for a reason."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Xander said coldly, giving the vampire a dark look.

"You wanna bet?" Angel asked his voice still steady. "Buffy explained to me what happened. You have all these thoughts running around in your head. Memories of a place that probably would be enough to make any sane person kill themselves at the very least. Racked with guilt over things that you didn't really do and things that you wish you had done. So now, what? You're taking chances that you can't back up and will probably end with you getting killed or worse. Probably end up hurting the people around you unless you've already started to make plans to distance yourself from them. Am I getting close?"

Xander didn't say anything, choosing to look away instead. He didn't know much about Angel's past besides the bit they had looked into in general. The damn soul thing probably did eat him up, not that Xander cared very much. As far as he was concerned, he deserved it. He was a monster and had done horrific things while he didn't have his soul. Well, at least that's what he had thought before. Now, he couldn't believe that, not after everything he had seen. He didn't like Angel, but he couldn't hate him. If anything, he almost pitied the guy in some ways. But he was still hitting far too close to home for Xander's liking.

"What do you want?" Xander sighed. "You didn't say anything to Buffy or Giles or else you wouldn't have left me that note. Also, I'm pretty sure Buffy would have beaten me till I was back in the hospital just to keep me from getting killed."

"I found out last night and I've been following you ever since, making sure that nothing happened to you. I get it that you're trying to do…something. I'm not sure what it is except maybe get yourself killed, but you're up to something. The thing that I really can't figure out is Spike. How does he fit into this? Word on the street is that he's the one letting everyone know about you. You made a deal with him, I know that much," Angel said matter of fact.

Spike was Xander's client, for all intensive purposes. He was a client and there where very strict rules about how he handled information about clients, at least that's what being with John had instilled in him. "Spike doesn't matter, Angel. It's not a problem, alright?"

"He's using you. As soon as you give him what he wants, he'll turn on you," Angel told him. "Of all the people around here, I thought you would have known better."

"Hey, just because I don't like him doesn't mean that we can't have something worked out," Xander said. "I'd just as soon wish he was dead as any other vampire," he said before adding, "Present company excluded."

"I know it may-wait, what?" Angel stopped and looked at Xander with confusion. "When the hell did you stop wanting me dead?"

Waving it away, Xander said, "Listen, I'm sort of on the clock here. Can we skip this whole thing and get right to the point where you tell me your going to go to Buffy about this or threaten to kill me or something like that?" He really was tired and while it was true he didn't wish death or undeath as it were, on Angel. He also didn't feel like having a heart to heart with him with him either.

Shaking off the momentary confusion, Angel gave him a sad look. "I'm not going to Buffy. Not yet."

Now it was Xander's turn to look confused. "OK, um, why not?"

Angel pushed off the tombstone and walked closer to Xander. He was moving softly, almost as if he was afraid that Xander might take any swift movement as a threat and bolt. Or was it something else? One of the questions going through Xander's head at the moment was if Angel was actually afraid of him or at the very least, cautious of what he could do. If even some of John's legend had bleed out into Sunnydale then it would explain why things where keeping some distance between them and him. It wasn't just Halloween and the Mayor, no, that couldn't be it completely. The things that went bump in the night didn't know what to make of Xander anymore.

But Angel also seemed concerned almost. Which was creepy on too many levels to count.

"I can smell it on you, you know. It's not hard after all. It's not a smell that you forget. The stench of rotting garbage and piss doesn't come off easily, not even after a shower and a change of clothes, Xander," Angel said, using his first name for the first time that night. "How long do you plan on sleeping in alleyways, huh?"

Xander couldn't help but look away in shame. He wasn't about to have this conversation. Not now, not with Angel. He didn't care if he had to sleep in an alley from now till the day he died. There was no force on Earth that was going to make him go back to that house. Watching John's father drink himself to death was bad and he wouldn't watch his own parent's do it while taking their abuse no less. Not now, not after the things he had been witness too and faced down in his own way.

He didn't answer. His throat was too tight with emotion. He started to walk past him till Angel's hand, firmly placed on his shoulder, stopped him.

"I'm not going to tell them," he repeated. "What you're doing is stupid and dangerous, but so far you're only going to hurt yourself. The second you do something that threatens Buffy or Willow or any of them, I'll be there," Angel let go but Xander didn't move yet. "And when you need help, I'll be there too, Harris."

Nodding his head slightly, Xander started off for the mausoleum again. He didn't turn around but he knew Angel was still watching him. He was pretty sure that Angel would keep watching him no matter what and was almost thankful for it but resentful as well. Too many damn emotions where floating around in his head, making it hard to think. All he wanted to do was finish the job and get on with it. Why the hell did Angel have to go and get all human on him all of a sudden?

As he went into the crypt to retrieve the cross, he didn't see the dark, brooding look come onto Angel's face. He also didn't hear him as he watched him for a moment longer and muttered before leaving, "What the hell happened to you, Harris?"

* * *

"Well, well, well. Wonders never cease, eh?" Spike called out as Xander entered the warehouse, concealing the cross beneath cloth but still showing that he had the package.

"I got the damn thing, Spike. Let's just call it even and be done with it," Xander snapped, his anger getting the better of him.

Spike put a hand to his chest, feigning hurt. "Now, come on then, Harris. Here I thought we were just starting to get on with each other." Seeing the look on Xander's face, Spike just chuckled and dropped the act. "Alright then, let's have a look at it."

Xander tossed the cross to Spike, making sure he took it out of the cloth first. He grinned as the blonde caught it on instinct, growling as it burned his hand.

As he dropped the cross onto the table, Spike turned on Xander and slipped into his demonic face. "You think that's funny, whelp? I'm gonna tear that grin right off your face and show you how funny it is then!"

Stopping him before he could take a step, Drusilla came from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Shhhh. Spike, we have a guest. He sees the bright lights, but then again he's always seen. Isn't that right, kitten?" she asked staring at Xander. "No, not kitten. Not anymore. Spike, he's dark inside. All the lights gone out of him and he can't see his way. He's seen so much but none of it was for his eyes," She turned her head and nuzzled his neck. "Can I keep him? Miss Edith would be so glad to meet him. He could have tea and biscuits."

Xander raised an eyebrow at the crazed vampire's rambling. He didn't get most of what she said but understood enough to know that he definitely didn't want to be 'kept' under any circumstances.

"Don't think he'll be staying, pet," Spike said. His face went back to normal but he continued to glare at Xander while he smiled. "Unless he'd prefer to sit around for a drink. What do you say, whelp? Care to let us have a pint or two?"

Xander gave Spike a cocky smile that matched his own. "Angel knows that you're up to something," he said completely ignoring the taunt.

"Daddy?" Drusilla said with a voice filled with awe and wonder.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Spike asked, tensing up at once.

Xander shrugged in response. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the constantly being frustrated and angry at everything but he wasn't scared right now. Was he worried, yea, but he didn't feel that terror of being confronted with a vampire like he did before. He had always pushed past it and did what he had to do, but this time it wasn't even there.

"Just a friendly warning, Spike. Whatever you're planning, he's on to it and he's watching. Seems like he got a bit concerned when _someone_ went ahead and put my name on a business card or something. Don't know why, really. After I thought about it, I wasn't too concerned," Xander told him.

"Oh? And why's that?" Spike scoffed.

"Well, they got my name, sure. But it seems like someone went ahead and forgot to put any kind of contact information on the things. If you haven't noticed, your average demon isn't going to put too much effort into finding me unless he's got an actual reason and any that does is probably too damn worried about what I may be able to do," Xander explained, still grinning.

"What you can do?" Spike scoffed. "One night as John bloody Taylor and your all thinking you can really play with the big boys, don't you, Harris? I've got news for you, you're not Taylor. You can't _do_ anything except maybe find some things. That doesn't make you Taylor. That makes you a bloody bloodhound."

"Care to put that to the test?" Xander said his eyes fixed firmly on Spikes. He wasn't sure he could take the vampire without something really good up his sleeve but exhaustion had killed his self preservation mode. He was getting stupid but he didn't care. Let Spike kill him, he wasn't going to back down. Not now, not to him.

Spike was about to answer when Drusilla shushed him again. Circling around, exhibiting unnatural grace and fluidness, she glided across the room. Stopping barely three inches behind Xander, she said, "Don't be mad at him, Spike. The moon screams to him. It says the most vile things and whispers blood in his ears. He can't help what he is now. No one can."

Something in her words grabbed at Xander. It made something in his head scream to both run away and stay. Normally, he would run and not look back but not now. Not tonight. So, even though Drusilla did happen to bring back that terrified feeling in him, he stood his ground and faced her, the smile gone from his lips.

"Shush. Bad kitten. You'll have no biscuits if you don't play nice. No one likes to see family fight," she admonished, shaking a finger at him. Almost right after she was finished she started to cry out and fell to the ground clutching her head. "Spike! They're watching, Spike! Always watching! Waiting with teeth and eyes! Make it go away Spike!"

Rushing to her side, Spike knelt to the floor trying to console Drusilla while at the same time glaring at Xander as if it was his fault. Taking this as his chance to leave, Xander turned and walked right up to two vampires that had appeared in order to guard the door. Taking a page from John's book, he grinned evilly at them. Maybe it was Spike being too wrapped up with Drusilla to really care that he just left or maybe they really didn't want to see what he could do. Either way, the two vampires looked at him, looked at each other and then moved out of the way. Just to prove that he really wasn't scared he didn't start to pick up his pace till he got three blocks away and he didn't start running till six blocks.

After a while, he slowed down and simply walked the streets which by this time where deserted. The vampires would lay off of him, for now anyway, and anything else would let him be too. Whatever the hell Drusilla had gone on about got to him and he couldn't explain why. Something in the back of his head was telling him that this wasn't just some crazy rambling. Well, most of it. He was pretty sure that there weren't any biscuits for him even if he was nice to her. Then again, there might be. She was crazy after all.

Still, the thing about family fighting and the eyes with teeth had meant something. Giles had said that Drusilla was some kind of seer. So she was what? Looking into John's past maybe and what he had done with the whole Lilith thing? That could make sense with the whole family bit. He doubted that it had anything to do with his own family issues. The eyes with teeth comment could mean too many things but Xander was pretty sure it was a reference to whatever the hell he had gotten a glimpse at before. Had she seen it too? Was it the same thing that blocked her from getting a good look at the cross? If so, then was this thing wanting him to be the one to find it and if so, why?

Too tired to think about it, he wrapped his coat tighter around himself as much for warmth as for comfort. Making his way to the alleyway where he had stored his stuff, he let his senses take over and his mind go blissfully blank. He had found this alleyway last night and knew he would be OK till morning. It wasn't too far away from the school but it was closer to one of the Church's that littered the town in case he needed to get somewhere safe and fast. It was dirty and, he admitted grudgingly with Angel, smelled of garbage and stale urine but it was still better than going back to that home. Besides, he could deal with it for now. It wasn't going to be forever. John had lived in Rat's Ally for a while when he was younger and Xander knew it could be done. It wasn't much, but it's as good as he was going to get for now.

He refused to go to anyone about this and knew that Angel would keep his mouth shut as well. He wasn't about to go through the looks of sympathy and then explain why it was he wasn't going home. Yea, he wasn't about to deal with another night of his parent's drinking and abuse, not after everything that he's been through. But, he also didn't trust himself there. He knew he was a bit ragged around the mental edges at the moment and was afraid that they might be the ones to make him go over the edge. There were plenty of nasty things he could do to them and didn't want that on his head. He could live himself, he learned how to, but he didn't _want_ to live with himself if he did anything like that.

So if sleeping on the streets was the best he could do for now then so be it. Settling down in-between the doorway of the back of a store, he let some of the tenses fade away. Sleep was threatening him and he knew he wouldn't be able to fight it, not for any actual amount of time. God knows he wanted to, but he hadn't had a good night's sleep in two weeks and he was running on less then empty.

Closing his eyes, Xander couldn't help but feel slightly happy. He had done it. Sure, it was a small case and it wasn't really for money but he had done it. He had cleared his first case as himself and, while it was for Spike and it was going to end up biting him in the ass, he had still done it. Not only that, but he had stared down Spike in a way. That alone was cause for celebration…or maybe a straight jacket. With a small smile on his lips, Xander fell asleep dreaming dreams that gave the things of nightmares sleepless nights.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Well, this took a bit longer to get out then I had hoped but things like work and classes coming up sort of hurt. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in less then a week since I have the next few days off. And now, a few notes and "shout outs". First up, yes Ironbear, you are famous now. Don't let it go to your head. It'll only end with you jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. Secondly, a few stories that I think you should check out. "Sokka: Master of the Black Sword" by Richard Cain and Jade Knight is a wonderfully rich and in depth Avatar story that I'm hooked on. "Night Watchmen" by Ironbear has me interested and as soon as I have down time I plan on reading more and reviewing. And, last ut not least, "Jedi Harris" and it's sequel, "The Terran Jedi" are just too much fun not to read. Those are my suggestions, or commands. I command you to read them! Reviews are always welcomed...and money, but amazingly enough no one leaves that. Guess I'll do with reviews.

"Look, can you just drive like a normal person!" Xander cried closing his eyes as Cordelia swerved down the street narrowly avoiding a parked car.

"Hey, I'm the one who's giving you the ride. The last thing I need is driving tips from someone like you," she snapped angrily, coming to a sudden halt at a stop sign. "I swear I have to stop letting you people talk me into things."

Swallowing as she made a sharp turn, Xander cursed his stupidity. _'Sure Giles! I'll just call up Cordelia and ask her to pick me up at the school and drive me over. And while I'm at it I can maybe ram hot nails through my eyes!' _he thought to himself.

"Can't you duck down or something at least? I don't really want anyone I know seeing you in my car. It's bad enough that I'm going to have to get cleaned to get the smell out," she huffed.

"Yea, like I really want to be here with you in the first place!" he replied. "Oh for God's sake, watch the damn road! I haven't seen this kind of reckless driving since Suzie tried to drive," he muttered the last part to himself.

Finally, though in far too short a time considering the distance, Cordelia screeched to a halt in front of the Summers house hold. Letting his stomach and nerves settle for a moment, Xander jumped out followed quickly by Cordelia. They managed to make it all the way to the front door before starting on each other again. Apparently, not even being haunted by horrible memories was enough to toughen him up enough to let her comments roll off of him. At least it was one thing that was still the same for him.

"You know, for someone who gained some kind of super power, or whatever, you sure didn't improve any. I mean, what's up with that coat? At least Angel has enough fashion sense to wear something black. That just looks tacky," she said wrinkling her nose. "And it smells like garbage."

Stopping in front of the door, Xander turned to her as he started patting down his coat pockets in search of something. "Hey, I'll have you know that this coat has saved my ass more times than I could count," he said, adding in his head, _'You know, if I'm counting when I was riding shotgun in John's brain.'_ "If it doesn't live up to the mighty Queen C's standards then I guess I'll just have to find some way to keep going. Besides, not all of us can afford to go shopping every other day. But I bet it must be hard to find just the right clothes that scream tramp. Though I'm sure daddy must just love that his little girl prettiest little eye candy in the school."

"Please, I am _way_ more than just eye candy and you know it. And even if I was, it'll still be better than the social leper that you are," Cordelia told him rolling her eyes. "And what the hell are you doing? Are you that hard up for a date that you've started feeling yourself up?"

Sneering at the woman that he was trying very hard not to kill, he finally find the lock picks he had been looking for. Holding them out to her with a smugly, he knelt by the door and proceeded to work on the door. "See, some of us have more uses then a live action blow up doll. Though from the rumors there might not be that much difference at some points with you."

"Ooo, isn't the new little delinquent oh so amusing," she huffed, though it was obvious he hit a nerve with his last remark.

Within a few moments, the pins in the lock clicked into place and he pushed the door open. Before he was able to get up, Cordelia had pushed past him into the house. Ignoring the slight, he got up, shut the door and started calling out to Buffy. Of course, he didn't get any response. He hadn't expected to get any. Buffy would have answered the phone at some point if she had been here and he didn't think that if anything had happened to her it would have been in her own home.

"Alright, I'm gonna check upstairs, just try not to do anything stupid while I'm gone," Xander told her.

"Right, cause coming here was such a smart thing to do. Don't worry, I'll be sure to call you if anything happens so you can find a good closet to hid in till Buffy get's here," Cordelia called out as he went up the stairs.

Grumbling as he made the steps, Xander started making a quick search. Again, he wasn't expecting anything to come of it but he needed to check just to be sure. Slowly, he toed Buffy's door open and peeked inside. Hey, he wasn't a complete idiot, not anymore anyway. Just because he wasn't expecting something to jump out and kill him didn't mean it couldn't be there. But just like he thought, nothing. The bed was made and everything seemed to be in order. Just a few moments and he had determined that the whole upstairs was clean and nothing at all had happened there. Shaking his head at the wasted time, Xander started to head back down stairs when he heard two people talking.

Making the last few steps in a rush he swung into the dining room and found Cordelia talking to some guy. The guy had a strange look to him and Cordelia actually took a step back from him as Xander entered the room.

"Hey, everything alright here?" Xander asked looking between the Cordelia and some mystery guy. He didn't look particularly threatening but something about him screamed 'not right'. Enough so that Xander started eyeing him very carefully.

"Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, OK! Buh-bye! Thank you!" she said taking another step back.

Still eyeing the salesman, Xander was ready to show the guy the door, the hard way if necessary, when he noticed a worm crawl across the man's cheek and into his ear. Instinct kicked in and before Xander could think, he punched the guy in the face. Only it didn't work out as well as he had planned. For starters his fist seemed to sink into his face which felt slimy to his hand. The man in question didn't react to the punch either. He didn't fall down or move at all. He just smiled slightly at the attack. When he pulled it back there where several worms on it and they had started to eat at his skin, stinging but not more then that. Definitely not your normal worms though.

"Run! Cordy, run!" Xander yelled shaking the worms off his hand. Watching as the salesman had a larger smile now and turned into a giant pile of those worms. Doubling his effort, he gave Cordelia a little push towards the back door.

Hearing her scream got his attention before he realized what had happened. Apparently the bastard was faster then he would have thought a pile of worms could because he was standing in front of the back door, fully assembled and smiling that annoying smile at them. Guiding her towards the only door he could see, Xander grabbed the handle and dragged the two of them inside, slamming it shut. Looking down, he saw that worm guy wasn't giving up that easily and was sending himself under it in worm form. Stepping on the ones getting through, he realized that it wasn't going to do it. At this rate they would get inside and either take them out that or, well, he wasn't really sure what this guy could do aside from turning into a bunch of man eating worms and he didn't want to find out.

Turning to Cordelia he yelled, "Find something to close up the-" then he stopped. An idea popped into his head as he looked at the shelf behind her. It was something that wouldn't have even occurred to him had it not been for his recent change. It was definitely a lot meaner then he used to think, that's for sure. "Hand me the can!"

"What?" Cordelia asked, freaking out due to the bug man. Still, Xander had to admit that she was handling it better than most girls would have.

"The spray can, Cordy! Hand me the spray can!" he said, still stepping on the worms. More and more where getting through and he could see a few of them staying on his shoe. Quickly, he started fumbling in his pockets again.

Almost knocking the can off the shelf as she reached for it, Cordelia finally got it and practically threw it at Xander. "What the hell are you doing?"

Grinning, Xander caught and righted the can, taking out a silver lighter that had the initials J.T. on it. "Improvising."

Throwing the door open, Xander and Cordelia watched as the worm guys face went from smiles to shock at the sight of them. It was obvious that he hadn't expected them to come out so soon or at all, really. Xander couldn't help but chuckle to himself. _'If that surprised him, I wonder what he'll think about this,'_ he thought.

Xander gave the worm guy a moment to see the lighter's flame before pressing down on the trigger of the spray can. This wasn't going to kill the guy, he knew that. For starters it wasn't anywhere near big enough. But if he was staring right at it when the bout of flame hit his face then he would be even more disoriented, giving them a few extra seconds. Still, it gave him a satisfying feeling to hear him scream as the flame burnt the worms that made up his face, even as he broke himself down into a full on pile of bugs to get away from the fire.

Sending off a few more burst of the home made flame thrower to give Cordelia a clear shot for the door, Xander watched the worms stay back. Once she was clear, though, he abandoned the spray can and headed after her, both sprinting for her car. Not bothering waiting for Xander to close the door, Cordelia slammed her foot on the gas and speed away from the house.

"Ew, ew, ew, EW, EW!" she squeals. "God I can still feel them on me. There's nothing on me, right? RIGHT?!"

Looking at her as she exposed her neck, turning her head from side to side giving him a better view, Xander couldn't help but notice a few things. Well, two things to be exact but with the way she kept running her hands over herself and pulling back the top of her dress to make sure there were no worms, it was hard not to notice. He blames his still hyper teenage hormones and the fact that he depressingly remembered what sex felt like without ever actually having it. But thinking about that was way too weird for him.

"Uh, no. Can't saw there are. Want me to keep checking?" he said, his throat slightly dry.

"What?"

"Nothing," he coughed, forcing his eyes to look straight ahead. "You're good. You're fine."

"Ok, so what the hell was that?" she asked after she calmed down a little as they kept driving. They weren't heading in the direction of the school and neither of them was going to say anything at the moment.

"That was a bug man, Cordy. A man made of worms at least. By the way, what the hell did you let him in for?" Xander snapped.

Shooting him a look, she huffed in annoyance. "He was giving out free samples, how was I supposed to know he was evil? And not that, doofus, I meant that thing with the spray can. When did you get all tough and take charge? Wasn't that a little...?"

Giving her a sidelong look, he said, "A little what?"

"I don't know. A little bit hard for you? You know, a bit more aggressive then you usually are? Most of the time you sit there waiting for Buffy to save you," she said. "It's that guy you turned into, isn't it? He's the one that's giving you all this extra cool. Well, more psycho really, but for you even that's cooler."

"Hey, I just saved our ass's back there. Which I wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't let the guy in there to begin with. You do remember the fact that there are assassins that we're on the lookout for, right?"

Making a noise in frustration, Cordelia took a turn way too sharp, nearly hitting the curb. "How was I supposed to know he wasn't normal?!"

"Here's a clue, he came to the freakin' door! When the hell does anyone just show up and bring something good?"

Griping the wheel tightly, Cordelia didn't say anything. Pushing on the gas more, they sped down the streets in a completely meaningless direction. Stopping at a red light, she mumbled something causing Xander to tilt his head to hear her. "Huh?"

Turning to him angrily, she said harshly, "Thank you, alright! God, I can't even be angry at you properly all because you had to go and do something brave."

"Wow, is the great Cordelia Chase actually thanking someone for something? Are you sure we didn't die back there?" Xander said putting his hand on his chest.

"Oh, shut up. Just cause you managed to not screw up like the loser you are doesn't mean anything. It just makes you a freak like the rest of your freak friends," she told him as she started to drive again.

"Yea, well us freaks have to stick together," he said sullenly. "You think I wanted this? I could have lived well enough without having this happen, alright? It's not all cool powers and fun and exciting new ways of seeing things. You think I would have thought about using that can to barbeque Worm Guy's face before this happened? I know that I'm different and that fact keeps getting shoved in my face all the time."

"Oh please, Xander. Buffy told me all about your little talk with everyone. She made it sound like you where more than fine with what you can do now."

"Fine? Yea, I'm just _fine_ alright," he muttered. Glaring out the window he noticed she was finally starting to head back to the school.

He wasn't about to get all depressed in front of Cordelia but it was hard. She had, unknowingly, confirmed his belief that Buffy and the others didn't get it. That maybe the only person who got how he was feeling, the dark feelings he was having, was Angel and that made him shudder on the inside. Angel understood because of what he had done as a vampire and the regret that came with it. He was a monster and he knew it and did his best to rein it in at all times. If a person like that was the one to understand what he was going through, what did that say about him?

Sighing, he gave up the inner pity party and concentrated on what needed to be done. He knew that they needed to talk to Giles and let him know what they had found but he didn't feel like reporting in, as it was. It wasn't what he felt like worked for him anymore. Information was one thing but not being told what to do. The feeling of calling his own shots, the feeling of working things out on his own and dealing with problems his way was strong and it no longer felt right to do anything else. But, they needed information to figure out what was going on, especially with the Order of Taraka having been called in so it was the best course of action that he had at the moment.

They didn't ring any bells with Xander, which either meant they stayed out of the Nightside or that he just simply hadn't heard of him. John had known a lot of the assassins and bounty hunters but not these guys. Maybe he would recognize a name here or there in their little organization but as a whole, he was as in the dark. From what Giles had told them, they were as bad as they came. They didn't stop till they're target was killed or the contract had ended, sometimes not even that stopped them. Sounded pretty standard to him, actually. Suzie had yet to not bring in her bounty, dead or alive and most of the time in pieces. Assassins were the same way, though they honestly tended to be a lot less violent then Suzie Shooter

Spike was the one who was behind calling them in. Sure, anybody would love to bring down the Slayer but there was too much there for Spike not to be the prime suspect. He didn't share this with anyone else though, not directly. He hinted at it and suggested it but coming out and telling them why he was right would have raised too many questions. If he was right about that cross thing being bad news, then this was partially his fault. He couldn't say anything, not yet. They would react badly and probably violently in Buffy's case.

"Hey, you think you could use that thing of yours to find us a parking spot?" Cordelia asked suddenly.

"What? No!" he said coming out of his thoughts. "Unlike you, it's not a toy."

"Right, gotta save it for when it really counts. Hey, maybe you can use it to help find yourself a nice date to the prom next year! I mean, you can't start too soon to find the perfect hooker," she snapped.

"Skank," he breathed.

"Freak.," she said pulling into a spot in the back of the lot.

Getting out and slamming the door shut, Xander said, "I can't believe that I'm happier to be back in time for this dumb career day then to be stuck in that car with you."

"You know, I can't believe that I was even thinking of being nice to you before. I bet that you didn't even think about saving me, you were just in there to get yourself out," she shot back.

"Well, I would have thrown you to the guy if I thought he'd have taken the bait. But I couldn't chance him being attracted to the taste of bitch," Xander said pushing the door to the school open.

Following him inside, Cordelia grabbed his arm and spun him around. "If you breathe one word about me giving you a ride-"

"Then I'd be just like everyone on the football team?" he shrugged.

Before Cordelia could respond, a shot rang out causing everyone to scream and duck for cover. Grabbing onto her wrist, Xander pulled her to the floor and behind him, using himself as shield. Quickly scanning the area, he heard two more shots go off and he spotted Buffy running from some police woman, or more likely someone dressed as one. Before he could do anything, the wanna-be cop fired off a few more shots and would have hit Willow if some guy hadn't jumped in the way, getting hit in the process.

Turning and grabbing Cordelia's face in both hands, he looked her in the eyes, making sure she would listen. "Stay down! Don't get up till she's gone, got it?" he told her and felt her nod shakily, and then he stood up.

He was pissed. No one threatened his friends. He wouldn't have stood for it before he had changed but now that he could do something about it and, well, that made things a bit different. Stalking toward the woman, coming up from her side, he concentrated on her gun and whistled loudly to get her attention. The noise got the woman's attention and if he hadn't been ready for it, he would have been shot himself when she turned on him. Instead when she pulled the trigger it clicked, as if empty. Trying a twice more she got similar results.

"I think you're missing something," he told her holding out his hand and having the bullets that had been in her clip drop to the floor.

To her credit, she only looked shocked for a moment then instantly snapped back to situation. Popping out the now empty clip, she reached for a fresh one but he had been counting on Buffy to take this opportunity to jump the woman and she didn't disappoint. Before she had been half way to popping it in, the blond Slayer rushed her, hitting the person who gave gun totting psycho's a bad name with an uppercut that probably had more strength in it then needed, but he wasn't about to feel bad. The woman had pulled a gun and nearly killed his two best friends. As far as he was concerned, she wasn't hurting enough. Not nearly.

Apparently, she had the same thought because she didn't stay down long at all. Coming up on one knee, the assassin pulled an ankle gun but never got a shot off. Some black girl, who came out of nowhere, kicked it out of her hand and then snapped her foot into her face. Seeing this as a losing battle, the woman fell back a few steps, pulled a knife from behind and grabbed Jonathan, using him as a hostage till she got a clear shot for the back door, then bolted. The black girl didn't bother to say anything and started after the fake cop.

Xander and Buffy, on the other hand, headed straight for Willow and Oz.

"How is he?" Buffy asked, kneeling down.

"He's shot!" Willow told her, clearly upset. Turning to Oz, she asked "Are you OK?"

"I, uh, I'm shot! Ya know, wow, it's odd! And painful," he said laughing slightly, not quite believing what had happened.

Taking a look at the wound, Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "It doesn't look so bad. A bit worse than a graze," he told him.

"How do you know that? He may be really hurt, right?" Willow asked, still concerned for Oz's well being.

"Had a bit of experience in that department," Xander said, giving her a look that clearly meant not to ask.

He could see it in Willow's eyes that she was worried about the guy. Not just because he had saved her life, there was something else there if he wasn't mistaken. It was something that made Xander both happier and sadder at the same time. It looked to him like his Willow might just have a crush on Oz. He had already decided what he would do about Willow's feelings, and the ones that he had only just admitted to himself were there. This made it easier in a way, though. He cared for Willow, but he could never be with her in any kind of relationship. He had changed too much, seen too many things. She would never see him as anything other then what he once was, that little goof ball and he clearly wasn't that person anymore. Besides, she wouldn't be safe with him, not how his life was probably going to go.

Nodding to the shorter guy, he said, "You did good, saved our Willow's life. We'll get someone over here to check you out. Will's, think you can stay with him?"

"Uh huh," she nodded, clearly not really hearing him. She was more shook up then she was letting on but then again getting shot at can do that to a person.

Buffy gave her friend a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and got up, going with Xander over to the front doors to where Cordelia was still hiding. At least she managed to listen when it mattered.

"You alright?" he asked, offering her a hand to help her up.

Blinking once, she snapped out of her daze and, accepting the help, got to her feet. "I, um, yea. I think so."

"Alright, good," he said giving her a smile. Turning to Buffy, Xander shook his head. "So, you're not dead, good to know."

The blonde Slayer rolled her eyes but gave him a small smile that disappeared just as fast as it had appeared. Willow wasn't the only one looking worried but he doubted that it was just the recent fight that had Buffy shaken. "Yea, and if the damn Order of Taroko or whatever the hell it is has its way that may not be for long. I can't believe that came into the school like that."

"Yea, those wacky assassins," he paused in mock thought. "You don't think they could come back around finals, do you?" Xander joked.

Slapping Xander's chest, Buffy shook her head. "Really though, thanks for the backup. But you really shouldn't have put yourself out there like that. She could have killed you."

"Like she could have killed Willow or you? Besides, I had it under control," he told her.

"Take more than some psycho with a gun to get one over on me."

"Or a guy made out of bugs," Cordelia piped in, much to the surprise of Xander.

"Bugs? There was a bug guy? Is this going to be a theme with you now?" Buffy tone had a slight teasing tone to it despite he mood.

Rubbing his face, Xander winked. "Don't you start with me. Library I guess, huh? See what Giles and his books have come up with, I guess."

Buffy nodded and the two of them started to walk off when Xander stopped. Turning to Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "You coming?"

"What?"

"Well, you were sorta there today, so..."

It was odd that she didn't come back at him with some kind of snarky remark, something that Xander chalked up to shock. She was still doing good after everything, but worm guy was different from cop lady. Worm guy was a creepy crawly, figuratively as well as literally. He was one of those bump in the night things that they dealt with all the time. Cop lady wasn't anything like that. As far as he knew she was just a plain, ordinary vanilla human. A human with a gun though, which made all the difference. The gun made it more real, a feel that the supernatural sometimes didn't have to it. Willow and Cordelia both seemed to not be taking it so well, not bad, mind you, just not good. Willow probably needed to just sit down and breath for a bit and Cordelia could do with being around people and being distracted.

He knew of guns. John may have never used one, but they had been used against him often enough. Where their where guns there was violence and blood, pain and death. Something that John, and now Xander, knew all too well. It was the reason why he was going to put a stop to this before it got to the point where his friends would be in too deep with it as well. No, he wasn't about to let them get hurt, not if he could help it and especially not if he was partially to blame.

* * *

"Alright, great, just perfect," Xander muttered as he poured over the book in front of him. They hadn't been in the library for more than ten minutes before Giles explained to him and Cordelia about Angel being missing as well as the ritual to bring Drusilla back to full strength. The cross that Xander had found and handed over to Spike seemed to be the key to deciphering the book that Spike had taken from the library and therefor none of this could have happened had he not given him the cross. Angel, who had offered him his help and understood what was going on, was going to be used to bring back Drusilla, a more then half crazed vampire and it was his doing.

To complicate matters, apparently there had been a hiccup in the cosmic whatever it's called because now there were two slayers. That might not sound like a bad thing, but Xander wasn't feeling too much like an optimist at the moment. It was bound to cause a problem somewhere down the line and he got the feeling that Giles was thinking the same thing. The guy was smart and, even if he wasn't saying it, this was probably going to cause him to hit the books double time after they worked out how to get back Angel. After this was done, if Giles would accept it, he would do whatever he could to help him find some answers.

Giles had at least asked Xander if he might be able to locate Angel using his gift. Buffy, who despite having said she accepted what he could do, didn't even think about it. While it sort of annoyed him, especially after he _had_ actually helped out with the gun totting assassin, but he let it go. Besides, he told Giles that it wasn't a good idea anyway. He hadn't used his gift since the other night when he was looking for the cross. He didn't relish the idea of getting the attention of whatever that thing had been that night and since they were right over the Hellmouth, he wanted to play it safe. Giles seemed to understand when he explained it to him, while leaving out the cross part, and had even mentioned about looking into it later. That only served to make him feel even guiltier.

He was holding back. Not just with information but in what he could do. He wasn't using his gift anywhere near as much or as hard as John would have right now but that just went to prove what he thought. He wasn't John. He may have his skills, his power and his experiences but he was still him, still Xander. It was both comforting and depressing. But he still couldn't bring himself to use his gift to find Angel, not unless he really needed to.

So wrapped up in his musings, Xander didn't notice Cordelia till she practically knocked him off the chair, hitting his chest. Did people really forget that he was still healing some bruised ribs? "What? What the hell? Why are you hitting me?"

"Well if you had heard me the first _five_ times you would know that you've been staring at a picture of that worm guy," she said angrily.

"Huh?" looking down at the book to see what she was talking about he frowned. Sure enough, there was a drawing of the bug guy. Well, at least someone that fit his description and powers. The picture itself looked more like some English school teacher or something. "Oh, yea, that would be our bug man."

"Told you so," she huffed.

Ignoring her attitude, Xander read the description as Giles and Willow came over. "Alright, says he that he can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. Which is going to be a bit hard, those little bastard's bite hard," he held up his hand to show where the worms had eaten away at parts of the skin. It was mostly just red but you could make out the small indents from where they had started to burrow into him. "Yea, and this was only after a second or two."

"Well, fire seemed to work pretty well," Cordelia said to him.

"Fire?" Willow asked curiously.

Shaking his head, Xander didn't feel like getting into it. Like Cordelia, the rest of them might view him burning the face off of Worm Guy, despite him being evil and not human, as something rather different then what he would normally do. "That only seemed to annoy him. I mean, maybe a really big fire but arson is really more Buffy's area."

"It was one gym!" Buffy called out from the office, much to Xander's amusement and joy as his deflection worked..

"Well, then you come up with something if you know so much," Cordelia challenged.

"There's still offering him to you and hopping that he'll choke to death," Xander shot.

Standing up, the brunette looked down at Xander in annoyance. "I'm sure that probably was your back-up plan before!"

Getting up to face her, Xander glared, "Lady, if we had been there one more minute I would have thrown _myself_ to the worms just to get away from you!"

"Finally you're coming up with a plan that'll benefit everyone!"

"Hey, if you two are done, I think we have a plan," Buffy said sternly as she come out of the office with Kendra in tow.

Continuing to stare at each other for a few more seconds, Xander and Cordelia finally moved away from each other. They had escalated much faster then normal this time and it bothered Xander. Maybe it was just nerves on both their parts but it still bugged him. She had been acting odd since they had left Buffy's house before. Great, another mystery for him to solve. While giving the argumentative girl a sideways look, Xander faced Buffy and paid attention to what she had to say..

Waiting for Kendra to stand next to her, Buffy started. "Alright, here's the plan. The guy at that bar said that he got Angel out of there, right? Well, we're thinking that there's more to it than just that. He knows more then what he told us and he probably had a hand in getting Angel to Spike."

"With Willie, that would be almost a definite," Xander snorted before mentally kicking himself.

Raising an eyebrow, Buffy watched Xander carefully. "On a first name basis with the bartender at a demon bar, Xander?"

"What? Xander would never! I mean, well, that one time when he got out of the hospital but that was it," Willow said defensively before turning to Xander. "Right?"

Folding his arms, causing his coat to fold around him protectively. "Yea, I've been in there once or twice but that's not the point," he said carefully not looking at Willow's face. "Willie's more than likely hiding something but not in the way your thinking. He's always got something up his sleeve, an ace in the hole to keep him safe and protected. Willie isn't a bad guy, not really. Just looking out for himself. Your right though, he probably did have something to do with Angel going MIA and probably would have given him to Spike. For a price of course."

"Well, I'm so glad to see that you and the guy who sells beer and _blood_ to demons are such good friends," Buffy said rolling her eyes. "Whatever. He knows something then we're going to find out what. Me and Kendra are going to go over there and get it out of him and get Angel back and turn Spike into fertilizer."

Snorting, Xander shook his head. "And when you two end up dead, what do you want the tomb stone to say?" Xander asked annoyed. He was tired of the judgment being sent his way. Maybe he needed to work on controlling his emotions a bit more, oh well. Now wasn't the time for it.

"What are you saying?" Kendra asked out of actually puzzlement rather than anger. It was the most she had said to Xander the whole time they had been there without stuttering.

"You shake down and threaten Willie and what do you think he's going to do? He's going to look out for himself and do what will get him the best outcome," Xander explained.

Stepping forward to argue, Buffy opened her mouth but got cut off before she could start. "Buffy, you seem to have forgotten that the Order of Taraka is still out there and likely to be with Spike, as he's the likely suspect as to who hired them. We know that he's going to have Angel with him to revive Drusilla to power and he wouldn't do that without a backup plan to keep them clear till the rituals complete."

"Yea, exactly, even more reason to hurry. We know this thing is going on today and we need to stop it," Buffy said exasperated.

"Listen, two slayers are great and all but don't you think that you might need something a bit better? Like, I don't know, let's say back up and maybe something resembling a plan?" Xander raised his one eyebrow sarcastically much to the annoyance of his friend.

"I have a plan, remember? Kendra's my back up," Buffy said, jerking her head to the dark skinned slayer. "Listen, if anyone has a better plan then I'm willing to hear it."

"As a matter of fact, Buffy, I do," Giles told her. "While I agree with you that this Willie person has information that we need, I can't help that think that Xander may be right. If he should lead you into a trap then Kendra and you would both be trapped and she would no longer count as back-up."

Buffy thought about this for a moment and then her face fell slightly. "Oh."

"Yes, quite," Giles said thought his shoulders seemed to relax slightly at not having to fight her more on it. "However, if Kendra was to break away from you should it look like a trap, she could meet up with the rest of us who would have followed you two."

Losing some of her fire, Buffy said softly, "Well, if you want to be all smart about it."

"I'm coming with," Xander said. "We may not need to strong arm Willie actually."

At this, Willow and Buffy started to argue with him but Giles called them to order rather quickly. Giving him a look, as if sizing him up in a way that unnerved Xander, he said, "You think you may have a way to get this bar tender to give you the information to you without raising his suspicion?"

Xander nodded confidently. "Willie? Yea, I think he'll tell me what we need to know. But back up is still something that we're going to need. Never can be too careful."

After a moment, Giles gave him a small nod. "Fine, you three will head over there and-"

"Four," Cordelia said interrupting.

"What?!" Xander and Buffy exclaimed at the same time.

"Please, what where you three going to do, walk there?" she said rolling her eyes.

Wide eyed, Xander couldn't help but tease her still. "Yea, but we'd also like to get there in one piece."

Narrowing her eyes, Cordelia snapped, "Fine, _you_ can walk. I probably have to replace the upholstery as it is from having you in it already. I'd have to burn the whole thing if you sat in it again."

"Enough already! Cordelia, you're driving," Buffy said stopping them before they started bickering again. "Giles, Willow, see if you two can work up something for that worm guy if he's there, like you think he is. You know the bar, the one right off of Main Street near the back of town? Meet us there in about fifteen minutes. Xander, you had better be right about this and we are _so_ having a talk when this is done."

Buffy walked out of the library followed by Kendra, after giving Giles a brief nod of acknowledgment. Wanting to let the slayers go ahead and cool their heads, well, really just Buffy, Xander and Cordelia waited a moment before following them out. They were about halfway down the hall when Xander started looking at her from the corner of his eyes. She didn't seem any more confident or resolute or, hell, any less ditzy then she could sometimes be, so then what was she doing this for? If she had wanted to help she could have hung back with the cavalry. She didn't need to put herself on what was probably the front line of this particular battle. Despite saying that she was merely giving them a lift, he couldn't see her as not going in with them unless there was good reason.

Catching his eye, she let out a breath of air and stopped. "What? What is it this time, huh?"

Turning so he was now facing her, he gave her what he hoped was a concerned look. "You don't have to do this, you know? Listen, all jokes aside, this is going to be dangerous and probably messy."

"Like anything with you people is ever just normal?"

Reigning in the comeback that was on the tip of his tongue, Xander instead kept his voice as sarcasm free as possible. "Yea, I know. But that's my point. You don't owe any of us anything. Not that I'm not grateful, but why stick your neck out?"

"What? You think I can't do something nice for someone? I'll have you know that I organized that whole food drive thing for all those poor people, or whatever they where, last year. I'm plenty giving," she told him.

"That's the rumor anyway," he muttered.

"What was that?" she asked angrily.

Coughing, Xander hid a smirk. "Why do this, really?"

"Duh! Spike is bad news. I know that, lame-o. You really think I want Spike _and_ Drusilla walking around town at night? It's bad enough what the regular vampires do for my social calendar. I don't need two master vampires or whatever they are walking around and killing potential dates," she told him and started walking again, heading out the doors and into the parking lot. "Besides, despite what you say I do owe you. You know, for before, with that bug guy and gun totting psycho. I hate owing people."

Chuckling at the thought that Cordelia Chase actually hidden depths, he realized that would have had to have been the case all along. If she didn't then she wouldn't have survived for as long as she had on the Hellmouth, let alone be the top of the social food chain, as it where. He wondered just how deep those depths went with her and what else she kept hidden from people. An idle thought, but something that just added to the mystery of her that was starting to get to him and if there was one thing that he now seemed to have a knack for attracting, it was mystery. Hopefully he wouldn't also gain John's knack for attracting destruction and chaos though he somehow doubted it.

Jumping into the passenger seat while Buffy and Kendra got in the back, Xander had a goofy grin on his face as he remembered something. "Hey, not all gun totting psychos are bad. Well, not all bad anyway. I mean, it's not like Suzie ever hurt anybody who didn't deserve it or that she thought deserved it or who just pissed her off on general principle. What was I saying again?"

Giving him a strange look, Buffy replied, "Don't worry, you're not the only one who's lost."

With a sheepish smile as the screeched out of the parking lot, Xander said, "Oh, well, good. I hate being alone."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay. I had to rewrite this one a few times and still feels a bit awkward but oh well. I think this story is just about finished, but the follow up is already being written in my head. I'm open to suggestions about anything so feel free to throw your own two cents in. Other than that, have fun.

"Alright, so remember, when we go in there, you don't say a word. Just follow my lead, stay behind me and watch my back, got it?" Xander said.

"No doh, psycho. You've only said it to me _five times_ already!" she hissed.

The two of them were standing outside of Willie's Place and he was having doubts. Not about what he was going to do but about Cordelia. He should have fought her and Buffy on it more but he didn't think they had the time to really get into it. The two Slayers and the cheerleader had insisted that he needed someone to go in there and watch his back. Of course they had all suggested either Buffy or Kendra but he had shot that down almost before they had said it. If either one of them came with him it would turn into them taking control of the situation and that wasn't going to work with his plans. Especially with them more than likely hitting Willie. Besides, he didn't want them to hear anything that he and Willie might say, not even counting if any other patrons where in the bar.

Looking behind him, seeing Buffy and Kendra in the car watching them, he knew that he didn't have much time before they got antsy and busted in early or, worse yet, before he did. He had seven minutes before they assumed something had happened and came in to "rescue" him. That was the plan anyway. Really Buffy just didn't like the idea of him doing this and Kendra wasn't used to sitting on the sidelines for any amount of time from what he could tell. The new Slayer was very by the books and group dynamics were new to her. Time was not on his side. He knew that Buffy wouldn't give him a second more than seven minutes before coming in which meant he had to get everything he needed and fast.

Turning back to Cordelia, ignoring the psycho comment, his face became serious. "Listen, some things might be said in there, some things that you're not gonna understand but just don't react, OK? Don't say anything, just stand behind me."

Not waiting for an answer, Xander opened the door to the bar with more force then it needed. Walking inside like he owned the place, he looked around. It was something that worked in almost any situation, establishing yourself as being a tough bastard that you'd want to think twice before coming after, and he needed all the help he could get. Even if it was only Willie in the bar at the moment, he still needed the mood to be set. He was in charge and not to be messed with under any circumstances and it was probably best to just tell him what he wanted to know so he'll leave fast and quietly. So far, it seemed to be working.

The few patrons of the bar, three vampires in a corner well out of sunlight and a skinny blue skinned demon dressed in modern clothing at the bar, all turned to look at him. Willie jumped slightly but recovered quickly. For the owner and operator of a demon bar, Willie was awfully twitchy. It made him wonder what the guy was doing it for, what made him choose to do it. Something to think about later on but not now.

With a hard glare, the customers quickly found something else to be interested in and Xander made for the opposite end of the bar, away from demon, with Cordelia following close behind. Almost instantly, Willie was in front of him.

"Kid, you nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought it was your pal the Slayer or something. What do you want, you're regular?" he was already reaching under the counter for a glass when Xander shook his head.

"Not this time, Willie. I'm on the clock actually."

Giving him a quizzical look for a second, understanding dawned on the barman's face. "Ah, got it. So that's actually working out for ya? Guess that it would have to in a town like this. Pretty damn brave of you actually, putting yourself out there and all. But I guess no one would be dumb enough to mess with you after going head to head with the Mayor, huh? Not now anyway."

Smiling at Willie, Xander said, "Glad you think so, Willie. I need information and I heard that you're the man to talk to about that."

Instantly, Willie started looking nervous. "Information? Me? Hell, kid, I hear a lot of things in here but I don't make a habit of saying anything. That sort of thing'll get you killed."

"Cut the act, Willie. I've been hired to find Angel," Xander nodded towards Cordelia. "Word is he was here last. I know that Spike need's him for some kind of ritual. Find Spike and I find Angel. I can't find Spike at the moment and that leaves me here talking to you. What do you know, Willie?"

"Know? I don't know nothin' about Spike. I mean, I may have heard a thing or two but that's it, I swear," Willie said. Sweat was starting to form on his brow as Xander continued to stare at him. "I mean, uh, there may have been something about the Slayer but I didn't hear it all. But, you may want to talk to someone who works for Spike, kid. They'd know more then I would."

Xander caught his eye, noticing that he started flicking his gaze over to where the undead trio was sitting. It was obvious that Willie knew exactly what had happened to Angel but he was doing exactly what Xander thought he would which was saving his own neck. The bit about Spike saying something about Buffy was definitely a lead to get him off his back and it was working. One option was to call Willie on his bullshit and get him to talk, which he had no doubt that he could at this point. Getting information out of a person and nonpersons was something that he now knew how to do. But, if he did that then he might lose Willie. Not as a friend or anything like the sort. Willie knew things and heard more than he ever let on to anyone and he didn't want to lose Willie the way most everyone else had by merely making him talk. That wouldn't get him anything extra that the guy might tell him otherwise. His second choice was to go with what Willie said and check on the vampires. Both he and Willie would know that he was giving him a pass but it would pay off in the long run.

Fine, he could live with letting Willie go for now. That is, of course, if the he got the information from the. It meant getting his hands dirty a bit, unfortunately, but it might work out better that way. A plan was already forming in his head that could work it to his advantage. That's if he lived anyway.

After a moment, Xander nodded to Willie. "Thanks, Willie. I appreciate it."

"Yea, sure kid. Not a problem," Willie visibly relaxed and then busied himself with cleaning the bar top just to give him something to do.

Turning around, he caught the look that Cordelia was giving him but shot her one of his own. One that clearly said 'not now'. Amazingly, the girl didn't say a word and let Xander walk past her to the table of vampires. They had been doing their best to look nonchalant as he made his way over to them but were failing miserably. It might have had something to do with how all three of them kept casting glances his way so that way by the time he was standing over them they were staring. Inconspicuous these guys were not.

"A little early for you guys to be out, isn't it?" Xander said conversationally.

What seemed to be the leader of the three, a short but well built Hispanic looking guy who looked to be in his mid twenties when he was turned, nodded. "Yea, a bit. What's it to you?"

Smiling, Xander checked his watch. "Look, let's cut to the chase, huh? I've always hated that whole tough guy posturing. It gets old and bothers me. I'm looking for Angel and we all know that Spike has him."

"Why the hell are you looking for him for? You're working for him, same as us," vampire two growled. He didn't look particularly smart but then again, when you think your untouchable you don't always have to be. In fact anyone who thought that wasn't just stupid, they were downright mentally handicapped.

"Wrong. I don't work for him. He hired me to do a job, and it's been done. Now I'm doing a different job and it turns out that Spike's involved. Don't try to think about it too hard, I can tell your already hurting," Xander watched as the three vampires stood up as one. Normally this wouldn't be a good sign, but he was counting on them working like this. It made them predictable.

Smiling, his fangs showing, the lead vampire got around the table and stood in front of Xander. "You're not working for the boss? Well, isn't that interesting."

"Really and why's that?" Xander smirked. Rule number one in a situation like this was to never show them that our scared. Sure, he was ready to run away and hide somewhere sunny filled with crosses and stakes at the moment but he couldn't let them know that. Play it cool and calm. Besides, it was almost time.

The other two made their way next to him, effectively surrounding him. "Oh yea. See, we were told to lay off. The boss was very specific about that. Kind of annoyed me and my boys here, having to pass over an easy meal like you as you slept in that damn alleyway. Even had to watch over you for a bit. It pissed the hell out of us but now things have changed. You're not working for the boss which means that your fair game again."

"Xander," Cordelia said, worry coloring her tone.

Still, Xander didn't even flinch. Instead, he turned his smirk into an all out grin. "Spike told you about me though? No? Really now. That's kind of interesting. See, I've got a gift of sorts, not to mention a real bad temper when it comes to people who threaten me."

The third vampire, a tall and rather well kept young man, teenager by the looks of it, had remained silent up till now. "Ah, shit. That's you?"

"What? What the hell are you talking about Dave?" the leader asked, not taking his eyes off Xander but he did start looking shifty.

'_Dave?'_ Xander thought with a chuckle. "You know who I am, right Dave? You know what I can do."

"What the fuck are you two talking about?" vampire number two growled.

Taking a step back, Dave the vampire shook his head. "Not good, Lenny. This is _him_. The guy who took on the Mayor on Halloween and walked away. Nearly killed him the way I heard it. Almost brought down the whole building too. A buddy of mine works in that place as a guard, said that some of the rooms still aren't fixed up and that the Mayor won't talk about it with anyone"

The lead vampire squinted at Xander before growling. "Bullshit. Him? He's just some goddamned kid the boss was using as a patsy to throw the Slayer off."

"The Slayer, huh?" Xander said, feeling the tension in the air. Cordelia had moved further away, which he was sort of glad for. If this didn't work like he hoped then things would get messy. "How about a little demonstration then. See, I can find things. It's my gift -Lennie is it?- and I'm good at it. So, here's what I say. You tell me where Spike is and I leave you three alone. Don't, and I use my gift to find the Slayer and bring her here so she can dust your sorry ass's."

Grabbing Xander by the lapels of his coat, the lead vampire lifted him off the ground. "After I kill you, I'm going to have fun with your girl. Oh yea, big shot, I'm going to enjoy myself."

"Me too," Xander snarled. He nodded to the door which, thankfully opened as Buffy and Kendra walked in looking pissed and ready to kill.

Everyone in the bar except Xander looked at the two Slayers and then back to Lennie. Said vampire was frozen at what had just happened. He couldn't take his eyes off the Slayers as they seemed poised to attack. When they started towards the group of them, stakes out and ready to be plunged into hearts, Lennie let go of Xander and took several steps back along with his two other friends.

"Alright! Alright! He's going to the boarded up church over on Sparrow Lane. Can't miss it, tiny place but it's the only one that's closed down in this damn town," Lennie cried taking even more steps back, nearly tripping over his chair.

Holding up a hand to stop to the Slayers, Xander righted his coat. Fixing the vampire with a hard look, he said, "Who's with him?"

"Two of the Order of Taraka. That and a few other vampire's," this time it was the third unnamed vampire who offered the information. Both his hands where in the air, palms out. Clearly he didn't feel like being swept up by Willie later.

"And what about the Slayer? What's he saying about her?" Xander asked looking hard at the now passive vampire.

"Said that there's a price on her head. If the Order couldn't do and someone else got lucky he'd pay them instead but no one would be stupid enough to do that. If the Slayer didn't kill you then the Order would for poaching there target," he told him, trying his best to look none threatening.

Giving one more glare at the vampire who had held him up, he nodded slightly to Willie. Taking Cordelia by the arm, he started for the door. "Come on, we have what we need."

Luckily, Buffy and Kendra didn't question him but glared at the three vampires before leaving as well. It would have been a waste of time to slay the vampires at this point. They weren't going to cause them any trouble with Spike, not after that. For the second time that day his faith in Buffy had proved life saving. If she hadn't been so intent on not letting him get any longer than those seven minutes then things could have ended badly. If she had been even a few seconds off it might have been embarrassing not to mention deadly.

Once outside, Buffy spun Xander around, looking angry as all hell. "What the hell was that? You said you were going in there to talk to Willie and you ended up getting into a fight with those vampires? This is exactly why I didn't want you going in there! You could have been killed, Xander! What the hell where you thinking?"

"I had it under control, Buffy," Xander told her as calmly as he could, fixing his coat for the second time.

"Under control? Under control?! Xander, if me and Kendra hadn't come in when we did that vampire would have killed you!"

"Yea, I know. Do you really think I would have just let those vamps grab me like that without a plan?"

Giving him an incredulous look, Buffy sputtered for a few seconds. "Plan? What plan?!"

Winking at Cordelia, Xander grinned. "Wait for you to come in and save me of course."

Walking towards the car, leaving two thoroughly confused Slayers standing there, Xander gave a short wave to Citroen that could have only been Giles car. He pointed to Cordelia's car and gave him a thumbs up. They still had to get to the church but didn't want to wait and tell Giles where it was. It would be easier to have him follow them to the place and jump in when needed.

Cordelia came up to the driver side, unlocked the door and stared at Xander. Her face had a mixture of several emotions. Confusion, obviously, but also fear, worry and something that looked like sadness or possibly pity. She had heard enough that it made him slightly uncomfortable to look at her. Nothing specific about what he had done but she hadn't missed the part about his current sleeping habits. He couldn't dwell on it though. At the moment he was in what he was starting to call 'John Mode'. It was almost like he was channeling some of the attitude of John, with his own flare of course. It was like a harder, meaner version of himself but one who wouldn't stop till the job was done. So, when she mouthed that they had to talk, he didn't say anything, nodding slightly instead and got in the car.

Once the Slayers had caught up and got in the back seat, Cordelia already had the engine started and lurched out of her spot. To say that there was tension in the car would have been an understatement. Xander could feel Buffy and Kendra staring at him from behind and Cordelia kept shooting him looks out of the corner of her eyes every so often. It was starting to get on his nerves but he held it in. Losing his head wasn't going to help any.

Choosing to break the silence, Xander said, "Alright, so we know that he's in the church and that he doesn't want you to interfere. But, he also doesn't know about Kendra yet, so that gives us an advantage."

"Yea, we know that already," Buffy said her voice oddly devoid of any anger. It was almost hesitant, as if she was trying to think of exactly how to word things at the moment. "It's what we've been betting on this whole time. Go in and catch Spike off guard with it."

"Any plans for how we pull this off? He doesn't know that we're heading for them but still, it'd be nice to have something more than just the element of surprise on our side," Xander looked in the rearview, catching Buffy's eyes. He already had a guess as to what she was thinking and didn't like it. Expected it, yes, but that didn't make him like it.

Not being one to disappoint, Buffy took a breath before she spoke next. "Xander...I don't think you should go in with us. You're not acting like yourself. Your being reckless and I'm worried that you're going to get hurt."

Not taking his eyes off of her's he nodded. "You mean I'm not acting like a bench warmer anymore? Or do you mean I'm not acting like the guy who would just watch your back without acting on his own and throw himself into the fray merely cause you said so? When have I not been in danger of being hurt or killed? Buffy, maybe you haven't noticed but things have changed a bit. And if you keep thinking that I can't handle myself then you and me are going to have that talk you want to have a whole lot sooner than you think. But I think we can all agree that now isn't the time."

Something in his voice got through to her. Not in an understanding way, but in a 'don't argue with me right now' way. It bothered Xander that he didn't have as much of a problem talking to Buffy like this then he thought he would. He would have liked to blame it all on John but he couldn't, not really. Sure, he wouldn't have thought of talking or acting like this without seeing things through John's eyes but that was the point. He had merely gotten a different perspective and gained more experience with these things then Buffy had. Hell, probably more then all of them rolled together, excluding Angel of course.

Either way, here he was, staring down Buffy, the Slayer, his friend. His eyes where as hard as his voice was and this too added to putting her off. This was going to have repercussions, but then again, the whole damn situation was going to bite him in the ass. Might as well go for broke if that was the case.

"And another thing, I'm going in first. If he sees you he's likely to just kill you on sight instead of gloating," he lied. Xander knew that Spike wouldn't pass up a chance to rub it in just a little bit with Buffy but he wanted first crack at Spike.

Shaking her head, Buffy glared. "Not a chance. I don't know what your deal is but I'm going in there. Or maybe you think that you can handle Spike, the Order and whatever the hell else he has in there by yourself? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"No, not last time I checked," he mumbled. Speaking more clearly, he glared right back at Buffy in the rearview. "Spike doesn't know about Kendra but Kendra knows about Spike. I show up with Kendra then we not just have the element of surprise but we also have back up that he won't be able to deal with. You show up and Spike might figure out that we won't be far behind and that's assuming he doesn't off you right there."

"You're tinkin' we might be able to free Angelus on our own?" Kendra asked.

Xander wasn't able to see her face but her tone of voice suggested that she was equal parts on edge with the situation in the car and curious about what was going on. Obviously, no one had filled her in on what he could do or what had happened to him so she only had what she's seen to go on. He could understand how that might confuse her a bit. By all accounts he looked normal and Buffy had said that he didn't kick her slayer sense into alert at all either so to her, he was normal. Yet, here he was facing off with Buffy and walking into demon bars like it was nothing.

"Yea, I think we might have a chance. Spike and me have some history," Xander told her.

"You mean Spike and that John guy have history, Xander. Is that it? Do you all of a sudden think that you're that guy? Xander, listen to yourself for a moment!" Buffy argued, not noticing Cordelia's slight intake of breathe as they pulled up to the church.

"I'm listening loud and clear," he responded. Mentally sighing, he prepared himself to hit her a bit below the belt and turn the Jamaican Slayer against Buffy. "What it sounds like is that you don't think that Kendra can handle it."

This seemed to startle Buffy slightly and, he noted, caused Kendra to tense slightly. "Wait, what? When did I say anything about that?"

"Well, what's the difference between you and Kendra? The two of you are both Slayers and trained properly. The only thing I can think of is that Spike knows you but you'd rather go in there and risk Angel's life over doing the smart thing."

"I never said that!"

Kendra fell for the bait instantly and turned to Buffy. Probably had to do with her lack of people skills and contact with anyone who wasn't her Watcher or evil undead things "If I went in before you it might be work out a bit better. You should be backin' us up, den. Unless you tink dat I can't handle it."

Facing the second Slayer, Buffy instantly started trying to calm her down. "No! I mean, yes! I mean of course you could handle it. But-"

"Great, then it's settled," Xander said clapping his hands and getting out of the car.

Walking around to the front of the car, he leaned against the hood, trying to calm his nerves both over what was about to happen and what he had just done. It was a big step, he knew that. Towards what, he had no idea. Good, bad, he didn't know but he had done...something. There was a good chance that what he had done might have just lost him a friend but if she didn't understand what had happened to him then that would have happened later down the road anyway.

Hearing the rest of the car doors open and close, he readied himself. It sort of surprised him when Cordelia came and leaned on the hood right next to him. He was able to hear the two Slayers talking, almost heatedly, by the side but he was confident that he and Kendra would be going in there with Buffy following close behind.

"That was pretty damn sneaky back there," Cordelia told him, still looking at the boarded up church.

Keeping his voice steady, he asked, "What's that?"

Frowning slightly, she shook her head. "I know turning people against each other and using them when I see it. You think I'm able to keep those flock of air headed followers under me simply by being me?"

"You do have a certain commanding quality to your bitchiness."

"Just be careful, Xander," she said after a moment.

"Is this you paying me back again?"

"Just some friendly advice. Not that we're friends or anything. Oh, and don't think for a minute that we aren't going to have a talk about what the hell happened back at that bar. Working a case? Sleeping in alleys?" she asked, looking at him for the first time.

Sighing, he closed his eyes as he felt a headache coming on. "Later, Cordy, alright? Just be careful when you go in there. I'm not going to be playing nice anymore and I'd hate to it if you got hurt because of it."

The banter and barbs that usual wormed its way into their conversations was severely lacking. She may still be able to get him worked up and heated more than anyone else, but he didn't hate her. He never really did, but she just annoyed him to the point of insanity. Still, he meant that he didn't want her to get hurt because of him. He didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him if he could help it.

With one last look, she nodded and went walked away, ready to prepare herself for what was ahead of them. Taking this as a sign to get moving, Xander pushed off the hood and turned to face the three ladies. Cordelia was back to looking annoyed with the whole ordeal. She was good but Xander knew now that it was an act and she was just as nervous as he was. Buffy was looking cautious of him but with barely contained violence in her eyes. The girl was definitely holding back from pummeling him. Kendra, oddly enough, simply looked ready to fight. She seemed calm but, like Buffy, had that coiled, ready to pounce look in her eyes. It would have been enough to make his legs turn to jell-o at the sight of all three of them but not anymore. Well, maybe a little.

"Wait for our signal then come in guns blazing," Xander told Buffy.

"You're signal?"

Kendra was already walking to him, ready to get going. Starting to walk backwards, Xander smiled. "Oh, lots of screaming, probably the sounds of a really pissed wanna be vampire. Shouldn't be too hard to miss it. Or, you know, just wait and listen by the door which is what you'll probably do anyway."

Turning, Xander fell into step with Kendra. She cast him a sidelong look but quickly looked away. Even in this situation she still wasn't used to being near another male other than her Watcher. It didn't help that she didn't know what to make of him. He hadn't meant to scare her or put her off but it seemed like he had accomplished that anyway. Oh well, didn't really matter. What did matter was getting Angel out and stopping Spike from getting Drusilla up to full strength. Yea, he was also trying to shut him down before he could say anything about him finding the cross but that was only secondary to getting Angel out of there. In reality that fact was going to come out sooner or later but later would be better for him.

When they reached the boarded up door, Xander made a show of trying to open it. "Looks like its shut pretty good. Want to turn back and tell them we should try again later on? Maybe call a locksmith or something?" Giving no response to his slight joke, Kendra kicked the cheap replacement door off its hinges and walked inside. "Well, if you insist."

Inside, the old church smelled of must and rotted wood. Hardly any of the fading evening light made its way in through the covered windows. It looked like the main part of the church was down a set of stairs down the greeting room.. It was odd, but then again this was Sunnydale, home of the weird and strange. For all he knew the builders might have thought they would be safer underground. Unlikely, but what did he know?

Carefully and as quietly as they could manage, the two made their way down the hall. Plaster, paint chips and things that might have once been animals littered the ground. Trying not to pay too close attention to the carcasses, Xander took point and continued on, motioning for Kendra to stay behind him. He could take care of something popping up in front of them, hopefully, but he wouldn't have been any good at dealing with the things behind him. Surprisingly, the new Slayer again didn't question him and fell let him go ahead.

It wasn't a long way down the stairs and he could see candle light glowing before him. Not wanting to look weak, Xander came down the steps looking extremely irritated and unimpressed with the place and didn't even pay any attention to the two vampires guarding the doors to what was once the place of worship. Finally, after he looked at every other available space, he turned his eye to them and snorted in an amused way. Kendra hadn't made a move yet, waiting instead for a cue from Xander.

Holding out a hand, letting her know to wait there, Xander stepped forward. "Alright, which one of you is in charge here?"

This confused the two vampires, clearly they were used to humans screaming in fear or running away or at the very least looking somewhat scared. This guy, who they seemed to recall him from somewhere but couldn't place him, didn't fit into any of those categories. After a second, one of them stepped forward growling.

"Good, finally! Look, Spike's in there, right? Now, there are two choices right now. Either you open the door for me and I go in there and you two get to run along and go bother someone else or I open the door after doing something very nasty to you. Honestly, I don't care which but the young lady with me," he turned and looked hastily towards Kendra then back to the vampire in front of him, "Well, she isn't exactly the patient type."

"Who the hell are you? Spike said not to let anyone in," the vampire growled, looking down at Xander. It wasn't that hard as he stood a good three inches taller than him.

Giving his best I'm-better-than-you-so-don't-play-me smile, Xander said, "I'm Xander Harris and I'm here to get Angel back from Spike."

With a snarl, the vampire lunged at Xander but stopped a mere inch from him. Neither of them moved for a moment, as if they were frozen in time. They continued to stare at each other, right into each other's eyes. The vampire had started to tremble slightly, beads of sweat rolling down his face. Xander, on the other hand, wasn't moving at all unless you counted the fact that his smile had grown slightly, though it held no joy in it. It was the smile that promised horribly evil things to anyone or anything in his way.

Another second passed and blood red tears started to roll down the vampire guard's cheeks and his shaking became more violent. Suddenly the vampire fell back, thrashing on the ground and whimpering like a small child.

Turning his head, Xander looked at the second guard who had stayed still throughout the whole thing, and raised an eyebrow. He at least seemed to have more brains then his companion, taking off and running down the other hall to what probably lead to some kind of sewer access. So far it seemed that every damn building in Sunnydale had some kind of sewer access connected to it which was both annoying and handy at the same time.

Kendra was watching him, her own eyebrow raised in confusion. "An'what kind of magic be dat? I've never seen anyone stare down a vampire like dat before," Kendra said as she stood next to him, staring down and the still quivering vampire on the floor.

"I'm a man of many talents," Xander told her waggling his eyebrows. "Come on. We don't have a lot of time. Leave the vamp on the floor. He won't be hurting anyone for a while and I'd rather not waste a second."

She didn't argue, though it looked like she wanted to. Xander knew that she wasn't too keen on the idea of saving Angel but it meant keeping a deranged psychotic vampire from getting to full strength. Out of the two choices, it was the one that made the most sense. He wasn't worried about her trying to knock off both Angel and Drusilla at once. She seemed too rigid to go against a plan that a Watcher, even if it wasn't her's, had approved of. It'd probably get her killed one day, not being able to change gears in any situation but for now it worked in their favor.

"Follow my lead. Don't hit anybody till it's time," Xander started readying himself mentally and trying to think up some kind of plan.

"Time?"

Putting his hands on the doorknobs, Xander could feel the magic coming from within the room. Whatever Spike had been planning, it was already underway. With one last breathe to steady himself, Xander looked back at Kendra. "You'll know when," he told her then pushed open the set of double doors, letting them bang against the walls. Nothing like an entrance to really get people's attention.

Walking in like he had every right to be there, Xander did a quick scan of the room. It was small, by churches standards, and looked about as run down as the rest of the building. Candles burned in holders all around giving more than enough light to see by and more than enough to be some sort of a fire hazard. The vamps back at Willie's bar had been right on the money. Off to the side Worm Guy and the fake cop where standing looking as confused by his entrance as everyone else. Worm Guy's confusion gave way to anger as Xander let his eyes fall on him. He couldn't blame him, not really. He would have gotten pretty ticked at someone who tried to burn his face off too.

At the front of the church, Spike was standing near Angel and Drusilla who had been bound and tied together with a dagger being stabbed through their hands joining them. Both of them where slumping back and neither was conscious. Angel was definitely looking worse for wear but he wasn't dead, so to speak, so that was a good sign. The fact that Drusilla was starting to get some color in her cheeks, was worrisome. The key was to not let this show.

After the initial shock of seeing Xander, Spike shook his head and chuckled. "Seriously, people, what do I keep you lot around for? I know that we had people on the door this time," he said as he walked over to him. "So, what brings you to this neck of the woods, droopy? Heard you had a run in with short and squiggly over there."

"What can I say, Spike? You just don't seem too good at picking good help," Xander shrugged. Kendra bumped into his back, making him turn slightly. Damn, he had missed the three other vampires in the room. Must have been hidden in the shadows or something. Now they had come out and where steadily forming a loose semicircle around him and Kendra.

"Is that so?" Spike grinned.

Turning back to the bleached blonde vampire, Xander swallowed his own fear. "You know why I'm here, Spike."

"Actually, I don't. I know why you're still breathing though. I think I might be going a bit soft in my old age," smiling, Spike clapped his hands together. "Right, let's rectify that!"

Holding up a hand, Xander took a step towards Spike, catching him off guard and stopping him for a moment. With all of his posturing, Spike still was wary of what Xander might be able to do. It was something that he had to push to make it out of here with Angel. "Not a good idea, Spike. You really think that if I could come out unharmed after a fight with one of the Order of Taraka that I couldn't take on your little minions? Besides, I think you're gonna want to hear what I have to say."

Smirking, Spike waved off the vampires. Instantly, though with varying degrees of disappointment, they moved back to the walls were they had been waiting earlier. "Well, I have a few minutes before Peaches here bites the big one, again. So what's so important that you couldn't wait to talk to me or did you just come to watch the show?"

"Got a deal for you, Spike. Word is your looking for the Slayer."

"Oh, this is _rich_!" Spike laughed. "Yea, and what of it? You here to tell me to lay off or something bad'll happen to me? I'm quaking, really I am."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Xander started walking around slowly. It made it look like he was at ease with the situation but in reality if he didn't start moving he was either going to pass out or take off running. He was playing at a game that he had seen done a hundred times before but this was different. It was his nerves rattling and it was much different feeling it on his own and not through John. Turns out that it wasn't any easier this way then it was when he had been with John and in fact it was a great deal harder.

"I said a deal, Spike. You want something, I want something. You want the Slayer, right?"

"Yea. Six feet in the ground, burnt to a crisp. Hell, you could have her nailed to bloody Big Ben for all I care. What of it?"

Casting a glance at Angel, he could tell he didn't have much more time. However the damn spell was working, it couldn't have much longer till it was done. "I give you a Slayer and you give me Angel."

"You want what's left of him, be my guest. Hope you brought a dust pan though," Spike said moving to stand next to him.

"Last chance, Spike. It's a fair trade. I'd say you should take it while you still can," Xander gave him a look.

"Right, good. Get right on that," Spike said walking up to the sire and childe. "Oh, wait, on second though why don't I just kill you and the bird. Who the hell is this anyway? Bringing dates along to get killed now?"

Faster than Xander could follow or Spike could react to, Kendra made her way over to the vampire kicking him square in the chest, sending him reeling. "I am Kendra, da Vampire Slayer."

"Oh, did I forget to mention that?" Xander asked as Kendra followed up her kick with a flurry of other strikes.

The fight made enough noise to bring Buffy and the rest of the gang inside, just as he knew it would. Buffy didn't trust him at the moment and wasn't about to wait outside the building for some kind of sign. It wasn't a perfect plan by any means. If he misjudged her on this bit then he and Kendra would have been overrun by Spike and his minions. It was a good thing that he wasn't being trusted at this moment or else he'd probably be getting torn to pieces at the moment.

Even if Buffy didn't trust him, he trusted her to do what she did best and beat the crap out of the uglies and keep them back. He had to trust Buffy and the others to do this so that way he could concentrate on raising his gift and using it on the spell that was working on Angel and Drusilla. Blocking out the ensuing chaos all around him, as best as he could, and searched for the part of the spell that held it together. It was taking longer than he would have liked, but then again he wasn't opening himself up as much as he could have. He was vaguely aware of Kendra and Buffy switching places in the fight and, if he wasn't mistaken, he could also smell smoke in the background. Those candles really where a fire hazard then.

Pushing the distractions aside once again, he looked harder, deeper. Then, suddenly, there it was. The dagger that was piercing their hands was the tying bond. He couldn't cut it off with his gift, not this spell, but he now knew how to put a stop to it. All he had to do was not die getting to the knife. Unfortunately, Spike seemed to catch on that he knew and after catching Buffy with a vicious blow to the head, he made to block his path.

"Well, look who grew a pair, eh? Thought you'd pop in here, cause a bit of a ruckus and slip out with the Great Poof?" Spike mocked, staring Xander down.

"Something like that, yea?" Xander countered, watching Buffy get up from the corner of his eye. Spike, not being as dumb as he had hoped, saw her as well and moved to keep both of them in his sites.

Smirking, Spike readied himself in case Buffy rushed him. "Tell you what, whelp. You kill the Slayer for me and I'll let you walk out of here. Not like you haven't worked for me before, eh?"

Xander didn't respond. There wasn't anything he could say even if he wanted to. But, damn it to hell because Spike's words were working on Buffy. She hadn't dropped her stance but she kept darting her eyes between Spike and Xander as if that would cause more information to pop up.

"I mean, this couldn't have been done without you," Spike said, staring at Buffy. "You're boy, Slayer, is real helpful, you know that? All of this, my Dru getting back on her feet, Angel getting sucked drier then a corpse, all of it is made possible by your boy. Why, if it hadn't been for him getting me that cross then I'd still be back at home beating the crap out of my minions with that book."

"Xander, what the hell is he talking about?" Buffy hissed. She was getting distracted and playing right into Spike's hand.

"A bit more pressing matters at hand, don't you think Buff?" Xander said. As carefully as he could he started taking his hands out of his pockets. The vial of Holy water he had put in their before leaving the library firmly in his fingers.

Moving closer to Drusilla and Angel, Spike started chuckling. "Them? Don't worry. In a minute or so he won't matter much anyway.

"But you! You really thought you could be something, didn't you? Thought you could run with the big bad in this town, play a bit of make believe, huh? Sleeping in alleyways, drinking in demon bars and playing with the tough guys sure is fun except for that pesky bit were your not some tough guy. You're a whelp pretending at being bad, at being someone. You're a sad little boy who's gotten in over his head and who gets to stand there and watch as me and Dru burn this town to the ground," Spike showed his fangs in a wide grin, enjoying the audience he had not to mention buying for time.

The sounds of fighting had ceased meaning that Spike did in fact have everyone's attention, to Xander's dismay. He couldn't chance seeing how everyone else had faired or if all the nasties had been taken care of. If he took his eyes off of Spike then that would give him an opening to get at Buffy since she was too busy trying to pay attention to both Spike and himself. This was a bad move on her part and she should have known it. But Buffy didn't have as much experience as he did, not anymore. She was still letting her emotions lead her and he was starting to wonder if she would ever be able to stop. Could she ever put aside her feelings and do what needed to be done? Right now it didn't matter. Right now he just had to hope that everyone else had done what they could or else even if they stopped the spell and saved Angel, they would be dead before they turned around.

Right, time to get things moving then. Holding the glass bottle of Holy water out in front of him, Xander didn't say a word, staring at Spike. The silent threat just caused Spike to laugh harder. "What? You think that a bit of Holy water's going to save you? My God, you're really starting to believe that rot about Taylor, aren't you? You think you can bluff you're way and stop me? Well, come on then! Show me what you got."

Watching the vicious smile on Spike's face, Xander raised an eyebrow before winking with a smile of his own. It took only a second before the vampires grin turned into a look of shock. His eyes grew wide and started tearing as if in great pain, which Xander knew he had to have been in. Opening his mouth in a silent scream of agony, Spike grabbed his crotch which had suddenly begun smoking. As Xander dropped the now empty vial to the floor, he had to admire that Spike hadn't dropped to his knees in what he imagined had to have been some of the worse pain the vampire had ever experienced. After all, he probably hadn't ever had someone empty an entire bottle of Holy Water inside his pants before and he likely wasn't going to forget it anytime soon.

Buffy had at least some sense to take that moment to rush in but she still hesitated too much, giving Spike a moment to recuperate. Even with the blinding pain he started staggering backwards managing to knock the pulpit down and into Buffy. Reaching up, Spike withdrew the dagger from Drusilla and Angel's hand, cut her down and flung her over his shoulder. That had looked to be his plan anyway but the moment the extra weight was added to him, he finally screamed out in pain, dropping Drusilla and falling to his knees. Still, he was trying to crawl away, dragging Drusilla behind him as he growled and, if Xander's ears heard him right, whimpered.

Running over to Angel, a step behind Buffy, the two got an arm under him and started to drag him towards the exit.

"What the hell did you do Xander?" Buffy seethed she took the brunt of Angel's dead weight.

"Me? Nothing much really. Spike's just finding out the effects Holy water on a real sensitive area feels like," Xander grunted with the weight.

It was they were on their way out that Xander get a good look at the place after the fight. Off to the side there was a fire going and spreading fast, which explained why he smelt smoke but it wasn't from the candles. There was some kind of mass underneath it, still squirming, and Xander could only hope that it was the worm guy cause if it wasn't, well, he didn't want to think about what it might be. He caught sight of the retreating backs of Giles, Cordelia and Willow but no one else. Cop lady wasn't around, which meant she probably escaped the rapidly burning building which is something that they needed to do as well.

Halfway there, with the nagging thought that he was forgetting something. He tripped and fell to the floor. Buffy managed to stay upright and still held onto Angel. Waving her on, he only idly noticed that she had barely stopped when he fell and he wasn't even sure if she had looked back. Damn it, she must be really pissed if she wasn't even bothering to on him. Fine, he could deal with that. Pushing himself off the ground, his hand brushed against something fleshy and being the tough guy that he's been lately, Xander yelped and nearly fell down again.

Looking down he saw that it was a hand. To be more precise, it was a dark skinned female's hand that was, luckily for his stomach, still attached to an equally female arm and body. It was Kendra's body that he had ended up tripping over and he says body because there wasn't any way that she could have survived that much blood loss, Slayer or not. He couldn't see much from amount of blood that was pooling on and around her body but her lifeless eyes gave it away. What it looked like was that someone had stabbed her multiple times and practically gutted her, the clothing being the only thing keeping her insides not completely on the outside.

Bile started up Xander's throat as the smell of blood and innards reached his nostrils. Her eyes were still open and staring at him. Shaking his head and forcing himself not to throw up, he stood and was about to pick her lifeless form off the ground when a resounding crack filled the room. One of the support beams had collapsed and was starting to bring more of the ceiling down around him. The fire was moving faster then he thought and he didn't have a whole lot of time to get out before both he and Kendra got buried in the fiery ruble.

Feeling sick with himself, Xander knelt and closed Kendra's eyes. He didn't know the girl by any stretch of the imagination but it was his fault that she was dead. It was his plan to go in here with her and play it like he had and because of that, she was dead. A Slayer, a force of good in the world was snuffed out because of what he had done and he couldn't even make sure that she got a proper burial. Getting to his feet, he cast on more look at the girl and hurried out of the burning building.

Once outside, he found that the sun had set, the colder weather bringing with it earlier sunsets. It definitely helped in keeping Angel from bursting into flames for starters. If it was at all possible, the souled vampire was looking paler then normal but he was at least regaining some form of consciousness as he lay on the ground with Buffy kneeling over him protectively. He saw Giles breathing heavy but trying to comfort Willow who was having even more trouble than he was. It was probably due more to smoke inhalation then the actual fighting.

Cordelia! Whipping his head back and forth to try and find the missing girl, he finally caught sight of her talking on her cell phone, presumably to a 9-1-1 dispatcher considering the fire. Moving that fast didn't help him any as he became light headed and half sat half fell onto the curb. The smoke must have gotten to him as well. Yea, that was it.

He didn't have much time to recuperate before he found himself lifted off the ground by the much shorter and still much scarier Buffy. "What the hell was that back there, Xander? What the hell has been going on?"

Xander actually tried to answer but his head was still reeling and no coherent sentences would form. He recognized that he had mumbled something or other which only caused Buffy to shake him hard. It didn't do much to clear his head but he didn't think she really cared that much.

"Tell me, Xander! Tell me what the hell's been going on with you!" Buffy yelled. Giles ran over and was able to pull Buffy off of him, putting his feet back on the floor.

"Buffy, that's enough! Enough!" Giles said baring her way. "We need to leave before the police and fire department arrive and even they won't stay away that long after the fire starts to get out of control.

"You heard him, Giles! You heard what Spike had said. Xander helped him do this. We've all said that he's been acting weird and off lately. How he's been distancing himself from us, the way he's been talking, the drinking! Now we know why, Giles!" Buffy would have pushed past Giles had it not been for the fact that she respected the man. At this point, Xander figured it was the only thing keeping him alive.

Pushing himself up and off the pavement, Xander got to his unsteady feet and stared at Buffy. He couldn't deny it. Everything she said so far was true. He had been distancing himself and acting differently. Not to mention drinking more then he knew he should but not nearly as much as he should be considering the nightmares. She had every right to hate him, to not trust him and he knew it. He hated himself at the moment for how it had turned out but he couldn't change any of it. Not in any way to make it work out differently.

Willow suddenly looked up from across the street and looked around. "Where's Kendra?"

Buffy and Giles did the same thing, somehow thinking they would see her somewhere that Willow had not. Buffy's eyes made their way back to Xander, questioning him. All he could do was look away in sadness and self disgust. Catching on, to what it meant, Giles's mouth opened slightly, his shoulders sagging as realization set in. Being who she was, Buffy's sudden grief for her fallen sister Slayer turned to anger. She didn't have to move Giles when she went for Xander this time, the Watcher's body offered her no resistance.

Even with expecting the blow, Xander fell back under the sheer force of the punch. Stars exploded before his eyes and blood spurted from his nose. Once again, he found himself on the ground only he didn't quite remember falling. Not a good sign.

Buffy was standing over him, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She was trembling with both rage and sadness and it looked like she was trying desperately not to just pummel him just to release some of it. She didn't say a word as she stood there, only glared. Just like Xander, what was there to say? She could snap him like a twig if she wanted but while the desire was there, she held back. Maybe it was the friendship that they once had that kept him in one piece, and he did mean the _once had_ part. One look in her eyes and he could tell that she didn't consider him to be anything of the sort.

Turning on her heel, Buffy walked away without so much as a glance at him and back over to Angel to help him up. Xander watched her go, not knowing what else to do. Angel managed to catch his eye. While he was far too weak to say anything, his eyes managed to convey a message. _I'll be in touch_.

He had expected hate or maybe even disappointment or some kind of negative emotion from the vampire whom he had almost helped kill but it wasn't there. It was just as well though that Angel didn't feel like that because he was getting enough of it from Willow and Giles. Both were looking at him, Giles with disappointment and shame while Willow just looked confused and horrified. The frightened look that she had right after Halloween was back only this time there was no hesitation in associating it fully with him.

The four of them, Buffy carrying Angel, Giles, and Willow turned and started making their way to the cars. All that was left was Cordelia who lingered away from everyone for a moment during Buffy's confrontation with him. Like Willow, she looked scared but determined as well. She didn't come to his defense or help him up but, amazingly, she offered him a small comforting smile and nodded slightly before turning away to join the others. Like Angel, it clearly said that they still had a talk coming.

As he picked himself off the ground, moving as quickly as he could as the sirens got closer, Xander couldn't help but laugh bitterly, which only made his broken nose sting. Out of everyone he knew, out of all of them, it was Angel and Cordelia that were giving him a chance. He would have actually barked out an actual laugh had it not been for the fact that he had lost his two best friends and someone he once considered to be mentors respect. Not to mention that he had gotten some poor girl killed. A Slayer no less. Spike and Drusilla probably made it out safely even with everything going on around them and Drusilla probably had gotten enough out of the spell to be a threat again. All in all, it had been one hell of a day's work. Yep, he was doing great for himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Ah, and so it ends. Well, this portion anyway. This just felt like the spot to end this part. It's a little weak as endings go but I couldn't fix it. It just sets up some stuff for the future. Plans for the follow up are being worked on but I want to start on a new story that's kicking around in my head just for fun and also finish my first story. Special thanks go to three people actually. Ironbear, Richard Cain, and RedHeadReader (I really did try to get it in there but this was the best I could do). I'm toying with a few ideas for the next one but if anyone's got any suggestions I'm more then happy to hear about them. Hope that this was at least enjoyable on some level and a little different from some of the YAHF out there. Thanks for any and all the reviews (And even those who didn't review I thank you for reading. I read your thoughts and it's much appreciated. Though I'd like it if that one person wouldn't picture my in a feather boa and alligator boots. Yea, you know who you are) Well, have fun.

The library was starting to feel like her home away from home which, when she thought about it, was really sad. She had a real home, a good home. Her mother cared about her. She wasn't wanting for anything in the way of food or comfort there and she had a nice big comfortable bed to sleep in. All in all, she really should spend more time there but she didn't. It may have seemed nice but her loving and caring mother didn't know her, not really and because of that it made the space feel awkward. She was the Slayer and that made up a large portion of who she was. Up until very recently, she had been the one girl in all the world who did all that killing evil stuff. Then, Kendra had come to town and it turned out that she wasn't alone after all. There was someone else who was like her.

That didn't even last a day. Life, as she was more than well aware of, liked to twist the knife a bit sometimes. After she had finally accepted the fact the Kendra was another Slayer, an active one and not just some potential, she had been taken away. Specifically it had been that Order of Taraka assassin who had done it, the one who had dressed as a cop some two weeks earlier. All it had taken were a few lucky shots and Kendra had died. Brutally and messily.

After it had happened, it had been easy to blame Xander for her death. After all, he had been the one who had pushed his plan on them. Well, more like he snuck it in their without even trying that hard. She was so concerned about Angel that she didn't even notice what he had done till the next day. It was underhanded and so unlike Xander that she wouldn't have thought that he would have been capable of it. Well, Old Xander anyway. This new Xander, the one from after Halloween, she didn't know at all. Even so, after a couple of weeks she couldn't continue to blame him completely for the death of the Kendra.

That wasn't to say that he wasn't to blame partially. It was still him running in there loose and erratic that had helped to get her killed. Not to mention that if what Spike said was true then Xander had helped him decipher the book that started the mess with Angel in the first place. Xander had made these choices of his own free will without anyone twisting his arm to do so. Yea, she understood that he had been through something that none of them had due to the spell but so what? So he had to deal with monsters and other sort of nasty things. Was that any different to what she had to do on a nightly basis? Come on! Some of the things he had said couldn't possibly be true anyway. How could gods walk around like he said they did and how the hell did this Lilith person even exist without anyone knowing about her?

Sighing, Buffy calmed herself down. She was getting worked up and was starting to attack Xander again. At least this time it was in her head and not in front of Willow or Giles. She didn't really think those things, well, not completely. It was mostly just frustration and it hurt talking about it. None of them had seen or heard from Xander two weeks, going on three now and they were all starting to worry. The last time she had let her emotions speak for her in front of either of them, Willow had almost started to cry while Giles had gone stone faced and went into his office for the better part of an hour before going home.

They had tried looking for him after the first two days of not seeing him. They were all worried about him, even if they weren't happy with him. Buffy still didn't think that she had overreacted, everything considered. But she would have liked to have the chance to talk to him about it. All of them would have, actually. If they could, they wanted to help him work out whatever was going on with him. That didn't mean he was forgiven or that they would ever be friends again but she didn't want anything to happen to him either.

Willow was practically freaking every time anyone mentioned Xander's name. She was taking this hard and it was understandable. Both girls had made two different trips to Xander's house looking for him but his father, reeking of alcohol, said that he hadn't been home in a while and good riddance. Of course that had been after five minutes of him leering at both of them and slurring his words to the point of incomprehension. It had taken everything in her not to punch the man, especially after seeing that Willow seemed to be used to his mannerisms. She knew that Xander had a bad home life but she hadn't really thought about what that meant. Willow was a different story but she just seemed to accept it. Maybe it had been the fact that she had seen it since she was little that it never went beyond just comforting Xander but now it was different. Now things had changed and opened both of their eyes. Willow was guilt ridden about not doing more to help Xander back when and blamed herself for Xander's new attitude, at least partially even though it didn't make a whole lot of sense to do so.

Giles was doing what he did best, which was researching. He too was blaming himself for his part in what happened. A lot of his research was focused on trying to find a way to reverse the spell that had infused the memories and abilities of that John Taylor guy into Xander but it wasn't going well. All attempts to track down Ethan Rayne had failed though they did know that he had fled Sunnydale a few days after Halloween looking like hell. What worried Buffy a bit was the fact that Giles seem to think that they should have seen this coming and done more to prevent it. She had even heard him mumbling curses at himself under his breath when he was searching for some kind of an answer. It had been something about listening to himself and blasting the consequences. When she had suggested going to the Nightside to find John Taylor to make him help them he had practically thrown her out of the library. He had blown up at her which he had never done before. It was the only time she had ever seen him act like that and she didn't bring it up again.

The doors to the library opened as Willow came in. Her face was downcast as it always seemed to be nowadays but she still offered her a small smile in greating. "Hey, Buff. How's your mom holding up?"

"She's better. Still a bit wigged over the whole thing, but she's repressing real well. I should probably start worry about that," Buffy frowned slightly.

A few days earlier, her mom had brought home someone she had been dating. On top of the usual weirdness of the situation, he had turned out to be a robot who wanted to kidnap her and play pretend husband and wife till she died. After the whole mess and being accused of killing what they thought was then her mom's human boyfriend, she sent the thing to the scrap pile and cleared her name. Her mom thought that he had been some psychotic who had wanted to kill her, which while partially true was better than the whole truth.

"At least Thanksgiving helped her keep occupied. I swear that she forgets that it's just the two of us now. If you hadn't come over I'd probably be having turkey sandwiches till Christmas," Buffy said trying to keep the topic slightly light. It didn't have the reaction she had hoped though as Willow's face fell a bit. "Will's, what's wrong? I thought you had a good time that day?"

"What? Oh, yea, I did. It's just…It's almost Christmas time," Willow said sadly.

"You're Jewish. Don't you mean Chanukah time?"

"Yea, but Xander…every year he used to sneak a way for me to watch the Charlie Brown special and…and he'd do the Snoopy dance," Willow didn't get teary eyed this time but looked down at her feet as she sat down.

Buffy could have smacked herself for not seeing how the conversation would have led to this. Hell, Willow and Xander had so much history it was hard to bring up any topic without Willow thinking about something that Xander used to do. It was harder still with the holidays coming up and it was going to be hard for Willow without Xander being around. But, no matter what they did or where they looked the young man just couldn't be found. They were all thinking in it but no one wanted to say that something may have happened to him. Willie had told Buffy that he hadn't heard anything about Xander being knocked off and had even suggested that they would have to be stupid to even try it. He wouldn't elaborate no matter how much Buffy threatened him and she had started wondered why the guy seemed so defensive with the information about Xander.

"I'm sure that we'll be able to find him before then, Will's. He'll be dancing for you before you know it," Buffy lied.

Willow stared at her before shaking her head. "No, he won't, Buffy. Even if we do find him, I don't even know if he would want to come back or...or if he even could."

"What do you mean?"

"He's…he's not Xander anymore, Buffy. I mean, he's still Xander b-but not our Xander. I don't know who he is anymore. I want to help him, I really do but what can we really do?" Willow asked.

"I don't know, Willow. We talk to him, I guess. Get him to stop doing whatever it is he's doing. Get him to go back, well, not home but somewhere," Buffy stopped for a second and looked at her friend concerned. "Do you really think he had been spending all those nights sleeping in alleys?"

Willow didn't answer. She looked as if she might start crying but with a few shuddering breathes, she calmed herself down. It was just as well since at that moment Giles came out of his office holding, of all things, a few slips of paper printing paper.

"Ah, good, you're both here," the Watcher said walking over to the table they were at. "I had just gotten off the phone with a friend of mine in London trying to track down any information on the Nightside and John Taylor. It took me some time to convince him that I wasn't planning on going there and even then he was reluctant to speak to me about the blasted place."

"You really think that knowing more about this place that we might be able to help Xander? You don't want us to talk to that John guy but knowing about him is going to do something?" Buffy asked slightly irked at all the research without anything to do with it.

Leafing through the pages in his hand, looking for the right ones, Giles sighed as if tired of explaining the same thing over and over again. "Buffy, I've told you time and again that you are not allowed to try to find Mr. Taylor for any point or purpose. The Council has been adamant about leaving the Nightside alone and in this case I'd have to agree. If even a quarter of what we have found out is true the place would be far to dangerous. But the more we know about it the better equipped we'll be to understand what Xander has been through.

"As it turns out, my friend Finnis had a cousin who went to the Nightside ever so often. He was the black sheep of the family, as it were. Into...well, things that are better left unsaid. The last time he went there he barely made it out alive and he had completely lost his mind. Finnis said that after a few months in an asylum he was finally able to speak coherently and even managed to draw a few pictures of what had made him loose his mind. Apparently, this was also something that Taylor had gone up against and walked away from it which should give us some starting off point. The thing he saw, the thing that had driven him mad went by many names. Two of them being the Lamenation The Saint of Suffering. I've never heard of the thing myself except for maybe a handful of passages and even then it was never really spoken of. I had Finnis send me a copy of his cousins drawing over the, uh, faxing machine."

"Wow, Giles using technology. This really must be important," Buffy said and was glad to see that it at least got a small smile from Willow.

Rolling his eyes, Giles found what he was looking for and furrowed his brow. Continuing to stare at the sheet in front of him, Giles seemed to grow pale before Buffy's eyes and then muttered. "Oh…oh my."

Seeing the concern on the man's face, Buffy and Willow exchanged a look. "What's the deal? How bad can it be?"

Still not looking away from the page in front of him, Giles narrowed his eyes slightly before answering. "I-I-I know what it is he saw now. I-it didn't go under the, uh, name that Finnis said. Not when..."

Starting to worry, Buffy stood up ready to take a look at what had startled Giles so much. When she reached for it however, Giles moved further away, his eyes still not leaving the paper. Without so much as another word, Giles dropped the rest of the papers to the floor and started to tear the one with the picture on it into shreds to the shock of his Slayer and her friend.

"Giles, what's going on? What's got you so wigged?" Buffy asked.

"That's enough for today, I think," Giles said, his voice steady but ready to crack. He held the torn pieces in his hand gingerly as if afraid they might somehow reform and hurt him if he wasn't careful.

"Alright, you're starting to freak me out here. What's the deal here, Giles?"

"I said go home!" he snapped causing both girls to jump slightly. Not waiting for either one to say another word, he turned and went back into his office, shutting the door tight.

Exchanging a look, Buffy and Willow frowned but didn't say anything. Silently, both not wanting to make too much noise, they collected their belongings and headed for the door. Before leaving, they chanced a look through the window and saw Giles sitting in his chair, glasses in his hand staring at the object on his desk. From what they could make out it was a small urn holding the shredded paper. Giles had set the corners of it on fire and it was eating it up hungrily. Whatever it was about this thing that had Giles so freaked wasn't a joke. Not just that, but it had a connection to the Nightside and John Taylor in which case it had something to do with Xander. For the umpteenth time that day alone, Buffy cursed Ethan Rayne and his damn spell.

Breathing in the night air, Xander felt himself relax a bit. He needed a walk to clear his head and while the slightly cool air wasn't exactly a substitute for the Nightside's rain slicked city streets, the full moon hanging in the sky was nice. Sure, it wasn't nearly as large as the one in the Nightside but that was just fine with him At the howl of a wolf in the distance, he suppressed a shudder thinking that the sound may have been pushing things a bit though. He didn't know if Sunnydale had any werewolves but he couldn't see why not. The town was full of things that none of them had even thought about before so why not werewolves? Either way, it was time to head back. He had an appointment to keep.

It was a couple of days till December and he hadn't talked to Buffy, Willow or Giles since the night outside the church. He had spied on them a bit, just to see how they where, but had made sure that they didn't see him. Buffy still seemed pretty pissed about things from what he could tell. Couldn't blame her really though that did little to make him feel better. It hurt him to see how much it was affecting Willow but it was for the best. He wasn't a part of them, he couldn't be anymore.

Seeing Kendra's body had been the wake-up call he needed. It was sad and he still blamed himself but he used it. He took it inside of himself and forged it into determination to do better. To do what was needed, to do what no one else could. Make the hard choices, as John would say. He didn't doubt that his friends, or ex-friends rather, wouldn't do what they could to help people but he didn't think they had it in them to do some of the harder things in life. To walk that fine line that didn't have any clear cut choices. Well, maybe Giles but that was about it. He couldn't put his finger on it but Xander could sense something underneath the Watcher's calm tweed clad appearance.

Quickening his pace to both make it to his appointment and to get off the streets, Xander put his hands in his coat pockets and stared dead ahead. The alleyways and streets where no longer safe for him after dark. The vampires that Spike had told to lay off and watch over him hadn't taken it kindly that he had nearly done away with Spike and where gunning for him. Some with more gusto then others. After all, when the Order of Taraka backs away and you nearly turn a master vampire into a eunuch people get hesitant about confronting you.

It had been while Xander was doing an actual bit of detective work a week after everything went down that he heard about the Order and Spike. He had been tracking down any lead on the Order of Taraka to make sure they had either left town or to see what they were planning next for Buffy that he had found their contact person in Sunnydale. The Order was claiming that since they had been contracted to kill the Slayer and that murder of Kendra qualified that they had finished the job. The contract had never stipulated the name of the Slayer involved since at the time no one had known about the other one. It was a loophole but it was the only way for them to save face and pull out without any more damage. This had apparently turned into Xander running them out of town and he wasn't about to correct anybody.

The bleached blonde had survived, more or less intake, along with Drusilla but both where laying low and licking their wounds. No one that was talking had any beat on the two of them but their minions where roaming the streets. If they hadn't left town yet then it was just a matter of time before they struck back at either him or Buffy or both probably. Something else to worry about.

Adding these two little events to the night with the Mayor and Xander was earning himself quite the reputation. It was enough to keep the flies off him for the moment and that was enough for him.

Luckily he didn't hit anything unfriendly on the way to Willie's place. He nodded to the bartender as he walked in and took a look around. The little guy nodded back and continued filling glasses.

The place wasn't packed but it was busy enough to keep Willie going and the noise level up enough that you couldn't eavesdrop easily. None of the other patrons bothered him as he waited at the end of the bar for Willie. Fact of the matter is he had started spending so much time here that if they weren't wary of him enough to stay away they had started to see him as a regular of sorts and let it go at that.

After about five minutes, Willie came over with a dishrag slung over his shoulder and an easy smile on his face. "I don't know what the hell has the demons jumping tonight but I'll take it, ya know kid? Things have been picking up steadily but nothing like this."

"Must be the promise of all those bar snacks you keep going on about," Xander joked.

"Hey, mock me if you want but I have it from a very reliable source that most demons go nuts for anything deep fried. No idea why and between you and me, I don't want to know, OK? As long as they don't ask for anything to crazy and it get's them in here, I'm all for it," Willie grabbed a few glasses from under the bar and started filling them. Some with liqueur and others with things Xander would rather not think about. "Tonight's the night you got that whole talk going down, right?"

Sighing, Xander nodded his head. "Yea. Couldn't really put it off forever. Besides, might learn something valuable. If nothing else, at least pass on something helpful to them."

"Angel's good people, kid. He won't do you wrong. A bit hard when it comes to getting information at times, but he won't screw you over."

Raising an eyebrow Xander said, "Is this your version of a glowing endorsement? Ideas of good and bad, Willie? Here I thought you were just some morally ambagious booze slinger."

For some reason this seemed to stop Willie in his fluid movements. He looked down at the half poured glass for a moment, his eyes somewhere else though. "Morally ambiguous, huh? If only it were that simple."

Xander was caught off guard by the other man's sudden shift in mood. Willie and him had talked a lot over the past couple of weeks actually but they never got on the topic of the man himself. Now that he thought about it, the only reason Xander even knew that Willie was from New York was from the stories he would tell about growing up there and the guys accent. He wanted to ask him what he was talking about but thought better of it. If he wanted to tell him something he would. Simple as that.

Nodding his head to the both furthest in the back, Xander said, "I'll be back there, Willie. When Angel get's here, let me know."

"Yea, sure thing, kid," the bartender nodded, still lost in thought.

Xander didn't have to wait long before Angel showed up. Not more then five minutes later, the vampire walked into the bar and Xander watched as Willie directed him over to where he was sitting. Both men nodded by way of greeting then sat there in awkward silence.

Angel had been the one to make contact with Xander about meeting to talk to begin with, leaving a message with Willie for him about the day and time. By that logic, Xander didn't think that it was up to him to start off the conversation. Never mind the fact that he was more then a little out of place at the moment. It had been his fault that Spike had almost sucked him dry in order to get Drusilla up to full strength and while Angel had mentioned about not holding him responsible, it made Xander tense none the less.

After a few minutes of looking around at everything other then the person in front of them, Angel finally spoke up. "So, you seem to be alright."

"Yea, nothing to really complain about," Xander lied.

Fixing him with a look, Angel stopped his own fidgeting and got down to business. "They're concerned."

"Who is?" Xander played dumb. He didn't have a real reason to, he just felt like being difficult. Call it childish if you want but it still made Xander smile to bug Angel.

"You know who. Buffy may still be angry but I can hear it in her voice. She's worried about you. Worried about what's happened to you. She's not the only one."

The humor that had been in his eyes died and he became somber. "Yea, I know. I've seen them. But you know as well as I do that I can't go back to them. Let's say that for some strange reason that Buffy and the rest of them could forgive me for what happened. What then? What happens the next time something goes down where either they can't bring themselves to do something that might make sense but is too hard for them to do or I go and do things my way? Buffy lives by different rules then I do now. She can't do the things I can do and she shouldn't have to."

"And Willow? What about her? You don't think that she needs to see that your alright?"

Looking up, Xander glared at the man across the table from him. "Don't."

"Don't what? Tell you something that you should already know?" Angel said, returning the look with one of his own.

"You know how much it hurts to drag myself away from them and Willow most of all. She's family to me."

"Then why do it?"

The anger was still there but this time it was directed at himself. Looking down again, breaking eye contact, Xander said softly, "Because if I don't, she'll get hurt. They all will. That's not some vague comment but a fact. I'm a target and anyone who's close to me will be collateral."

Angel didn't say anything but Xander could feel his eyes on him. He wasn't trying to be mean, he was trying to understand. Trying to help. It didn't feel like it and part of him, a large part of him, resented the fact that he was even offering it. There wasn't any help for him at this point short of going back in time and stopping all of this from happening but that wasn't going to happen. Well, it could, knowing this town. But he wasn't going to be the one to start down that road. Having gone back in time already he knew the mess it got you in. Besides, he somehow doubted that Father Time would allow him to do it.

"What happened, Xander?" Angel asked quietly. "I got most of it from Buffy and Giles, you know that, but I want to hear it from you. Not about the Nightside, about you. What happened to you that night?"

Xander wanted to tell him. Hell, he wanted to tell anyone who would listen really. The thoughts had been bouncing around in his own head for so long he was ready to pop. But when he tried his throat started to close up on him. Angel wasn't going to let him get away with glazing over details like Buffy and the rest of them. The man simply wasn't interested in what the Nightside was like. He knew enough about it already to know that he wanted nothing to do with it. No. He wanted something else. He wanted to know about what happened to _him_. He wanted to hear about the nightmares that haunted him even when he was awake. The pain that he had experienced first hand, pain that wasn't his to begin with. It was this reason that Xander's voice wouldn't obey him and the reason why he stood up and walked away without saying anything.

Returning a minute later, the dark haired youth placed a glass in front of Angel, sat down and put a bottle down between the them. "I need a drink."

Without a word, the two fill their glasses and take a few sips. Then, after almost five minutes of nothing but the sound of glasses hitting the table top, Xander begins to speak. He tells Angel everything, or as much of it as he can. He tells him about how he experienced all of John's life, moment to moment, year by year and lived inside of the man's head the whole time. How he had been gone for thirty years and how he had seen and felt things that he knew he was never meant to. How he couldn't close his eyes at night without seeing the horrors that John had gone up against in his life.

He goes in depth about the war with Lilith and everything that led up to it. The trips through time, the lives destroyed, being chased down by Hern the Hunter and running for his life. All of it poured out of him like a dam that was finally opened. The only times he would stop was when the memory was especially painful. Lilith herself was one such thing but there were others. Some of these where things that John wasn't all that bothered with but shook Xander to the core. The Lord of Thorns, The Lamenation, The Harrowing, Merlin. Somehow, they all seemed to have seen him while he was inside of John spoke to him in words and in not words.

By the time he was done, almost the entire bottle had been consumed and his hands hadn't stopped shaking. He would have reached for the bottle again had he thought he wouldn't spill it all over the table. Angel, who had remained silent except for one or two questions, sat with a hard to read expression on his face. Maybe it wasn't that hard to read and maybe Xander had just had one drink too many.

"You didn't tell them," Angel finally said.

"I tried, man. I really did. They didn't get it though," Xander replied almost pleadingly. "When I spoke to them about the Nightside Buffy and Willow pretty much brushed it aside. They didn't understand what I was talking about."

Shaking his head, Angel leaned forward. "I meant about you. About what you went through, Xander. What you saw and felt, it's enough to drive most people insane and your not as far off as you'd like to think."

"They wouldn't get," he muttered. "How could they? If they didn't understand about the place itself how could they even begin to understand about what I went through? Buffy's first reaction was to ask how to get to the Nightside! Probably to kill anything that moved, or at least try to till she got herself killed. Or worse."

Angel didn't have a response to that seeing how it was true. When Buffy had spoken to Angel about the whole thing she had hinted about wanting to go there and give the whole place a good run through. It had been anger talking but no one would doubt her actual desire to do so. No, Angel understood what Xander was telling him. There wasn't anyway that they would understand him or accept him for who he was now.

"So, what now? You plan on following in John's lead and take up being a private eye? Sort of, I dunno, a little lame if you ask me," Angel said weakly, looking at the bottom of his glass.

Xander gave him an annoyed look before answering. "I'll have you know that there's a lot more to it then just lameness, Dead, um...guy."

"Dead Guy?" Angel said with a chuckle. "I think I'd rather have you call me Dead Boy. At least that rolled off the tongue a bit better."

"Can't. There's already a Dead Boy and if I keep calling you that everything will get really confusing," Xander stopped and went wide eyed. A giggle escaped his mouth which he promptly. It did nothing to hide the laughter but at least kept it somewhat quiet.

"OK, what's so funny?" Angel asked after Xander failed to calm himself down three times.

Inhaling deeply a few times to catch his breath, Xander tried to reply but started laughing again. His face was red at this point and he hit the table a few times as a fresh wave of laughter escaped him. Clearly he was drunk but even so, it was just too damn funny for Xander to not laugh.

Finally, he calmed down enough to be able to speak. "I'm sorry. But, come on! Out of all the people in all the worlds for me to get turned into it had to be someone who also had some guy named Dead Boy? How the hell would I be able to keep a straight face if you two ever met?"

Angel watched as the young man fell into another fit of laughter. It had to have been the alcohol because unless he was missing something, it just wasn't that funny. Maybe it was just him finally letting go some of the tension, the manic laughter could be a release of sorts before he snapped. Angel could understand it. There had been times when he himself had nearly lost it and would have down some truly terrible things had it not been for one moment of release of at least some of the stress. There where also times when that relief never came but those where incidents that he tried not to think about with varying degrees of success.

Xander looked down at his own glass smiling faintly. "Do you know why John became a private eye? I mean, it's one job where he's pretty much going to be good at it. And he is, really. Come on! The guy could find a needle in a haystack in less time then it would take to boil an egg. Finding lost objects and people is normally a cake walk. But he did it for two reasons mostly. One, he wanted to get paid. Plain and simple. A guy needs to be able to get a roof over his head and a few meals every once in a while. But John never made any real money, not for a while anyway and that brings us to reason number two.

"He has morals and a deep need to help people. He grew up in a place where looking out for the little guy usual got you crushed, eaten and flayed and generally not in that order. Those morals and desire to not screw people over who didn't deserve it kept him poor and not even close to scrapping by for too many years to count. Do you know how bad rats taste? No matter how much salt you put on them you still taste rat."

Angel nodded in agreement. "I spent a good number of years in an alley. Rats were pretty much my steady diet back then."

"Oh," Xander said, clearly not expecting that answer. "Well, then you also know how easy it would have been for you to just reach out and take what you wanted, what you needed. You also know just how hard it is at the same time. Sure, your curse helps with that but still."

The vampire didn't respond but sent a short glare Xander's way. The curse was a sore spot with him and while the young man hadn't meant it as such, it still stung a bit.

Seemingly not to notice, Xander went on. "I agree with him, Angel. People and things that aren't people need someone to help them too. Not just in a saving their lives from the brink of death. Buffy's good at keeping the monster's back but she can't help them out from the more forward thinking monsters out there. You think that Buffy could do anything about it when someone like Mayor puts something in motion? It's not her place to do so anyway, but maybe I can."

"And get paid at the same time too, huh?"

"I'm not stupid," Xander smirked. "There's also going to be plenty of things out there that would be willing to pay for my kind of help even if they aren't in desperate need."

Angel sighed, filled both of their glasses, and took a drink. "You think you can do it? Can you handle it when you make a mistake and someone gets hurt because of it? Take work from the wrong person and end up doing more harm then good? There's a lot of gray out there, Xander, and it's hard enough when you think everything is black and white."

"Yea, I know. I've got more then enough reminders about that," Xander replied sadly. "There's, uh, one more thing. Something that I spoke to the gang about back when we were all on speaking terms. Something here knows about me."

"Well, yea," Angel looked confused. "Everyone's been talking about you and everything that's gone on."

"No," Xander shook his head. "Not that. Something's been watching me when I use my gift. It...It's been making me nervous. I haven't been using it as much as I could because of it. Whatever's been keeping it's eyes on me is big and bad and ready to rip me open the second I let my guard down."

"Any ideas on what it is? Something from the Nightside homing in on Taylor's gift maybe?" Angel asked looking concerned.

Shrugging, Xander took another sip of his drink. "Maybe, I don't know anything for sure except that it's bad. I've felt Heaven and Hell both rip into John's head and this thing comes close to how it felt. But it makes me hesitant about using it. The gift I mean. But if I don't then...then things like what happened to Kendra happen."

There were no easy answers to these problems and both men knew it. The simple fact was that Xander needed to vent, needed to say it to someone and Angel understood better then anyone else. All that Xander could do at this point was move forward and do what he thought was best.

After the silence that fell between them, Angel leaned back. "If you need anything you just need to ask. I can't promise that I'll be able to help but I can try. But, I have just one question. Something that's been bothering me for some reason."

"Sure, but I get to ask you a question first," Xander said then continued when Angel nodded in agreement. "Why help me? I mean, we aren't exactly friends and if Buffy finds out that your even talking to me I wouldn't doubt sharp wooden objects being hurled at you on impulse alone. You don't owe me anything so...why do it?"

Xander was genuinely confused on this point. He didn't think that Angel would purposely do anything to hurt him, not anymore. But to help? That was just crazy talk. However this was the second time that the vampire had offered his assistance to him and it had him curious.

"Because you need it," Angel stated. "Besides, I've been were you are. The nightmares don't go away, they just get a little harder to hear sometimes."

"Us monsters have to stick together, huh?" Xander smirked, realizing how true that statement was in both John's and his life now.

"Something like that," Angel chuckled despite the seriousness of the mood. "Now it's my turn. What the hell made you go as John Taylor? How the hell did you even know who he was to begin with?"

Wincing, Xander shrugged. "Honestly? I had no idea who is or even who I was going as. Trust me, if I had any idea who he was do you really think I would have dressed as him even with not knowing what was going to happen?"

"So you dressed up as someone you didn't know because you, what? Liked the coat?"

Shaking his head, Xander smiled. "I was originally going to go as a soldier. I mean, I was going for cheap and easy and getting some two dollar toy gun was the best I could come up with."

"And that Ethan guy made you a better deal?" Angel asked, thinking he was beginning to catch on.

"Ethan? Hell no. He was too busy showing Buffy that frilly dress get up. No, he had some girl working for him. Said that she wouldn't let me go as some two bit grunt when I could go as a king in waiting. At the time I had no idea what she was talking about but what did I care? Some pretty girl was talking to me, you know?"

"You remember what she looked like?"

Nodding his head, Xander said, "Oh yea. Pretty much burned it into my mind after I woke up that night so that way if I ever see her I can personally give her a piece of my mind. She was maybe 5'6", long black hair, looked Chinese or Japanese or something like that. She had this real commanding air about her too," Xander stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, I think I may actually want to kill her a little."

Snorting slightly, Angel hid his smirk. "She give you a name?"

"Nope. No name tag either. I, uh, checked for one...a few times," Xander said and took a drink to hid his blush.

"I'll see if I can come up with anything," Angel told him.

"Why? You think I haven't already tried?" Xander said. "No one know's anything about her and in order to find Ethan and ask him I'd have to use my gift. I'd rather not at the moment unless I have to."

Nodding in understanding, Angel sat in thought. It was a lot to take in and definitely made things a bit more then complicated. He didn't like how things where heading but he couldn't due anything about it. He would talk to Buffy when she calmed down enough but even that wouldn't really do much considering that Xander himself felt that he wasn't suited to be around them anymore.

Someone coming over and standing next to the table got the attention of Angel and Xander. It was a blue skinned demon dressed in normal everyday clothes marking him as one of the more progressive ones. He seemed nervous and kept darting his eyes between Xander and Angel.

"I know you?" Xander said none to nicely causing the demon to flinch slightly and Angel to give him a look. The vampire hadn't thought that he could make his voice sound that way.

"Ah, no. It's...I saw you. Before, a few weeks ago. With the vampires," the demon said.

Thinking for a moment, Xander snapped his fingers. "Yea, that's right. I remember seeing you at the bar. So, what do you want?"

"Well, um, they say that you can do things. Find things," the nervous looking demon said. "And that you're for hire."

Raising an eyebrow, Xander looked over and Angel, nodding. Taking the hint, Angel stood up and readied himself to leave.

"We'll talk later. Just remember what I said," Angel told him. Then, with one last look at the demon, he turned and left.

Motioning to the now empty seat, Xander got himself into what he thought was the proper listening position. The demon was looking very skitterish and kept glancing over his shoulder. It took the guy awhile to get comfortable and Xander couldn't help but smile to himself. Here he was, sitting in a demon bar with what was to be his first real client. Sure, his friends had abandoned him, the only people that he was talking to at this point was Willie and Angel and he had more things gunning for him then where comfortable to think about. And yet, for some reason, he was comfortable with it. He could deal with what was coming because, really, what choice did he really have?

Shaking his head slightly, Xander gave the demon in front of him what he hoped was a comforting and reassuring smile.

"OK, two questions first off. What seems to be the problem?"

The blue skinned demon waited for a moment before saying, "Um, that's only one question."

With a smile and a wink, Xander leaned back. "The second one's even more important. Can you afford me?"


End file.
